Across the ocean
I was reading about how time is relative. How our past, present and future all exist simultaneously. We are limited, however, to only see the present by our five senses. I guess nothing is ever really lost. Nothing really ends. Time is no longer slipping away from me. Not the way it was the past year. Perhaps it is because I have finally allowed myself to live in the moment. By doing this I am finally facing the pain. I cried last night, my heart felt like it was breaking, and I asked Nick if this is what "dealing" with things felt like. I have always buffered myself, put a band-aid on the wound and forgotten about it. Never tried to heal. I suppose I will be healing for a long time. Because I am starting to cry for things that happened a long time ago. What have I been, the past few years, walking around with this ball of hurts, that just kept getting bigger. Like a snowball rolling down a hill, getting larger and gaining more speed. The snow is cold, but it's starting to melt. I can see summer, in the distance. I don't know where I will be in a year form now, hell, I don't know where I will be in a week, but I know I will be proud of it. Because I will go there as myself. "I figured out that is was okay to be vulnerable, it's beautiful to be vulnerable"