(no subject)
A long time ago, when I first started travelling, I told someone I was looking for that moment when I would look up from my espresso and go "you know... I kindda miss my mother."
I've since given up coffee altogether. I've since travelled to the furtherest distance I can go on this planet from where I'd started. I've since won and lost, reached beyond the edges of my "Self", failed and succeeded, become at once more and less than who and what I was when I'd began. Not all of it good, not all of it bad. I've learnt, somehow, beyond all expectation, to mellow. I've forgotten, somehow, against the odds, the trick of invulnerability.
And it's the darnedest thing, I think, just maybe, I could be homesick (except that's not quite right either because A.home has always been, to me, something I carry with me, and B.it's completely and utterly inexplicable, there is not any particular thing I miss about that geography or any particular reason to miss it or anything-- still, there must be something to it when you subconsciously set your searches to that place so far away? And when the word tastes accurate inside your head before you've fully registered what it is and means?)
Still not missing her though.
I've since given up coffee altogether. I've since travelled to the furtherest distance I can go on this planet from where I'd started. I've since won and lost, reached beyond the edges of my "Self", failed and succeeded, become at once more and less than who and what I was when I'd began. Not all of it good, not all of it bad. I've learnt, somehow, beyond all expectation, to mellow. I've forgotten, somehow, against the odds, the trick of invulnerability.
And it's the darnedest thing, I think, just maybe, I could be homesick (except that's not quite right either because A.home has always been, to me, something I carry with me, and B.it's completely and utterly inexplicable, there is not any particular thing I miss about that geography or any particular reason to miss it or anything-- still, there must be something to it when you subconsciously set your searches to that place so far away? And when the word tastes accurate inside your head before you've fully registered what it is and means?)
Still not missing her though.