(no subject)
She said it'll harden you, that's what she said.
She's usually right.
It's such an unromantic approach to everything.
He said isn't that the point?
I don't think it is.
He and I don't agree.
I think the point is not getting closer with each step to
Finding the answer.
I think the point is figuring out what you want
While being too afraid to do it yourself.
Jaded is not my style
Yet somehow sprinting has become easier on my knees
And bright colors hurt my eyes
And I dreamt about hitting those kids
And I don't believe that love is the answer.
But all this sounds a lot like her- that slut, that wall
Who can have sex without strings
Who I have never seen anything but strength from
Who has no weaknesses even in the most agonizing pain-
She smokes them all away.
Also not my style.
So I guess the next question is who am I?
Because the danger with the breathing is that it gives you
An excuse.
To be lazy.
And not take responsibility.
I'm tired dammit.
You can't please everyone
But why can't we just always surround ourselves by
People who think
Our best is good enough?
The only answers I have are not the answers I want
I don't want to be a kid again
But I do want my ideals back
And my hopes
And my fearlessness.
It was there once, I can barely remember it but it was there.
Did I leave it in Europe?
California?
My student days at Lovewell?
Israel?
Elena's classes?
West End Avenue?
The womb?
Do I look back to find them
Or are they out there in the future?
Hold me.
She's usually right.
It's such an unromantic approach to everything.
He said isn't that the point?
I don't think it is.
He and I don't agree.
I think the point is not getting closer with each step to
Finding the answer.
I think the point is figuring out what you want
While being too afraid to do it yourself.
Jaded is not my style
Yet somehow sprinting has become easier on my knees
And bright colors hurt my eyes
And I dreamt about hitting those kids
And I don't believe that love is the answer.
But all this sounds a lot like her- that slut, that wall
Who can have sex without strings
Who I have never seen anything but strength from
Who has no weaknesses even in the most agonizing pain-
She smokes them all away.
Also not my style.
So I guess the next question is who am I?
Because the danger with the breathing is that it gives you
An excuse.
To be lazy.
And not take responsibility.
I'm tired dammit.
You can't please everyone
But why can't we just always surround ourselves by
People who think
Our best is good enough?
The only answers I have are not the answers I want
I don't want to be a kid again
But I do want my ideals back
And my hopes
And my fearlessness.
It was there once, I can barely remember it but it was there.
Did I leave it in Europe?
California?
My student days at Lovewell?
Israel?
Elena's classes?
West End Avenue?
The womb?
Do I look back to find them
Or are they out there in the future?
Hold me.