I think it's just important to cherish our year 11/12 years as crazy beautiful times. I seem to focus on the lies and bitching when i look back but I did form some amazing friendships anyway (even if they didn't last). And this is never going to be resolved because none of us will ever agree on exactly what happened. We will never see eye to eye on certain events like schoolies or boys, who was trying to steal who's boyfriend etc (I'm not just referring to roz vs. sarah by the way. this kind of crap happened non stop!) There were a lot of inflated egos and a lot of jealousy and pride. If we weren't you competing for the longest legs or hottest hair you were wanting to be the smartest in english or maths or the best at art or theatre. or most-wanted by joeys boys. But oh well. People I left school with as friends and continued into uni with as friends aren't even friends now. But oh well- it's better to have loved and lost. I'd rather lose than keep a friendship going on pretence. I'm starting to let go of bad friendships more and more by just walking away from them. I don't want to be cruel or cut anybody down but life's too short to waste on a friend you can't trust or a friend's boyfriend who sexually harrasses you and sexually assaults one of your friends... but that's another story.
what i'm saying girls (or girl! i don't know who is reading this!)... is that through year 11 and 12 i loved you ALL with my all. It's my second year out of Clonard and I have probably two close friends who i trust without question from our group, plus another one or two who i love wholeheartedly but rarely see (Shqipe i misssssss yoouuuuuuuuuuuuu!!). But that's okay, it doesn't mean i don't like or miss others. and i certainly don't hate anybody. We've all changed a lot, some of us have grown up and some of us are exactly the same as when we were last altogether at grad.
On another random thought- maybe what we all had in common was bitching. and then we all bitched too much or bitched ourselves into a corner and came unstuck. Just a thought. where that thought was leading to is this- we should all take a portion of blame cause we were all at times jealous, cruel or vindictive. We all lied and schemed, sometimes we schemed and told ourselves we were actually being caring and sweet but we were just loving a good backstabbing session.
these are just my thoughts. i said a lot i think but all i really wanted to say was: cherish the good, the bad and the ugly of those times. love it and laugh at it and hopefully we're at a stage now where even if we thought we hated one another at some stage, now if we ran into eachother we could smile and say hi then just keep walking.
what i'm saying girls (or girl! i don't know who is reading this!)... is that through year 11 and 12 i loved you ALL with my all. It's my second year out of Clonard and I have probably two close friends who i trust without question from our group, plus another one or two who i love wholeheartedly but rarely see (Shqipe i misssssss yoouuuuuuuuuuuuu!!). But that's okay, it doesn't mean i don't like or miss others. and i certainly don't hate anybody. We've all changed a lot, some of us have grown up and some of us are exactly the same as when we were last altogether at grad.
On another random thought- maybe what we all had in common was bitching. and then we all bitched too much or bitched ourselves into a corner and came unstuck. Just a thought. where that thought was leading to is this- we should all take a portion of blame cause we were all at times jealous, cruel or vindictive. We all lied and schemed, sometimes we schemed and told ourselves we were actually being caring and sweet but we were just loving a good backstabbing session.
these are just my thoughts. i said a lot i think but all i really wanted to say was: cherish the good, the bad and the ugly of those times. love it and laugh at it and hopefully we're at a stage now where even if we thought we hated one another at some stage, now if we ran into eachother we could smile and say hi then just keep walking.
hey, at least none of us are preggy yet hey...
xo
Reply
Leave a comment