Reference post of epic uselessness. || 002.
Because it seems to be a bloody popular question with the lot of you, I, Spike, will answer: Why does Spike live in Hell on Earth?
Well you see, chaps and chappies, it all started with a very small crack between the Hell dimension and California. In the basement of a school, no less. No matter how hard she tried, the Slayer couldn't seem to stuff Hell back in. Affectionately, we called Sunnyhelldale "The Hellmouth," and accepted our lots in life as demon punching-bags.
But one day, Hell became too great for even the Slayer to handle, and that's where I come in. Put on a necklace, went boom, and I took Hell, and Sunnydale, with me. Woke up a year later in the middle of a law firm.. demon law firm, but still, of all the sodding places. Walked around as a ghost for a bit before I got my corporeality back (is that really a word? this phone's not correcting me).
Fast-forward a bit and it's the same scene all over again. Same game, different players. The Slayer and her Scoobies went off to Rome and all, so it's up to me and the bloody Magnificent Pouf to stop this.
I mean, we got Illyria and Gunn and all. But the rest - are gone. Battle's over and nothing won. And here we are in the smack dab of Hell. Dungeons, dragons, but no brimstone to speak of. It's a pretty bleak imitation if you ask me.
Most of the vampires are gone, yeah? Just me Angel and Gunn (with his crew) left. The rest are minions or dust, by now. Got my sodding half-brother but he's no bloody good, is he? All that greasy hair in his face.
Long story short, Hell's here to stay. We can't get out, no one can get to us; not until we stop it.
Too bad I don't have another one of those bloody necklaces.
Well you see, chaps and chappies, it all started with a very small crack between the Hell dimension and California. In the basement of a school, no less. No matter how hard she tried, the Slayer couldn't seem to stuff Hell back in. Affectionately, we called Sunnyhelldale "The Hellmouth," and accepted our lots in life as demon punching-bags.
But one day, Hell became too great for even the Slayer to handle, and that's where I come in. Put on a necklace, went boom, and I took Hell, and Sunnydale, with me. Woke up a year later in the middle of a law firm.. demon law firm, but still, of all the sodding places. Walked around as a ghost for a bit before I got my corporeality back (is that really a word? this phone's not correcting me).
Fast-forward a bit and it's the same scene all over again. Same game, different players. The Slayer and her Scoobies went off to Rome and all, so it's up to me and the bloody Magnificent Pouf to stop this.
I mean, we got Illyria and Gunn and all. But the rest - are gone. Battle's over and nothing won. And here we are in the smack dab of Hell. Dungeons, dragons, but no brimstone to speak of. It's a pretty bleak imitation if you ask me.
Most of the vampires are gone, yeah? Just me Angel and Gunn (with his crew) left. The rest are minions or dust, by now. Got my sodding half-brother but he's no bloody good, is he? All that greasy hair in his face.
Long story short, Hell's here to stay. We can't get out, no one can get to us; not until we stop it.
Too bad I don't have another one of those bloody necklaces.