so much Tears, so much Love
It always feels a little disconcerting, coming home from San Francisco. Almost immediately i feel it on the plane rides and in the transit lounges. Even the walk to the boarding gates hurt. That sudden awareness of being alone for the first time in quite a while- it's almost crazy. And then almost everything smell the same way his clothes do; from Kitty to the leather of my boots to my clothes in the luggage. Photos really do alot more damage. It's looking at one simple photo of us smiling at home, or lying on the grass, or holding hands in a mirror reflection on the sidewalk and I remember everything. Yes we were smiling at home in front of the camera because we both made the best baked pasta in the whole wide world. and he never looked at us in the mirror by the sidewalk cuz i took it secretly on our way to the ice rink, and the result was simply quite beautiful.
This summer was probably the most emotional one we have had so far. I remember the time when we realised we only had $100 in his bank 3 weeks into my stay and it really wasn't that bad but he was so disappointed at having to cancel our trip. And then there were the bills and late fees and having a room-mate move out so we gotta find a new one before the month is over. Which we did by the way and she's lovely. The previous one was a serious ghetto lowlife whom we can never figure out the reason why she cut the cables to the clothes washer and dryer so sneakily in the middle of the night when all of us are asleep just so we couldn't do our laundry when she's gone. She was seriously just trash we all love to talk about because she was so true of all Mexican stereotypes. I mean, really.
We talked about the world, religion, people, countries and marriage out of many things. Not marriage in a general way but i'm-gonna-marry-you kinda way which was really nice. There was one morning when he had to go to the bank and i was too lazy to want to do anything so i stayed home. And when he came back, he came right up to me and there it was - a red rose from behind his back. It was very lovely, and emotional me couldn't help tearing of course.. It wasn't any occasion, just a really really lovely surprise. It's now dried and hanging by the window. Nope i didn't bring it back, the crispy leaves wouldn't last the plane ride home. We had a funny schedule. Sleep at 4am, wake up at 3pm, do whatever til it's time to sleep again. And oh, eat dinner at 2am.
When i got back online after throwing down my stuff at home and flicking on our webcams, John told me "it's silly but i don't even feel like playing videogames now that you're gone. I wish you were still here telling me not to play." and then i wish i told him how much i'd kill to watch him play his Sulik, and my Suliko. It's alot of quiet now on our ends and i fear much more over there because i would talk and laugh and shout and scream so much and now - so quiet now. He's really a hermit on his own. That's not to say he doesn't have a life outside of his computer but he doesn't party that much actually. i'm wondering how much quiet he's having now compared to me. My family's here and i've noisy sisters and a lovely mother. That's why i know he'd feel it so much more.
I've started on Sophie's World all over again because John bought it while we were at Borders researching on Persian mythology. The aim was for me to finish it before he arrives in SG and then he'd fill me in on the rest of 1001 Arabian Nights. My mother never read me stories at bedtime when i was a kid; it only seemed to happen in the day. Isn't it wierd but anyways. We would read each other crazy stories about genies, enchanted gazelles, adultery, slaves, witches, wealthy kings and their vendetta until we both fall asleep. And now, i cannot wait to hear about Sinbad, magic carpets, talking parrots and even more genies.
and how on my last day, he showered with me like every other morning, even though he had already done so earlier.
I guess this didn't turn out sounding too much like a sad entry but i think it actually is.
This summer was probably the most emotional one we have had so far. I remember the time when we realised we only had $100 in his bank 3 weeks into my stay and it really wasn't that bad but he was so disappointed at having to cancel our trip. And then there were the bills and late fees and having a room-mate move out so we gotta find a new one before the month is over. Which we did by the way and she's lovely. The previous one was a serious ghetto lowlife whom we can never figure out the reason why she cut the cables to the clothes washer and dryer so sneakily in the middle of the night when all of us are asleep just so we couldn't do our laundry when she's gone. She was seriously just trash we all love to talk about because she was so true of all Mexican stereotypes. I mean, really.
We talked about the world, religion, people, countries and marriage out of many things. Not marriage in a general way but i'm-gonna-marry-you kinda way which was really nice. There was one morning when he had to go to the bank and i was too lazy to want to do anything so i stayed home. And when he came back, he came right up to me and there it was - a red rose from behind his back. It was very lovely, and emotional me couldn't help tearing of course.. It wasn't any occasion, just a really really lovely surprise. It's now dried and hanging by the window. Nope i didn't bring it back, the crispy leaves wouldn't last the plane ride home. We had a funny schedule. Sleep at 4am, wake up at 3pm, do whatever til it's time to sleep again. And oh, eat dinner at 2am.
When i got back online after throwing down my stuff at home and flicking on our webcams, John told me "it's silly but i don't even feel like playing videogames now that you're gone. I wish you were still here telling me not to play." and then i wish i told him how much i'd kill to watch him play his Sulik, and my Suliko. It's alot of quiet now on our ends and i fear much more over there because i would talk and laugh and shout and scream so much and now - so quiet now. He's really a hermit on his own. That's not to say he doesn't have a life outside of his computer but he doesn't party that much actually. i'm wondering how much quiet he's having now compared to me. My family's here and i've noisy sisters and a lovely mother. That's why i know he'd feel it so much more.
I've started on Sophie's World all over again because John bought it while we were at Borders researching on Persian mythology. The aim was for me to finish it before he arrives in SG and then he'd fill me in on the rest of 1001 Arabian Nights. My mother never read me stories at bedtime when i was a kid; it only seemed to happen in the day. Isn't it wierd but anyways. We would read each other crazy stories about genies, enchanted gazelles, adultery, slaves, witches, wealthy kings and their vendetta until we both fall asleep. And now, i cannot wait to hear about Sinbad, magic carpets, talking parrots and even more genies.
and how on my last day, he showered with me like every other morning, even though he had already done so earlier.
I guess this didn't turn out sounding too much like a sad entry but i think it actually is.