feeling torn
I just got back from dropping my sister off at the airport after she was here visiting for the weekend. And I miss her already. I wish that I could see her, and my brother, and my parents more often, (and my grandmother, and my aunts and uncles and cousins...), and I wish it didnt have to be a big ordeal for that to happen.
and im really living in boston now. i love our apt, i love our neighborhood, i love my job. i know where eveyrthing is, i run into people in the street that i know, and this is where i've become me, where i've done my real growing up. i'm a grown up here =O it's kind of funny, freshman year there were three of us who were from other cities and damn proud of it, philly chicago and new york, and we spend a lot of time talking about how great our respective cities are and would say how we're going straight back as soon as school's done. i'll give you three guesses how many of us are still living in boston now that school's over...
because as much as i still love philly and i really enjoy boston, a home isn't really a place when you get down to it, it's the people that live there (not news to me, but still worth saying). so what happens when the people you love are in more than one place?
and i keep coming back to my sister, because she's so young and i had been saying that i wanted to get back to philly before she left for college, but with my luck she'd decide to go to school in boston =P and she kept telling me how she loves spending time with me, and she loves me, and im so cool, and other such tugging at your heart strings type things for little sisters to say (tho she's not so little anymore...). and my brother has said similar things, and i guess if they like me so much then it cant be as bad as i think. maybe its better we dont see each other too often so i stay the aloof awesome sister. but i really wish i could just meet my brother for lunch, or take my sister shopping, or stop in for dinner every once in a while.
and then you get into all of the annoying parts of being an adult, like having a job. when seth graduated college he stayed in boston for grad school because i was still in school. by the time i graduated he'd been at his job for a few years but didnt want to leave yet, and wanted to get his cpa before getting a new job so he wouldnt have to start at the bottom again. now he's doing it this year, and says he'd be ready to leave after that, but i just got this job i really like and i want to stay here long enough to make an impact. he doesnt really want to stay at his firm much longer, so he'll probably end up getting another job while we're still in boston, and we'll have to stay a few more years after that, and im still going to grad school, and the cycle continues.
so what do i do? just live my life i guess and see what happens.
and im really living in boston now. i love our apt, i love our neighborhood, i love my job. i know where eveyrthing is, i run into people in the street that i know, and this is where i've become me, where i've done my real growing up. i'm a grown up here =O it's kind of funny, freshman year there were three of us who were from other cities and damn proud of it, philly chicago and new york, and we spend a lot of time talking about how great our respective cities are and would say how we're going straight back as soon as school's done. i'll give you three guesses how many of us are still living in boston now that school's over...
because as much as i still love philly and i really enjoy boston, a home isn't really a place when you get down to it, it's the people that live there (not news to me, but still worth saying). so what happens when the people you love are in more than one place?
and i keep coming back to my sister, because she's so young and i had been saying that i wanted to get back to philly before she left for college, but with my luck she'd decide to go to school in boston =P and she kept telling me how she loves spending time with me, and she loves me, and im so cool, and other such tugging at your heart strings type things for little sisters to say (tho she's not so little anymore...). and my brother has said similar things, and i guess if they like me so much then it cant be as bad as i think. maybe its better we dont see each other too often so i stay the aloof awesome sister. but i really wish i could just meet my brother for lunch, or take my sister shopping, or stop in for dinner every once in a while.
and then you get into all of the annoying parts of being an adult, like having a job. when seth graduated college he stayed in boston for grad school because i was still in school. by the time i graduated he'd been at his job for a few years but didnt want to leave yet, and wanted to get his cpa before getting a new job so he wouldnt have to start at the bottom again. now he's doing it this year, and says he'd be ready to leave after that, but i just got this job i really like and i want to stay here long enough to make an impact. he doesnt really want to stay at his firm much longer, so he'll probably end up getting another job while we're still in boston, and we'll have to stay a few more years after that, and im still going to grad school, and the cycle continues.
so what do i do? just live my life i guess and see what happens.