(no subject)
2009=DRAMA
It starts with the whole school thing and not knowing if I am going back to Gwynedd.
Then the whole starting to get over Steve thing and him wanting to hang out, which in turn screwed me up.
Then the whole Pete liking me thing when he has a girlfriend.
Then me liking Randy, Pete's best friend, while Pete likes me, and not us not telling Pete about us hanging out.
Now its the whole old love vs. new love bull crap that looks so easy when you watch it on tv, but when you are faced with it, it drives you insane.
Its not easy saying no to the one you love when he says he loves you too, and needs you, and wants to be with nobody but you, and hes sorry, and he screwed up, and he's ready to start over.
But at the same time, there's Randy. He's done NOTHING wrong. I have feelings for him. He acts like I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. When we are together, I can act like I'm five years old again and its okay because he does the same thing. And I admire him a lot.
I also admire Steve. He legit wants to be with me for the long run. But he broke my heart, and if I got back with him, I could be missing out on something great with Randy.
But everytime I go to talk about Randy, Steve's name comes out.
And whenever I look at my future, I see me and Steve in a house in Abington with our English Bulldog.
But at the same time, there are some things I want to do in the future, and I don't want a guy to prevent me from persuing my dreams.
I'm not going to leave Randy. Its already been decided. I'm just afraid that one day I will wake up and think "Oh my God what am I doing?" Hate this.
It starts with the whole school thing and not knowing if I am going back to Gwynedd.
Then the whole starting to get over Steve thing and him wanting to hang out, which in turn screwed me up.
Then the whole Pete liking me thing when he has a girlfriend.
Then me liking Randy, Pete's best friend, while Pete likes me, and not us not telling Pete about us hanging out.
Now its the whole old love vs. new love bull crap that looks so easy when you watch it on tv, but when you are faced with it, it drives you insane.
Its not easy saying no to the one you love when he says he loves you too, and needs you, and wants to be with nobody but you, and hes sorry, and he screwed up, and he's ready to start over.
But at the same time, there's Randy. He's done NOTHING wrong. I have feelings for him. He acts like I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. When we are together, I can act like I'm five years old again and its okay because he does the same thing. And I admire him a lot.
I also admire Steve. He legit wants to be with me for the long run. But he broke my heart, and if I got back with him, I could be missing out on something great with Randy.
But everytime I go to talk about Randy, Steve's name comes out.
And whenever I look at my future, I see me and Steve in a house in Abington with our English Bulldog.
But at the same time, there are some things I want to do in the future, and I don't want a guy to prevent me from persuing my dreams.
I'm not going to leave Randy. Its already been decided. I'm just afraid that one day I will wake up and think "Oh my God what am I doing?" Hate this.