Never Trust Doctors

[rubikscomplex]

Hello, sick people! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregor Haus; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of two healers staffing in the hospital wing. Madame Pomphrey is off on official business for the nurses' union, because let's face it, nurses don't get paid enough to help people like you. So

Comments

[rubikscomplex]

Just Vicodin. Why, don't like crippled, irresponsible drug addicts? The drugs don't make me high, they make me neutral.

What a coincidence, I was hoping the same thing.

[rubikscomplex]

Who's to say you can't do both? I am that good. You will never know.

My hope can coexist with your reality just fine.

[rubikscomplex]

If you have a moral or ethical complaint, feel free to fill out one of the forms in the lobby and we'll get to it at our leisure. And we all know that that means we're just humoring you. It's more that you'll never see me not on them.

[rubikscomplex]

And you're calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top. Oh, I'm sorry - I thought we were having a 'state the obvious' contest. I'm competitive by nature. Oh, stop it, I think I'm starting to tear up.

[rubikscomplex]

Well, you know what they say about what "assume" does. Assume makes you a pain in the ass to me.

[rubikscomplex]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.