The Fifth Commandment
Title: The Fifth Commandment
Author: Ru_salki99
Rating: R
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or rights to Firefly. It all belongs to Mutant Enemy.
Author's notes: This was born from a conversation between myself and little_dumlping and so I dedicate it to you my lovely.
Warning: MPREG and Fluffiness.
Summary: After suffering from painful migraines, Mal goes to Simon for help only to be given an unexpected diagnosis.
thanks to michony for icon.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“So what’s the verdict Doc?” Mal asked as he lay on the bed with a hand over his eyes, “Why the hell am I gettin’ these hundan migraines?”
Simon bit his lip as he chose his words carefully, “I can’t find anything conclusive… yet,” he said.
“What do you mean yet?” Mal asked as he turned to look at him and then immediately regretted it as he was hit with another dizzy spell.
Simon walked over to the window and closed the blinds to hide them from the view of the others sitting outside, all of them concerned about their captain. When he walked back over to Mal, he sat down on the stool next to the bed, making sure to make himself seem less aggressive and in turn hopefully making Mal more comfortable.
“I’m going to ask you something personal and I don’t want you to get offended,” he began, thankful that Mal wasn’t wearing his gun, “But as your doctor, it’s something I need to know to determine what tests to do next.”
“Okay,” Mal said sceptically, “What’s the question?”
Taking a deep breath, Simon decided to just ask it and get it over with, “Mal, are you sly?”
“Shenme?” Mal asked as he dropped his hand away from his eyes to stare at Simon, “What the ruttin hell has that got to do with anything?”
“I’ll take that as a yes then,” Simon said as he slid across the floor to pull some sort of contraption out of a drawer, “And it has a lot to do with these migraines if you have what I think you do. Say ‘ah’,” he added as he stood and held up the contraption.
“Aahh,” Mal said, allowing Simon to swab the inside of his cheek, “What is that?” Mal asked him.
Simon sat back down to wait for the white blinking light to either turn red or blue, he hoped it turned blue, he wasn’t sure he would know what to do if it turned red.
“Doc? You hear me?” Mal snapped.
“I heard you,” Simon said, “But I’m ignoring you until I get the results of this test… oh Renci de Fouzu!” he said with a sigh as the light turned red.
“What?” Mal asked, getting really worried now.
“Mal when was the last time you had sex?” Simon asked him as he stood and put the test on the worktop.
“Why?” Mal asked him with a scowl.
“Because Mal, you’re pregnant,” Simon told him, “And the migraines are just one of the many things that pregnant people get. Have you been having any morning sickness? Tenderness around the nipples? Have you been suffering from fatigue, back ache? Have you been needing to urinate more often…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Mal said as he sat up and swung his legs off the bed, “Slow the hell down. I am not pregnant.”
Simon just stared at him in disbelief.
“Okay, maybe I might have had some of those things, but that does not make me pregnant. I can’t be, I mean the last time I had sex was… unless… schi.”
Simon jumped forward and caught Mal before he fell to the floor. He perched him up against the cupboards and crouched down beside him, “I take it that it was a one night stand then.”
“Something like that,” Mal said, “Was at your wedding,” he added.
Simon quickly did the math in his head, “So you’re eleven weeks,” he said, “Wow, I’m surprised we didn’t find out sooner.”
“I’ve been having these for a while,” he explained, “Maybe a month,” he added as he closed his eyes, the light really hurting his head now, “So can I take anything for the pain or do I got to suffer?”
“Uh, no. I can give you something for it,” Simon said as he stood, “But it’s the only thing you can take just now apart from vitamins, which I need you to actually take now and not just pretend that you are,” he added as he gave him a small cup of water and a couple of tablets.
“Thanks,” Mal said as he handed him back the cup.
“So what about those other symptoms?” Simon asked him as he gave him a supply of pain killers and the correct vitamins he needed, “Do you need anything for morning sickness?”
“No, I’ve not really been that bad with that. Only been sick a couple of times. Guess I’m making up for it with these migraines.”
Simon nodded and before offering his hand to help Mal up off the floor, “Well, I suggest that you go lie down for a while,” he told him, “You’re going to have to take things easy from now on, that is, if you’re keeping it.”
“I’m not getting an abortion,” Mal told him flatly.
Simon nodded, he had thought as much, “Right, well plenty of rest, no strenuous exercise, and that includes going out on jobs. Zoe will have to take over for you until the baby is born. If you get shot well, do I really need to tell you what could happen.”
“No I get it,” Mal said with a sigh before frowning at Simon, “Don’t you need to do scans and stuff?”
“I don’t have the correct equipment I’m afraid,” Simon said, “We’ll need to try and acquire some.”
“Okay,” he nodded, “I guess I’ll go lie down now,” he added as he made his way to the door, “Could you uh… could you tell them. I don’t think I could face it.”
Simon nodded, “Of course,” he said, “What about the father?” he asked him just before he opened the door.
“What about him?”
“Will you be telling him?” Simon asked.
“He’ll find out,” Mal nodded, before opening the door and walking past his entire crew.
“What’s going on?” Kaylee asked Simon, “Is he okay?”
“We’re going to be getting a new crew member,” Simon told them all, making them frown in confusion, “Mal’s pregnant.”
Wash was the first to react, bursting into laughter, “Yeah right, nice one Simon.”
“No really,” Simon said as he leaned up against the doorframe, “He’s eleven weeks.”
“Eleven weeks?” Kaylee squealed, “He had sex with someone at our wedding?”
“Apparently,” Simon said with a shrug.
“But, if he’s pregnant, wouldn’t that make him sly?” Inara asked in confusion.
“He’s leuen,” Zoe said matter of factly before turning to Simon, “Did he tell you who the father was?”
“No,” Simon told her, “It’s not my place to ask. I’m just here to make sure he and the baby remain healthy,” he explained.
“What about the headaches?” Book asked, “Were you able to give him something for them?”
“Yes, so long as he takes them in moderation he should be fine. However, we are going to have to find us an ultrasound machine,” he told them, “As well a few other things that he’ll need.”
“Well,” Zoe said as she stood, “Me and Wash can start shopping around.”
“Uh yeah,” Wash said standing with her, still giggling slightly, “We should get right on that.”
“It’s not funny,” River said, making him sober up immediately, “It’s beautiful. Two bodies connected in passion, their bodies moving together in perfect timing to create a new life,” she explained with a dreamy smile.
“You know you can’t talk like that around a baby,” Jayne told her, “It’s not ‘proppriate.”
River stared right at him, “Then you had best wash your mouth out too,” she said before getting up and walking away to her room.
“Whatever,” Jayne said as he stood, “I’ll be in my bunk.”
“Well that was just creepy,” Wash said as the two of them left them in silence.
“I’m inclined to agree,” Simon said with a smile before going back into the bay to clean up and write a list of the things they needed.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Jayne crept up his ladders, checking to make sure that all the other hatch doors were shut first before he made his way out into the corridor. He then checked the bridge to make sure no one was up there, unfortunately though, River was.
“Everyone else is sleeping,” she said as she spun in her seat to look up at him, “Everyone but the captain. He’s waiting for you.”
“Right,” Jayne nodded before back tracking and heading down the corridor to Mal’s bunk. He took a deep breath before gently pushing it open, “Mal?” he hissed, “You awake?”
Mal appeared at the bottom of the ladder, “Figured I’d be seeing you,” he said as he disappeared again.
Jayne took that as a sign that he was allowed in and began to climb down the ladders, “So uh,” he said when he reached the bottom, “How you feelin?”
“Just dandy Jayne, thanks for asking,” Mal said sarcastically as he sat down on his bed.
Jayne sighed and pulled over Mal’s desk chair to sit on, “I meant your headaches,” Jayne told him, “But if you’re gonna be all grumpy about it…”
“Headache’s fine Jayne,” Mal said with a sigh, “Still there, but it’s dulled to the point where it’s bearable.”
Jayne nodded, “So,” he said before clearing his throat, “What are we, what are we going to do about it?”
“We?” Mal asked in confusion.
“Well I am the father,” Jayne said, “Ain’t I?”
“Yeah, you are that,” Mal said as he looked down at the floor.
Eleven Weeks Earlier
“You sure about this?” Jayne asked as he pulled at Mal’s shirt, untucking it from his pants.
“Just shut up and fuck me Jayne,” Mal said as he began to pull at Jayne’s belt.
That was all the telling Jayne needed as he burst open Mal’s shirt, making the buttons go everywhere.
They had been sitting at a table on their own as everyone else danced and rejoiced at Kaylee and Simon’s wedding. They had found themselves alone, drunk and horny and well, one lewd comment led to a proposition, which then led to Jayne bending Mal over a stack of sacks of horse feed as he fucked him.
Jayne gripped at Mal’s hip with one hand while he gently stroked his other up that smooth back. He had always wanted to fuck Mal, but had never actually thought it would happen. As he pummelled into him, he noticed that Mal had propped himself up on an elbow as he pleasured himself. Jayne let his free hand fall from Mal’s back and reached round to his front, taking over for him. Mal then pushed himself up on both hands and began to push his body back to meet every one of Jayne’s thrusts with his own.
It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t mind blowing or particularly memorable. It wasn’t that it was bad, but it was a drunken screw, in a barn at their crewmate’s wedding. They didn’t kiss, they didn’t participate in any foreplay, it was simply, clothes off, bend over, spit on the hand and in Jayne went.
It had been painful. There was no denying that. But it had been just what Mal had needed, just what the both of them needed. However, it seemed that in their drunken haste to get off, they had forgot about using protection, it being the last thing on either of their mind.
Eleven Weeks Later
“So what are we going to do?” Jayne asked again, “I mean, the others will need to know.”
“I ain’t telling them I let you of all people fuck me,” Mal said.
“Well, I think they’ll figure it out when the baby start’s calling me Pa,” Jayne said.
“It ain’t calling you that,” Mal told him, “You can just be Uncle Jayne.”
Jayne looked like he had been slapped, “Uncle Jayne?” he asked quietly, “What are you saying Mal?”
Mal sighed and looked at him, “I want to do this on my own,” he said, “I think it would be best.”
“You can’t just decide that you don’t want me to be a part of this, cause I already am,” Jayne snapped, kicking the chair over as he stood up.
“Well you ain’t exactly parent material Jayne,” Mal snapped back as he stood.
“Right, I get it. You think I’m just an uneducated fool. That I don’t have the first idea about how to raise a child that I’m… what’s the word… uncouth!”
“I don’t think you’re uncouth Jayne,” Mal said, “I just, we’re not a couple, it was a one time thing and I think it would be best off for everyone involved if you just took a back seat in all of this.”
Jayne put his hands on his hips, studying Mal for a moment before accepting his fate, “Fine,” he said as he turned to climb up the ladder, “But think about how you would feel if it was me who was pregnant and telling you that you weren’t allowed to have anythin to do with your own child,” he told him before disappearing.
Mal stood and watched the space where he had been. He knew what he was doing was quite cruel to Jayne. But the man slept with his guns, he was loud and brash and just plain foul. Sure he was kinda swai, but that didn’t make up for the fact that he was like a small child himself.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Morning,” Mal said as he walked into the galley and headed to the coffee pot.
“Morning,” Everyone said back, everyone bar Jayne who wasn’t up yet.
“That’s something else I want to talk to you about,” Simon said, “Could you at least attempt to limit your caffeine intake to one cup a day.”
“One cup a day?” Mal asked in horror, “Are you shitting me? It’s my main power source.”
“Yes, well if you ate your protein bars and took your vitamins like I’ve been telling you since I came on board, then you wouldn’t have become as addicted to coffee as you have.”
Mal grumbled under his breath as he leaned forward and stole a bit of toast.
“So,” Kaylee said with a grin, “You’re pregnant.”
“Yup,” Mal said with a slight nod.
“The question is though,” Book began, “To whom?”
“Yeah, I mean is it someone we know?” Kaylee added.
“Considering it was at your wedding, yeah,” Mal said before taking a sip at his coffee, ignoring the looks everyone was giving him, their silence only broken by Jayne’s heavy footfalls as he made his way into the galley.
“Well who then?” Wash asked, getting impatient.
“It don’t matter,” Mal said as he looked up and noticed River flinching slightly, obviously feeling whatever emotions Jayne was having, “We decided that I would raise it on my own.”
“When did you decide this?” Inara asked curiously.
“I waved him last night,” Mal lied, “We talked about it then.”
“So he’s not going to have anything to do with the child?” Book asked.
“No,” Mal said matter of factly as Jayne sat down with his coffee and began helping himself to some food.
Everyone seemed rather put out as they realised that Mal wasn’t about to tell them who the father was. Thankful that they seemed to not want to ask anymore questions, Mal went back to his toast glancing at Zoe as he did so as she had been very quiet. However, she was too busy watching Jayne to notice. Shit. If Jayne didn’t start acting more normal then she was definitely going to figure things out.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Mal was standing at the top of the ramp as their new cargo was loaded up into the bay.
This would be the last job he’d be directly involved in. He, Zoe, Jayne and River had went to do some negotiating, taking River along to introduce her to the contact as she would be standing in for him while he was on ‘maternity leave’ as Simon put it. It had been three weeks since he had found out he was pregnant, and in that time, they had spent it introducing River to all of their contacts, or at least as many of them as they could.
At fourteen weeks, and being quite slim, he was beginning to show, his tummy becoming just a little rounded. Everyone was more than used to the idea now, Kaylee rubbing his stomach and talking to the baby every time he entered a room and everyone else more or less talking about nothing other than the baby. Everyone but Jayne.
He hadn’t spoken a direct word to Mal since their fight in his bunk that night they both found out they were going to be parents, instead spending his time in his bunk drinking himself to sleep. And Mal was more than a little surprised that to find that he missed talking to Jayne, or just sitting down and cleaning their guns together. His presence comforted him and now it was gone and he didn’t know how to make it better. He had tried talking to him when they had left to make their way back to the ship earlier, but Jayne had said he had something to do and had disappeared somewhere. That was just over an hour ago.
“You Captain Reynolds?”
Mal turned to see the local sheriff standing at the bottom of the ramp and looking up at him, “I am,” Mal nodded, “Why do you ask?”
The Sheriff walked up the ramp and handed him a bit of paper. Mal looked down, reading what it said before swearing under his breath, “I’ll kill him,” he said.
“What is it?” Zoe asked as she came over to him.
“Jayne’s gone and got himself arrested for brawling,” Mal said as he handed the paper over to her.
“Not just brawling,” the sheriff said, “He’s put three of the locals in hospital and injured half a dozen more. That fella sure has a lot of anger in him.”
Mal sighed, “Zoe, you stay here and get the cargo on board. I’ll go collect Jayne,” he said as he made to follow the sheriff.
“I’ll come with you,” River said, “You shouldn’t be going on your own.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Mal said, “Especially from someone who is fifteen years my junior.”
“I’m coming with you,” River told him matter of factly, giving him a look that told him he had no choice in it.
Mal gave in to his fate and turned to the sheriff, “Lead the way,” he said.
The sheriff nodded and began walking out of the docks and across the main street to the jailhouse. When they walked in, the sheriff nodded to his deputy before leading Mal through the back to the cell where about five locals were all crammed into, and in the middle of them, was Jayne.
“What the hell did you do?” Mal asked him as he stood with his hands on his hips.
Jayne got up and walked over to the bars shakily as he was beaten up pretty badly, “I was meeting with a contact to get you your ruttin ultrasound machine,” Jayne told him.
“And what, you just decided to beat the crap out of him while you were there?”
“No,” Jayne hissed, “One of the locals overheard our conversation, put two and two together and made a comment about sly folk.”
“Don’t be mad,” River said, “He’s needed to hit something for a few weeks now.”
“You stay out of this,” Mal said to her before turning back to Jayne, “I can’t afford the bail money,” he said.
Jayne’s face fell, “You can’t leave me hear Mal.”
“I wasn’t intending to,” Mal said, “But it means you’ll lose your cut from this next job.”
“How come I have to lose my cut?” Jayne asked, “I’m only in here cause of you. It’s your fault.”
“How’s you beating on the locals my fault?”
“I wouldn’t have been so angry if you hadn’t told me I ain’t allowed to have anythin to do with my baby!” Jayne snapped, making the sheriff and the other occupants of the cell look at Mal in surprise.
Mal bit his lip, not happy that Jayne was talking about this in front of River, but he supposed it was better her, someone who more than likely knew before everyone else that he was pregnant, than say, Zoe.
“Has he had any medical treatment?” River asked the sheriff.
“Uh, no,” the Sheriff told her.
“Then I think perhaps you should lower the bail money as he’s quite clearly injured and you have done nothing to treat him.”
The sheriff blushed, “I suppose I can knock it down a bit,” he said, trying not to let Mal and Jayne’s staring competition get to him. Both men looked like they were trying to make the other’s head explode just by looking at him.
“Thank you,” River said before grabbing Mal, “You go pay the bail,” she said before shoving him in the same direction that the sheriff had went, “It’ll all be okay,” River said to Jayne.
“He ain’t got the right to keep my baby from me,” Jayne said, “All I want is to be a proper father.”
“He’s still in denial about the fact that he is indeed pregnant,” River said, “Once he sees the scan and hears the heartbeat, things will be different.”
Jayne just nodded, trusting what she said as she of all people should know what would happen better than anyone else.
A few minutes later and the sheriff was back letting Jayne out of the cell, “For what it’s worth,” he said, “I know exactly how you’re feeling son. When I divorced my wife, she wouldn’t let me see the kids for near on six months. It nearly killed me.”
Jayne just grunted and let River lead him out of there and to the front desk to collect his belongings. Mal was standing slightly to the side, as the deputy began piling all of Jayne’s weapons up onto the desk. Jayne ignored him as he picked them up and started strapping them back on to his person.
“You done?” Mal asked when he finally slid Binky back into place, “Cause I got a headache comin on.”
“I’m done,” Jayne said with a sharp nod.
Mal didn’t say anything else to that, instead just marching out of there. Jayne growled quietly to himself before he and River walked out after him. When they got back to the ship, Mal didn’t even bother saying anything to anyone as he turned and headed up the stairs to his bunk.
“He has a headache,” River explained, making everyone turn to her and Jayne and gasping at the sight of him.
“What happened?” Simon asked as he rushed forward to see if he was okay.
“Got in a fight,” Jayne snapped as he tried to bat his hands away.
“Let me look at you,” Simon told him.
“I’m fine,” Jayne told him.
“No, you’re not,” Simon said, “You at least need stitches on that eyebrow, and you could do with putting some ice on that whole side of your face. Come on, just let me do my job and then you can get gone.”
“Fine,” Jayne grunted letting Simon lead him towards the medbay, “Oh wait,” he said as he stopped in front of Zoe and fished something out of his pocket, “Here.”
“What’s this?” she asked as she took the crumpled bit of paper off him.
“Contact for one of them ultrasound things. Apparently he can get us one real cheap like.”
“This what you were away doing?” she asked him.
“Yup,” Jayne nodded before turning to go to the medbay.
Zoe watched him closely as he walked away, “Why would Jayne go do something like that?” Wash asked her.
“Could be any number of reasons,” she said before turning back to the cargo, “Let’s get this secured and get off this moon.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
“So,” Zoe said as Kaylee helped Simon install his shiny, new and unused ultrasound machine, “Jayne really came through on this one.”
“That he did,” Mal nodded, staring dead ahead as Simon fiddled about with some buttons.
“Any particular reason why he would go out of his way, getting into a brawl to get you your scanner?”
Mal shrugged, “No idea.”
Zoe turned to face him, keeping her voice low, “I understand why you want to keep it a secret from the others,” she said, “But I’ve known you for over eight years. Would like to think that I’m your best friend and I don’t appreciate bein lied to.”
“What you getting at?” Mal asked, trying to stand his ground.
“I know Jayne’s the father,” she said, “And it don’t rightly matter to me, what does matter though is that I heard him muttering to himself about how it’s about time he left this ‘damn ship’.”
Mal stared at her in surprise, “He’s gonna leave?”
Zoe nodded, “So you gonna tell me why?”
“Guess he just don’t wanna stick around.”
Zoe shook her head, “I can’t believe you’re going to let your pride push the best thing that ever happened to you away.”
Mal scoffed at that, “Jayne? The best thing that ever happened to me?”
“If it weren’t for Jayne, you wouldn’t be pregnant. And trust me, having a child is the best thing that could happen to you.”
Mal turned away from her, “I’ll talk to him,” he said.
“When,” she asked.
“When the time’s right,” he told her before walking off.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Everyone was once again sat in the common area as Mal sat on the examination table, waiting for Simon to scan his stomach.
“What’s goin on?” Jayne asked as he came through, shirt drenched with sweat as he’d just finished a workout.
“Cap’n is having his scan,” Kaylee said, “We’re gonna see the baby.”
“We?” Mal shouted through from the medbay.
“Well you are gonna let us see ain’t ya?” Kaylee asked, turning away from Jayne to give Mal an accusing stare.
Mal rolled his eyes, “Sure,” he said.
Kaylee grinned and sat back down on her seat, “Ain’t ya staying Jayne?” she asked.
Jayne snapped his head away from the medbay where Simon was pulling the machine over and instructing Mal to pull his shirt up, “What?” he asked her.
“You’re just standing there gawpin. Ain’t you gonna stay and wait to see the baby?”
“Nah, I uh… I gotta go for a shower,” he said before storming past them all in locking himself in the shower room.
“Okay, what’s up with him?” Wash asked.
“Who knows,” Inara said with a shrug.
However as the three of them turned back to face the medbay, they missed the knowing look that Zoe shared with River and surprisingly, Book.
“Okay,” Simon said as he pulled the stool over and sat down next to him, “This is going to be cold.”
Mal hissed as Simon squirted some gel onto his stomach, “You ain’t ruttin kiddin,” he said.
But Simon just ignored him as he lowered the probe onto his stomach, “Okay, and there is your baby.”
Mal turned his head to the side, “That’s it?” he asked.
Simon pointed to the bit on the screen where the baby was, “Here’s the head, it’s arms and legs,” he said just as the baby waved one of its arms.
“Wow,” Mal said quietly, completely mesmerised.
Simon smiled at him, “Would you like to know the sex?”
Mal tore his eyes away from the screen to stare at Simon, “You can tell already?” he asked.
“I can,” he nodded.
“Well, um… yeah. Yeah I would,” Mal told him.
“Okay, well you see this here,” Simon said as he pointed to the screen again, “That’s the penis. Congratulations Captain. You’re having a boy.”
Mal felt his jaw drop as he stared at his son, “I’m having a boy?”
Simon nodded, “And by the looks of things, a very healthy one too,” he said before hitting a couple of buttons.
“What’s that?” Mal asked, slightly panicked.
“That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” Simon explained.
Mal sat quietly and listened to his son’s heartbeat as he watched him waving his arms on the screen.
“Can we come in yet?” Kaylee asked from the door.
“Sure,” Mal said, unable to tear his eyes away, “It’s a boy,” he told them dumbly.
Everyone cheered and congratulated him as they crowded round the bed to see the baby. However as they all stood and watched, none of them noticed the solemn figure of Jayne standing at the window before he turned and disappeared up the stairs.
River however flinched slightly as she felt the wave of emotion come off of Jayne. There was a mixture or pride, love, heartbreak and anguish all rolled into one and they were so overwhelming that it completely encompassed all of the other emotions in the room.
“River, are you okay?” Book asked her as she swayed slightly.
“Yes, fine,” she said with a smile, “Congratulations Captain. He looks like his father.”
Mal turned and stared at her before finally looking at the rest of the room, noticing for the first time that Jayne wasn’t there. And that for some reason, made his heart sink slightly, the euphoria he had been feeling seeping away.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Checking that there was no one around, Jayne snuck into the medbay. It was the dead of night and everyone was in bed or at least they should be. Jayne just hoped that no one decided to go for a midnight stroll as he wasn’t sure he’d be able to explain what he was doing here.
He closed the doors behind him and turned on the ultrasound scanner. Hitting the recent files button he opened up the one and only scan file in there and hit play. As he watched his son on the screen he felt his legs give way and he slumped down onto the stool behind him.
He sat and watched the entire twenty minutes of the scan, tears falling freely from his face before he pulled out the data chip he had in his pocket. As fast as he could, he wiped the tears from his eyes and saved the file onto the disc.
“What are you doing?”
Jayne looked up to see Simon standing in the doorway, “Ain’t doin nothin,” Jayne said as he pulled out the disc, pocketed it and turned the scanner off.
“Really?” Simon asked him, frowning slightly as Jayne rubbed at his wet eyes again.
“Why don’t you mind your own gorram business for a change,” Jayne said before pushing past him and out of the door.
Simon watched him go, wondering just what the hell Jayne had been up to and why was he crying at Mal’s scan… unless…. Simon spun to see if Jayne was still there. But he was long gone. He’d corner him tomorrow, find out exactly what was going on.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Mal was last to breakfast and as was his usual went to pour himself a cup of coffee, his one and only cup for the day. But as he sat down, he realised that Jayne was missing.
“He’s unconscious,” River told him.
“Who’s unconscious?” Simon asked worriedly.
“Jayne,” River explained, “It’s alcohol induced.”
Mal sighed, “Well so long as he keeps it in his bunk and out of our way, then best leave him to it.”
Everyone turned to stare at him, a bit surprised at his reaction as usually he would bitch and moan about Jayne acting in such a way. And although he’d been getting drunk more than usual lately, he’d not missed breakfast. But this… it was like he’d been expecting it.
“Maybe I should go check on him anyway,” Simon said as he stood, “He could’ve hurt his head or broke something or God forbid, choked on his own vomit,”
“He’s not in his bunk,” River said.
“Where is he?” Kaylee asked her.
River glanced at Mal before answering her, “Spare shuttle,” she told her before looking back at Mal for his reaction.
But Mal just looked down at his coffee, not entirely sure how to act. It was quite clear that Jayne was upset and it was all his fault. But if the man wasn’t conscious or sober then how could he talk to him. He wanted to talk to him. Maybe re-think their arrangement. When he’d lay there and watched their baby waving his arms around, and then hearing his heartbeat, it was all of a sudden very real and he wanted nothing more than to have Jayne there with him.
“I’ll go check he’s alright then,” Simon said as he headed out the other way.
“I’ll go get your bag,” Kaylee said as she headed towards their bunk.
“I might need a hand moving him,” Simon said just before he headed out the door.
“Say no more,” Wash said as he stood, “I have large muscles and can lift many heavy things.”
Simon just rolled his eyes at him before leading him out and towards the spare shuttle.
“You should go too,” River said to Mal.
“Should I?” Mal asked her, daring her to say outright what she was thinking.
“Yes,” she said bluntly before standing up and making her way up to the bridge.
“I agree,” Zoe said as she folded her arms across her chest.
Mal huffed and set his coffee down on the table before standing up, “Fine,” he said.
“What is going on?” Inara asked Zoe as Mal brushed past her, “Where is everyone?”
“Jayne’s passed out in the spare shuttle,” Kaylee said as she ran past.
Inara just turned and looked at Zoe and Book for a further explanation, “Come on,” Zoe said, “All will be revealed.”
Inara about turned and followed Zoe and Book out towards the spare shuttle. They just managed to squeeze in and watch as Simon attempted to wake Jayne up.
“Jayne,” he said as he gave his face a soft tap, “Jayne can you hear me?”
Jayne’s eyes fluttered slightly as if he was trying to open them and he mumbled something. Sighing, Simon took his bag off of Kaylee and pulled a syringe out of it.
“Help me turn him over,” he said to Wash.
“What you plannin on doin there Doc?” Mal asked as he stood watching over them.
“This has to be administered deep into the intra muscular layer,” Simon explained as he held up the syringe that now had a large needle on it.
“Meaning?”
“It has to go into his butt or his thigh,” he said as he pulled down Jayne’s pants to expose the top part of his buttocks and then stabbed the needle in.
Jayne didn’t even flinch, showing them all exactly how drunk he was as he usually screamed just at the sight of needles.
“He’s going to wake up in a second,” Simon said, pulling his pants back up, “I need to put him in the recovery position. Here, take these,” he said to Mal as he took the almost empty bottle of liquor out of Jayne’s left hand and a capture out of his right. Then he and Wash turned Jayne back over again, putting him in the recovery position.
As they waited for Jayne to come round, Mal stared down at the capture. Curious to see what was on it, and just why Jayne had been clinging to it, he hit play.
“What is it?” Kaylee asked.
“The baby,” Mal said quietly, realising for the first time, just how much his decision to have this child on his own had been destroying Jayne.
“Why would Jayne have a capture of your baby?” Inara asked.
But Mal didn’t answer, instead crouching down beside Jayne, as he started to wake up.
“Mal?” Jayne asked groggily, recognising his boots.
“Yeah Jayne, it’s me,” Mal said, “How you feelin?”
“Like shit. Where am I?” he asked as he tried to sit up, but Mal put a hand on his shoulder pushing him back down.
“You’re in the spare shuttle, drank yourself unconscious.”
Jayne frowned as he tried to remember before his head snapped up, “Where’s my capture?” he asked frantically searching the floor beside him for it.
“I got it here,” Mal said, handing it back to him.
Jayne took the capture and looked up at Mal nervously, waiting for him to start shouting and telling him that he had no right to have it.
“Will y’all give us a minute?” Mal asked, not breaking his eye contact with Jayne.
Simon stood, his suspicions from the night before being confirmed and began to escort the rest of them out while Zoe smiled softly to herself. When they were gone, Mal helped Jayne sit up, propping him against the hull before sitting next to him.
“You wanna tell me why you got so drunk you passed out in my shuttle?” Mal asked him.
Jayne shrugged, “Needed to forget for a while,” he said.
“Forget what?”
“The pain,” Jayne told him, “This whole thing is killing me Mal. I can’t stay here and just pretend. He’s as much my son as he is yours.”
Mal nodded, “I know,” he said with a sigh, “I’ve been a right liu kuoshui de biaozi he houzi de ben erzi with all of this.”
Jayne didn’t say anything, just stared down at the blank screen of the capture.
“Zoe said she heard you talking to yourself about leavin,” Mal said, “That true? You gonna leave?”
Jayne sighed, “I dunno. It’s just… it hurts so gorram much already, what’s it gonna be like when he’s born? But then, I don’t want to not be here for him, y’know?”
Mal nodded, “Yeah I know. And I don’t want you to leave,” he said taking hold of Jayne’s hand, “Boys are a lot to handle. I’m gonna need all the help I can get.”
Jayne snapped his head up to stare at Mal, “Are you serious? You want me to be a part of his life?”
“Well yeah. It were stupid and mean of me to try and stop you from being there. But, seeing the way you’ve been lately, I think you’d be a great Pa. And the baby needs you. I need you.”
Jayne smiled before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Mal’s lips, “Thank you,” he said, “And I swear I’ll be a great Pa. I’ll be there for you and Jayne Junior all the way,” he said as he jumped up, grabbing at his sore head slightly.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Mal said as he too stood up, “Jayne Junior?
“What’s wrong with Jayne?”
“Nothin,” Mal said, not wanting to upset him anymore, “I just… I think it’s something we should thoroughly talk about before we make any decisions.”
“My Pa was called Jayne, as was his Pa and his Pa before that. It’s tradition,” Jayne told him.
Mal bit his lip, “How about we go get some breakfast and talk about this later,” he suggested as he put a hand on Jayne’s arm, realising that his child would probably end up being called Jayne.
When they stepped out of the shuttle, the others were nowhere to be seen, obviously having headed back to their breakfast.
“How are you feeling?” Simon asked Jayne when he stepped into the galley.
“Just shiny Doc,” Jayne said, “How are you feeling?”
“You talked to him then?” River asked Mal as she sat back down in her seat.
“Yes,” Mal said, going to get a fresh cup of coffee since his other one was all cold.
“Can someone, please tell me what’s going on?” Kaylee asked, although she had a good idea.
“Jayne’s the father of the baby,” Mal told her, making Wash spit his coffee out in surprise.
“Jayne?” he asked.
“What’s so wrong with that?” Jayne asked him with a frown.
“Nothing, I just… I had no idea you liked men that way.”
Jayne shrugged, “I’m not fussy. Take it where ever I can.”
“That’s so romantic,” Zoe smiled.
“Romance had nothing to do with it,” Mal said as he sat back down, “Kind of why I told Jayne he was to have nothing to do with the baby.”
“But you’ve changed your mind now I hope,” Book said.
Mal sighed and smiled at Jayne, “Yeah. Jayne Junior is gonna have his Daddy and his Pa there for him always.”
Jayne beamed at Mal, ignoring the sputtered ‘Jayne Junior’ from Wash who was giggling like a mad man.
“Well, maybe romance didn’t have nothin to do with conceivin little JJ, but maybe it can play at part now,” Kaylee said with a small smile.
Mal tilted his head in thought, “JJ, I like that,” he said, completely ignoring the part about romance. But Jayne had heard her, and he hadn’t been able to stop his eyes from shining in excitement at the thought.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Mal was just stripping off, getting ready for bed when his hatch door was kicked open. Shirtless and pants half way off he spun to see Jayne’s legs descending into his bunk.
“Jayne?” he asked, “What you doin down here?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” Jayne said, closing the hatch door.
Mal raised an eyebrow at him before sitting down on his bed, “Talk away then,” he said.
Jayne, instead of sitting down on the chair like he had the last time he’d been down there, sat down on the bed next to Mal.
“Somethin Kaylee said got me thinkin,” he said, “I don’t want our baby thinkin that we never wanted him. That he was just a big mistake. Cause trust me, it ain’t a nice feelin.”
“He won’t though,” Mal said, “I mean why would he think that?”
“Parents are usually lovin couples, sharing a bed and a room, even getting married…”
“You better not be proposing,” Mal said to him.
“I ain’t proposing,” Jayne told him with a sigh, leaving out the ‘not yet anyway’, “I just, I don’t know how to say it, so I’m gonna just do it.”
Mal frowned at him and was about to ask what ‘it’ was when Jayne leaned forward and placed the softest of kisses on his lips.
“What was that?” Mal asked him when he pulled away.
“You’re carrying my baby,” Jayne said, placing his strong hand on Mal’s bump before leaning forward and placing another kiss on Mal’s lips, “Apart from JJ,” he added, kissing along his jaw, “You’re the most important person in my life.”
Mal, whose head was tilted back to allow Jayne to kiss his neck, struggled to get his words out, “Okay,” he said huskily, “But why… why all the kissin? Not that I’m complainin mind.”
Jayne pulled back to look at Mal, “I want to be with you Mal. If you’ll have me that is.”
Mal stared into Jayne’s big blue eyes that were pleading with him, and well, he’d hurt Jayne enough. He couldn’t hurt him anymore, and so he cupped Jayne’s face in his hand and pulled him back towards him for a deep, slow and passionate kiss.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Jayne stood at the top of the bed, holding Mal’s hand, their wedding bands shining in the bright light as Simon, with Inara, Zoe and River assisting him, began the caesarean section.
“Okay Mal?”
“Yeah,” Mal said dopily, drugged up to the eyeballs, “Just shiny.”
Jayne bent down and placed a kiss on his head, “Won’t be long now,” he said quietly.
And he was right. Within seconds of Simon making the first incision, the air was filled with the sound of little JJ (or not so little as Zoe announced that he weighed ten pounds eight ounces) crying.
Zoe and Inara concentrated on cleaning him up, while River and Simon finished stitching up Mal.
“Is he okay?” Mal asked Jayne, “Can you see anything?”
“He’s got long legs,” Jayne said, “Can’t see much more but he sounds fine anyways,” he said, stroking Mal’s head lovingly.
By the time River and Simon had finished with Mal, Zoe and Inara had finished with JJ. Simon propped Mal up in the bed slightly, careful not to strain him so he didn’t pull any stitches and then Zoe came over with the baby.
“Sir, Jayne,” she said, “I’d like to introduce you to Jayne Reynolds.”
After agreeing that the baby would be named after Jayne, it was decided that he would take Mal’s surname. Which in retrospect didn’t really matter as Jayne took Mal’s name when they married anyway.
Mal smiled as Zoe handed JJ over, his eyes welling up at the sight of him, “He’s beautiful,” he said before smiling up at Jayne.
Jayne leaned down and kissed Mal before placing a kiss on JJ’s head, “Looks like he’s gonna be built like a Cobb,” Jayne said.
“I’m just glad I didn’t have to squeeze him out,” Mal smiled as Jayne leaned down and picked him up.
Mal lay and watched as Jayne cradled him gently. And really, for as big as JJ was, seeing Jayne hold him made him look so tiny.
Reaching out, Mal took hold of Jayne’s free hand, “I love you, you know that?” Mal said.
Jayne smiled, “I love you too,” he said, “Both of you.”
The End
CHINESE
Hundan - bastard
Shenme - excuse me/what?
Renci de Fouzu - merciful Buddha
Schi - shit
Swai - handsome
liu kuoshui de biaozi he houzi de ben erzi - stupid son of a drooling whore and a monkey
Author: Ru_salki99
Rating: R
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or rights to Firefly. It all belongs to Mutant Enemy.
Author's notes: This was born from a conversation between myself and little_dumlping and so I dedicate it to you my lovely.
Warning: MPREG and Fluffiness.
Summary: After suffering from painful migraines, Mal goes to Simon for help only to be given an unexpected diagnosis.
thanks to michony for icon.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“So what’s the verdict Doc?” Mal asked as he lay on the bed with a hand over his eyes, “Why the hell am I gettin’ these hundan migraines?”
Simon bit his lip as he chose his words carefully, “I can’t find anything conclusive… yet,” he said.
“What do you mean yet?” Mal asked as he turned to look at him and then immediately regretted it as he was hit with another dizzy spell.
Simon walked over to the window and closed the blinds to hide them from the view of the others sitting outside, all of them concerned about their captain. When he walked back over to Mal, he sat down on the stool next to the bed, making sure to make himself seem less aggressive and in turn hopefully making Mal more comfortable.
“I’m going to ask you something personal and I don’t want you to get offended,” he began, thankful that Mal wasn’t wearing his gun, “But as your doctor, it’s something I need to know to determine what tests to do next.”
“Okay,” Mal said sceptically, “What’s the question?”
Taking a deep breath, Simon decided to just ask it and get it over with, “Mal, are you sly?”
“Shenme?” Mal asked as he dropped his hand away from his eyes to stare at Simon, “What the ruttin hell has that got to do with anything?”
“I’ll take that as a yes then,” Simon said as he slid across the floor to pull some sort of contraption out of a drawer, “And it has a lot to do with these migraines if you have what I think you do. Say ‘ah’,” he added as he stood and held up the contraption.
“Aahh,” Mal said, allowing Simon to swab the inside of his cheek, “What is that?” Mal asked him.
Simon sat back down to wait for the white blinking light to either turn red or blue, he hoped it turned blue, he wasn’t sure he would know what to do if it turned red.
“Doc? You hear me?” Mal snapped.
“I heard you,” Simon said, “But I’m ignoring you until I get the results of this test… oh Renci de Fouzu!” he said with a sigh as the light turned red.
“What?” Mal asked, getting really worried now.
“Mal when was the last time you had sex?” Simon asked him as he stood and put the test on the worktop.
“Why?” Mal asked him with a scowl.
“Because Mal, you’re pregnant,” Simon told him, “And the migraines are just one of the many things that pregnant people get. Have you been having any morning sickness? Tenderness around the nipples? Have you been suffering from fatigue, back ache? Have you been needing to urinate more often…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Mal said as he sat up and swung his legs off the bed, “Slow the hell down. I am not pregnant.”
Simon just stared at him in disbelief.
“Okay, maybe I might have had some of those things, but that does not make me pregnant. I can’t be, I mean the last time I had sex was… unless… schi.”
Simon jumped forward and caught Mal before he fell to the floor. He perched him up against the cupboards and crouched down beside him, “I take it that it was a one night stand then.”
“Something like that,” Mal said, “Was at your wedding,” he added.
Simon quickly did the math in his head, “So you’re eleven weeks,” he said, “Wow, I’m surprised we didn’t find out sooner.”
“I’ve been having these for a while,” he explained, “Maybe a month,” he added as he closed his eyes, the light really hurting his head now, “So can I take anything for the pain or do I got to suffer?”
“Uh, no. I can give you something for it,” Simon said as he stood, “But it’s the only thing you can take just now apart from vitamins, which I need you to actually take now and not just pretend that you are,” he added as he gave him a small cup of water and a couple of tablets.
“Thanks,” Mal said as he handed him back the cup.
“So what about those other symptoms?” Simon asked him as he gave him a supply of pain killers and the correct vitamins he needed, “Do you need anything for morning sickness?”
“No, I’ve not really been that bad with that. Only been sick a couple of times. Guess I’m making up for it with these migraines.”
Simon nodded and before offering his hand to help Mal up off the floor, “Well, I suggest that you go lie down for a while,” he told him, “You’re going to have to take things easy from now on, that is, if you’re keeping it.”
“I’m not getting an abortion,” Mal told him flatly.
Simon nodded, he had thought as much, “Right, well plenty of rest, no strenuous exercise, and that includes going out on jobs. Zoe will have to take over for you until the baby is born. If you get shot well, do I really need to tell you what could happen.”
“No I get it,” Mal said with a sigh before frowning at Simon, “Don’t you need to do scans and stuff?”
“I don’t have the correct equipment I’m afraid,” Simon said, “We’ll need to try and acquire some.”
“Okay,” he nodded, “I guess I’ll go lie down now,” he added as he made his way to the door, “Could you uh… could you tell them. I don’t think I could face it.”
Simon nodded, “Of course,” he said, “What about the father?” he asked him just before he opened the door.
“What about him?”
“Will you be telling him?” Simon asked.
“He’ll find out,” Mal nodded, before opening the door and walking past his entire crew.
“What’s going on?” Kaylee asked Simon, “Is he okay?”
“We’re going to be getting a new crew member,” Simon told them all, making them frown in confusion, “Mal’s pregnant.”
Wash was the first to react, bursting into laughter, “Yeah right, nice one Simon.”
“No really,” Simon said as he leaned up against the doorframe, “He’s eleven weeks.”
“Eleven weeks?” Kaylee squealed, “He had sex with someone at our wedding?”
“Apparently,” Simon said with a shrug.
“But, if he’s pregnant, wouldn’t that make him sly?” Inara asked in confusion.
“He’s leuen,” Zoe said matter of factly before turning to Simon, “Did he tell you who the father was?”
“No,” Simon told her, “It’s not my place to ask. I’m just here to make sure he and the baby remain healthy,” he explained.
“What about the headaches?” Book asked, “Were you able to give him something for them?”
“Yes, so long as he takes them in moderation he should be fine. However, we are going to have to find us an ultrasound machine,” he told them, “As well a few other things that he’ll need.”
“Well,” Zoe said as she stood, “Me and Wash can start shopping around.”
“Uh yeah,” Wash said standing with her, still giggling slightly, “We should get right on that.”
“It’s not funny,” River said, making him sober up immediately, “It’s beautiful. Two bodies connected in passion, their bodies moving together in perfect timing to create a new life,” she explained with a dreamy smile.
“You know you can’t talk like that around a baby,” Jayne told her, “It’s not ‘proppriate.”
River stared right at him, “Then you had best wash your mouth out too,” she said before getting up and walking away to her room.
“Whatever,” Jayne said as he stood, “I’ll be in my bunk.”
“Well that was just creepy,” Wash said as the two of them left them in silence.
“I’m inclined to agree,” Simon said with a smile before going back into the bay to clean up and write a list of the things they needed.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Jayne crept up his ladders, checking to make sure that all the other hatch doors were shut first before he made his way out into the corridor. He then checked the bridge to make sure no one was up there, unfortunately though, River was.
“Everyone else is sleeping,” she said as she spun in her seat to look up at him, “Everyone but the captain. He’s waiting for you.”
“Right,” Jayne nodded before back tracking and heading down the corridor to Mal’s bunk. He took a deep breath before gently pushing it open, “Mal?” he hissed, “You awake?”
Mal appeared at the bottom of the ladder, “Figured I’d be seeing you,” he said as he disappeared again.
Jayne took that as a sign that he was allowed in and began to climb down the ladders, “So uh,” he said when he reached the bottom, “How you feelin?”
“Just dandy Jayne, thanks for asking,” Mal said sarcastically as he sat down on his bed.
Jayne sighed and pulled over Mal’s desk chair to sit on, “I meant your headaches,” Jayne told him, “But if you’re gonna be all grumpy about it…”
“Headache’s fine Jayne,” Mal said with a sigh, “Still there, but it’s dulled to the point where it’s bearable.”
Jayne nodded, “So,” he said before clearing his throat, “What are we, what are we going to do about it?”
“We?” Mal asked in confusion.
“Well I am the father,” Jayne said, “Ain’t I?”
“Yeah, you are that,” Mal said as he looked down at the floor.
Eleven Weeks Earlier
“You sure about this?” Jayne asked as he pulled at Mal’s shirt, untucking it from his pants.
“Just shut up and fuck me Jayne,” Mal said as he began to pull at Jayne’s belt.
That was all the telling Jayne needed as he burst open Mal’s shirt, making the buttons go everywhere.
They had been sitting at a table on their own as everyone else danced and rejoiced at Kaylee and Simon’s wedding. They had found themselves alone, drunk and horny and well, one lewd comment led to a proposition, which then led to Jayne bending Mal over a stack of sacks of horse feed as he fucked him.
Jayne gripped at Mal’s hip with one hand while he gently stroked his other up that smooth back. He had always wanted to fuck Mal, but had never actually thought it would happen. As he pummelled into him, he noticed that Mal had propped himself up on an elbow as he pleasured himself. Jayne let his free hand fall from Mal’s back and reached round to his front, taking over for him. Mal then pushed himself up on both hands and began to push his body back to meet every one of Jayne’s thrusts with his own.
It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t mind blowing or particularly memorable. It wasn’t that it was bad, but it was a drunken screw, in a barn at their crewmate’s wedding. They didn’t kiss, they didn’t participate in any foreplay, it was simply, clothes off, bend over, spit on the hand and in Jayne went.
It had been painful. There was no denying that. But it had been just what Mal had needed, just what the both of them needed. However, it seemed that in their drunken haste to get off, they had forgot about using protection, it being the last thing on either of their mind.
Eleven Weeks Later
“So what are we going to do?” Jayne asked again, “I mean, the others will need to know.”
“I ain’t telling them I let you of all people fuck me,” Mal said.
“Well, I think they’ll figure it out when the baby start’s calling me Pa,” Jayne said.
“It ain’t calling you that,” Mal told him, “You can just be Uncle Jayne.”
Jayne looked like he had been slapped, “Uncle Jayne?” he asked quietly, “What are you saying Mal?”
Mal sighed and looked at him, “I want to do this on my own,” he said, “I think it would be best.”
“You can’t just decide that you don’t want me to be a part of this, cause I already am,” Jayne snapped, kicking the chair over as he stood up.
“Well you ain’t exactly parent material Jayne,” Mal snapped back as he stood.
“Right, I get it. You think I’m just an uneducated fool. That I don’t have the first idea about how to raise a child that I’m… what’s the word… uncouth!”
“I don’t think you’re uncouth Jayne,” Mal said, “I just, we’re not a couple, it was a one time thing and I think it would be best off for everyone involved if you just took a back seat in all of this.”
Jayne put his hands on his hips, studying Mal for a moment before accepting his fate, “Fine,” he said as he turned to climb up the ladder, “But think about how you would feel if it was me who was pregnant and telling you that you weren’t allowed to have anythin to do with your own child,” he told him before disappearing.
Mal stood and watched the space where he had been. He knew what he was doing was quite cruel to Jayne. But the man slept with his guns, he was loud and brash and just plain foul. Sure he was kinda swai, but that didn’t make up for the fact that he was like a small child himself.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Morning,” Mal said as he walked into the galley and headed to the coffee pot.
“Morning,” Everyone said back, everyone bar Jayne who wasn’t up yet.
“That’s something else I want to talk to you about,” Simon said, “Could you at least attempt to limit your caffeine intake to one cup a day.”
“One cup a day?” Mal asked in horror, “Are you shitting me? It’s my main power source.”
“Yes, well if you ate your protein bars and took your vitamins like I’ve been telling you since I came on board, then you wouldn’t have become as addicted to coffee as you have.”
Mal grumbled under his breath as he leaned forward and stole a bit of toast.
“So,” Kaylee said with a grin, “You’re pregnant.”
“Yup,” Mal said with a slight nod.
“The question is though,” Book began, “To whom?”
“Yeah, I mean is it someone we know?” Kaylee added.
“Considering it was at your wedding, yeah,” Mal said before taking a sip at his coffee, ignoring the looks everyone was giving him, their silence only broken by Jayne’s heavy footfalls as he made his way into the galley.
“Well who then?” Wash asked, getting impatient.
“It don’t matter,” Mal said as he looked up and noticed River flinching slightly, obviously feeling whatever emotions Jayne was having, “We decided that I would raise it on my own.”
“When did you decide this?” Inara asked curiously.
“I waved him last night,” Mal lied, “We talked about it then.”
“So he’s not going to have anything to do with the child?” Book asked.
“No,” Mal said matter of factly as Jayne sat down with his coffee and began helping himself to some food.
Everyone seemed rather put out as they realised that Mal wasn’t about to tell them who the father was. Thankful that they seemed to not want to ask anymore questions, Mal went back to his toast glancing at Zoe as he did so as she had been very quiet. However, she was too busy watching Jayne to notice. Shit. If Jayne didn’t start acting more normal then she was definitely going to figure things out.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Mal was standing at the top of the ramp as their new cargo was loaded up into the bay.
This would be the last job he’d be directly involved in. He, Zoe, Jayne and River had went to do some negotiating, taking River along to introduce her to the contact as she would be standing in for him while he was on ‘maternity leave’ as Simon put it. It had been three weeks since he had found out he was pregnant, and in that time, they had spent it introducing River to all of their contacts, or at least as many of them as they could.
At fourteen weeks, and being quite slim, he was beginning to show, his tummy becoming just a little rounded. Everyone was more than used to the idea now, Kaylee rubbing his stomach and talking to the baby every time he entered a room and everyone else more or less talking about nothing other than the baby. Everyone but Jayne.
He hadn’t spoken a direct word to Mal since their fight in his bunk that night they both found out they were going to be parents, instead spending his time in his bunk drinking himself to sleep. And Mal was more than a little surprised that to find that he missed talking to Jayne, or just sitting down and cleaning their guns together. His presence comforted him and now it was gone and he didn’t know how to make it better. He had tried talking to him when they had left to make their way back to the ship earlier, but Jayne had said he had something to do and had disappeared somewhere. That was just over an hour ago.
“You Captain Reynolds?”
Mal turned to see the local sheriff standing at the bottom of the ramp and looking up at him, “I am,” Mal nodded, “Why do you ask?”
The Sheriff walked up the ramp and handed him a bit of paper. Mal looked down, reading what it said before swearing under his breath, “I’ll kill him,” he said.
“What is it?” Zoe asked as she came over to him.
“Jayne’s gone and got himself arrested for brawling,” Mal said as he handed the paper over to her.
“Not just brawling,” the sheriff said, “He’s put three of the locals in hospital and injured half a dozen more. That fella sure has a lot of anger in him.”
Mal sighed, “Zoe, you stay here and get the cargo on board. I’ll go collect Jayne,” he said as he made to follow the sheriff.
“I’ll come with you,” River said, “You shouldn’t be going on your own.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Mal said, “Especially from someone who is fifteen years my junior.”
“I’m coming with you,” River told him matter of factly, giving him a look that told him he had no choice in it.
Mal gave in to his fate and turned to the sheriff, “Lead the way,” he said.
The sheriff nodded and began walking out of the docks and across the main street to the jailhouse. When they walked in, the sheriff nodded to his deputy before leading Mal through the back to the cell where about five locals were all crammed into, and in the middle of them, was Jayne.
“What the hell did you do?” Mal asked him as he stood with his hands on his hips.
Jayne got up and walked over to the bars shakily as he was beaten up pretty badly, “I was meeting with a contact to get you your ruttin ultrasound machine,” Jayne told him.
“And what, you just decided to beat the crap out of him while you were there?”
“No,” Jayne hissed, “One of the locals overheard our conversation, put two and two together and made a comment about sly folk.”
“Don’t be mad,” River said, “He’s needed to hit something for a few weeks now.”
“You stay out of this,” Mal said to her before turning back to Jayne, “I can’t afford the bail money,” he said.
Jayne’s face fell, “You can’t leave me hear Mal.”
“I wasn’t intending to,” Mal said, “But it means you’ll lose your cut from this next job.”
“How come I have to lose my cut?” Jayne asked, “I’m only in here cause of you. It’s your fault.”
“How’s you beating on the locals my fault?”
“I wouldn’t have been so angry if you hadn’t told me I ain’t allowed to have anythin to do with my baby!” Jayne snapped, making the sheriff and the other occupants of the cell look at Mal in surprise.
Mal bit his lip, not happy that Jayne was talking about this in front of River, but he supposed it was better her, someone who more than likely knew before everyone else that he was pregnant, than say, Zoe.
“Has he had any medical treatment?” River asked the sheriff.
“Uh, no,” the Sheriff told her.
“Then I think perhaps you should lower the bail money as he’s quite clearly injured and you have done nothing to treat him.”
The sheriff blushed, “I suppose I can knock it down a bit,” he said, trying not to let Mal and Jayne’s staring competition get to him. Both men looked like they were trying to make the other’s head explode just by looking at him.
“Thank you,” River said before grabbing Mal, “You go pay the bail,” she said before shoving him in the same direction that the sheriff had went, “It’ll all be okay,” River said to Jayne.
“He ain’t got the right to keep my baby from me,” Jayne said, “All I want is to be a proper father.”
“He’s still in denial about the fact that he is indeed pregnant,” River said, “Once he sees the scan and hears the heartbeat, things will be different.”
Jayne just nodded, trusting what she said as she of all people should know what would happen better than anyone else.
A few minutes later and the sheriff was back letting Jayne out of the cell, “For what it’s worth,” he said, “I know exactly how you’re feeling son. When I divorced my wife, she wouldn’t let me see the kids for near on six months. It nearly killed me.”
Jayne just grunted and let River lead him out of there and to the front desk to collect his belongings. Mal was standing slightly to the side, as the deputy began piling all of Jayne’s weapons up onto the desk. Jayne ignored him as he picked them up and started strapping them back on to his person.
“You done?” Mal asked when he finally slid Binky back into place, “Cause I got a headache comin on.”
“I’m done,” Jayne said with a sharp nod.
Mal didn’t say anything else to that, instead just marching out of there. Jayne growled quietly to himself before he and River walked out after him. When they got back to the ship, Mal didn’t even bother saying anything to anyone as he turned and headed up the stairs to his bunk.
“He has a headache,” River explained, making everyone turn to her and Jayne and gasping at the sight of him.
“What happened?” Simon asked as he rushed forward to see if he was okay.
“Got in a fight,” Jayne snapped as he tried to bat his hands away.
“Let me look at you,” Simon told him.
“I’m fine,” Jayne told him.
“No, you’re not,” Simon said, “You at least need stitches on that eyebrow, and you could do with putting some ice on that whole side of your face. Come on, just let me do my job and then you can get gone.”
“Fine,” Jayne grunted letting Simon lead him towards the medbay, “Oh wait,” he said as he stopped in front of Zoe and fished something out of his pocket, “Here.”
“What’s this?” she asked as she took the crumpled bit of paper off him.
“Contact for one of them ultrasound things. Apparently he can get us one real cheap like.”
“This what you were away doing?” she asked him.
“Yup,” Jayne nodded before turning to go to the medbay.
Zoe watched him closely as he walked away, “Why would Jayne go do something like that?” Wash asked her.
“Could be any number of reasons,” she said before turning back to the cargo, “Let’s get this secured and get off this moon.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
“So,” Zoe said as Kaylee helped Simon install his shiny, new and unused ultrasound machine, “Jayne really came through on this one.”
“That he did,” Mal nodded, staring dead ahead as Simon fiddled about with some buttons.
“Any particular reason why he would go out of his way, getting into a brawl to get you your scanner?”
Mal shrugged, “No idea.”
Zoe turned to face him, keeping her voice low, “I understand why you want to keep it a secret from the others,” she said, “But I’ve known you for over eight years. Would like to think that I’m your best friend and I don’t appreciate bein lied to.”
“What you getting at?” Mal asked, trying to stand his ground.
“I know Jayne’s the father,” she said, “And it don’t rightly matter to me, what does matter though is that I heard him muttering to himself about how it’s about time he left this ‘damn ship’.”
Mal stared at her in surprise, “He’s gonna leave?”
Zoe nodded, “So you gonna tell me why?”
“Guess he just don’t wanna stick around.”
Zoe shook her head, “I can’t believe you’re going to let your pride push the best thing that ever happened to you away.”
Mal scoffed at that, “Jayne? The best thing that ever happened to me?”
“If it weren’t for Jayne, you wouldn’t be pregnant. And trust me, having a child is the best thing that could happen to you.”
Mal turned away from her, “I’ll talk to him,” he said.
“When,” she asked.
“When the time’s right,” he told her before walking off.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Everyone was once again sat in the common area as Mal sat on the examination table, waiting for Simon to scan his stomach.
“What’s goin on?” Jayne asked as he came through, shirt drenched with sweat as he’d just finished a workout.
“Cap’n is having his scan,” Kaylee said, “We’re gonna see the baby.”
“We?” Mal shouted through from the medbay.
“Well you are gonna let us see ain’t ya?” Kaylee asked, turning away from Jayne to give Mal an accusing stare.
Mal rolled his eyes, “Sure,” he said.
Kaylee grinned and sat back down on her seat, “Ain’t ya staying Jayne?” she asked.
Jayne snapped his head away from the medbay where Simon was pulling the machine over and instructing Mal to pull his shirt up, “What?” he asked her.
“You’re just standing there gawpin. Ain’t you gonna stay and wait to see the baby?”
“Nah, I uh… I gotta go for a shower,” he said before storming past them all in locking himself in the shower room.
“Okay, what’s up with him?” Wash asked.
“Who knows,” Inara said with a shrug.
However as the three of them turned back to face the medbay, they missed the knowing look that Zoe shared with River and surprisingly, Book.
“Okay,” Simon said as he pulled the stool over and sat down next to him, “This is going to be cold.”
Mal hissed as Simon squirted some gel onto his stomach, “You ain’t ruttin kiddin,” he said.
But Simon just ignored him as he lowered the probe onto his stomach, “Okay, and there is your baby.”
Mal turned his head to the side, “That’s it?” he asked.
Simon pointed to the bit on the screen where the baby was, “Here’s the head, it’s arms and legs,” he said just as the baby waved one of its arms.
“Wow,” Mal said quietly, completely mesmerised.
Simon smiled at him, “Would you like to know the sex?”
Mal tore his eyes away from the screen to stare at Simon, “You can tell already?” he asked.
“I can,” he nodded.
“Well, um… yeah. Yeah I would,” Mal told him.
“Okay, well you see this here,” Simon said as he pointed to the screen again, “That’s the penis. Congratulations Captain. You’re having a boy.”
Mal felt his jaw drop as he stared at his son, “I’m having a boy?”
Simon nodded, “And by the looks of things, a very healthy one too,” he said before hitting a couple of buttons.
“What’s that?” Mal asked, slightly panicked.
“That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” Simon explained.
Mal sat quietly and listened to his son’s heartbeat as he watched him waving his arms on the screen.
“Can we come in yet?” Kaylee asked from the door.
“Sure,” Mal said, unable to tear his eyes away, “It’s a boy,” he told them dumbly.
Everyone cheered and congratulated him as they crowded round the bed to see the baby. However as they all stood and watched, none of them noticed the solemn figure of Jayne standing at the window before he turned and disappeared up the stairs.
River however flinched slightly as she felt the wave of emotion come off of Jayne. There was a mixture or pride, love, heartbreak and anguish all rolled into one and they were so overwhelming that it completely encompassed all of the other emotions in the room.
“River, are you okay?” Book asked her as she swayed slightly.
“Yes, fine,” she said with a smile, “Congratulations Captain. He looks like his father.”
Mal turned and stared at her before finally looking at the rest of the room, noticing for the first time that Jayne wasn’t there. And that for some reason, made his heart sink slightly, the euphoria he had been feeling seeping away.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Checking that there was no one around, Jayne snuck into the medbay. It was the dead of night and everyone was in bed or at least they should be. Jayne just hoped that no one decided to go for a midnight stroll as he wasn’t sure he’d be able to explain what he was doing here.
He closed the doors behind him and turned on the ultrasound scanner. Hitting the recent files button he opened up the one and only scan file in there and hit play. As he watched his son on the screen he felt his legs give way and he slumped down onto the stool behind him.
He sat and watched the entire twenty minutes of the scan, tears falling freely from his face before he pulled out the data chip he had in his pocket. As fast as he could, he wiped the tears from his eyes and saved the file onto the disc.
“What are you doing?”
Jayne looked up to see Simon standing in the doorway, “Ain’t doin nothin,” Jayne said as he pulled out the disc, pocketed it and turned the scanner off.
“Really?” Simon asked him, frowning slightly as Jayne rubbed at his wet eyes again.
“Why don’t you mind your own gorram business for a change,” Jayne said before pushing past him and out of the door.
Simon watched him go, wondering just what the hell Jayne had been up to and why was he crying at Mal’s scan… unless…. Simon spun to see if Jayne was still there. But he was long gone. He’d corner him tomorrow, find out exactly what was going on.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Mal was last to breakfast and as was his usual went to pour himself a cup of coffee, his one and only cup for the day. But as he sat down, he realised that Jayne was missing.
“He’s unconscious,” River told him.
“Who’s unconscious?” Simon asked worriedly.
“Jayne,” River explained, “It’s alcohol induced.”
Mal sighed, “Well so long as he keeps it in his bunk and out of our way, then best leave him to it.”
Everyone turned to stare at him, a bit surprised at his reaction as usually he would bitch and moan about Jayne acting in such a way. And although he’d been getting drunk more than usual lately, he’d not missed breakfast. But this… it was like he’d been expecting it.
“Maybe I should go check on him anyway,” Simon said as he stood, “He could’ve hurt his head or broke something or God forbid, choked on his own vomit,”
“He’s not in his bunk,” River said.
“Where is he?” Kaylee asked her.
River glanced at Mal before answering her, “Spare shuttle,” she told her before looking back at Mal for his reaction.
But Mal just looked down at his coffee, not entirely sure how to act. It was quite clear that Jayne was upset and it was all his fault. But if the man wasn’t conscious or sober then how could he talk to him. He wanted to talk to him. Maybe re-think their arrangement. When he’d lay there and watched their baby waving his arms around, and then hearing his heartbeat, it was all of a sudden very real and he wanted nothing more than to have Jayne there with him.
“I’ll go check he’s alright then,” Simon said as he headed out the other way.
“I’ll go get your bag,” Kaylee said as she headed towards their bunk.
“I might need a hand moving him,” Simon said just before he headed out the door.
“Say no more,” Wash said as he stood, “I have large muscles and can lift many heavy things.”
Simon just rolled his eyes at him before leading him out and towards the spare shuttle.
“You should go too,” River said to Mal.
“Should I?” Mal asked her, daring her to say outright what she was thinking.
“Yes,” she said bluntly before standing up and making her way up to the bridge.
“I agree,” Zoe said as she folded her arms across her chest.
Mal huffed and set his coffee down on the table before standing up, “Fine,” he said.
“What is going on?” Inara asked Zoe as Mal brushed past her, “Where is everyone?”
“Jayne’s passed out in the spare shuttle,” Kaylee said as she ran past.
Inara just turned and looked at Zoe and Book for a further explanation, “Come on,” Zoe said, “All will be revealed.”
Inara about turned and followed Zoe and Book out towards the spare shuttle. They just managed to squeeze in and watch as Simon attempted to wake Jayne up.
“Jayne,” he said as he gave his face a soft tap, “Jayne can you hear me?”
Jayne’s eyes fluttered slightly as if he was trying to open them and he mumbled something. Sighing, Simon took his bag off of Kaylee and pulled a syringe out of it.
“Help me turn him over,” he said to Wash.
“What you plannin on doin there Doc?” Mal asked as he stood watching over them.
“This has to be administered deep into the intra muscular layer,” Simon explained as he held up the syringe that now had a large needle on it.
“Meaning?”
“It has to go into his butt or his thigh,” he said as he pulled down Jayne’s pants to expose the top part of his buttocks and then stabbed the needle in.
Jayne didn’t even flinch, showing them all exactly how drunk he was as he usually screamed just at the sight of needles.
“He’s going to wake up in a second,” Simon said, pulling his pants back up, “I need to put him in the recovery position. Here, take these,” he said to Mal as he took the almost empty bottle of liquor out of Jayne’s left hand and a capture out of his right. Then he and Wash turned Jayne back over again, putting him in the recovery position.
As they waited for Jayne to come round, Mal stared down at the capture. Curious to see what was on it, and just why Jayne had been clinging to it, he hit play.
“What is it?” Kaylee asked.
“The baby,” Mal said quietly, realising for the first time, just how much his decision to have this child on his own had been destroying Jayne.
“Why would Jayne have a capture of your baby?” Inara asked.
But Mal didn’t answer, instead crouching down beside Jayne, as he started to wake up.
“Mal?” Jayne asked groggily, recognising his boots.
“Yeah Jayne, it’s me,” Mal said, “How you feelin?”
“Like shit. Where am I?” he asked as he tried to sit up, but Mal put a hand on his shoulder pushing him back down.
“You’re in the spare shuttle, drank yourself unconscious.”
Jayne frowned as he tried to remember before his head snapped up, “Where’s my capture?” he asked frantically searching the floor beside him for it.
“I got it here,” Mal said, handing it back to him.
Jayne took the capture and looked up at Mal nervously, waiting for him to start shouting and telling him that he had no right to have it.
“Will y’all give us a minute?” Mal asked, not breaking his eye contact with Jayne.
Simon stood, his suspicions from the night before being confirmed and began to escort the rest of them out while Zoe smiled softly to herself. When they were gone, Mal helped Jayne sit up, propping him against the hull before sitting next to him.
“You wanna tell me why you got so drunk you passed out in my shuttle?” Mal asked him.
Jayne shrugged, “Needed to forget for a while,” he said.
“Forget what?”
“The pain,” Jayne told him, “This whole thing is killing me Mal. I can’t stay here and just pretend. He’s as much my son as he is yours.”
Mal nodded, “I know,” he said with a sigh, “I’ve been a right liu kuoshui de biaozi he houzi de ben erzi with all of this.”
Jayne didn’t say anything, just stared down at the blank screen of the capture.
“Zoe said she heard you talking to yourself about leavin,” Mal said, “That true? You gonna leave?”
Jayne sighed, “I dunno. It’s just… it hurts so gorram much already, what’s it gonna be like when he’s born? But then, I don’t want to not be here for him, y’know?”
Mal nodded, “Yeah I know. And I don’t want you to leave,” he said taking hold of Jayne’s hand, “Boys are a lot to handle. I’m gonna need all the help I can get.”
Jayne snapped his head up to stare at Mal, “Are you serious? You want me to be a part of his life?”
“Well yeah. It were stupid and mean of me to try and stop you from being there. But, seeing the way you’ve been lately, I think you’d be a great Pa. And the baby needs you. I need you.”
Jayne smiled before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Mal’s lips, “Thank you,” he said, “And I swear I’ll be a great Pa. I’ll be there for you and Jayne Junior all the way,” he said as he jumped up, grabbing at his sore head slightly.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Mal said as he too stood up, “Jayne Junior?
“What’s wrong with Jayne?”
“Nothin,” Mal said, not wanting to upset him anymore, “I just… I think it’s something we should thoroughly talk about before we make any decisions.”
“My Pa was called Jayne, as was his Pa and his Pa before that. It’s tradition,” Jayne told him.
Mal bit his lip, “How about we go get some breakfast and talk about this later,” he suggested as he put a hand on Jayne’s arm, realising that his child would probably end up being called Jayne.
When they stepped out of the shuttle, the others were nowhere to be seen, obviously having headed back to their breakfast.
“How are you feeling?” Simon asked Jayne when he stepped into the galley.
“Just shiny Doc,” Jayne said, “How are you feeling?”
“You talked to him then?” River asked Mal as she sat back down in her seat.
“Yes,” Mal said, going to get a fresh cup of coffee since his other one was all cold.
“Can someone, please tell me what’s going on?” Kaylee asked, although she had a good idea.
“Jayne’s the father of the baby,” Mal told her, making Wash spit his coffee out in surprise.
“Jayne?” he asked.
“What’s so wrong with that?” Jayne asked him with a frown.
“Nothing, I just… I had no idea you liked men that way.”
Jayne shrugged, “I’m not fussy. Take it where ever I can.”
“That’s so romantic,” Zoe smiled.
“Romance had nothing to do with it,” Mal said as he sat back down, “Kind of why I told Jayne he was to have nothing to do with the baby.”
“But you’ve changed your mind now I hope,” Book said.
Mal sighed and smiled at Jayne, “Yeah. Jayne Junior is gonna have his Daddy and his Pa there for him always.”
Jayne beamed at Mal, ignoring the sputtered ‘Jayne Junior’ from Wash who was giggling like a mad man.
“Well, maybe romance didn’t have nothin to do with conceivin little JJ, but maybe it can play at part now,” Kaylee said with a small smile.
Mal tilted his head in thought, “JJ, I like that,” he said, completely ignoring the part about romance. But Jayne had heard her, and he hadn’t been able to stop his eyes from shining in excitement at the thought.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Mal was just stripping off, getting ready for bed when his hatch door was kicked open. Shirtless and pants half way off he spun to see Jayne’s legs descending into his bunk.
“Jayne?” he asked, “What you doin down here?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” Jayne said, closing the hatch door.
Mal raised an eyebrow at him before sitting down on his bed, “Talk away then,” he said.
Jayne, instead of sitting down on the chair like he had the last time he’d been down there, sat down on the bed next to Mal.
“Somethin Kaylee said got me thinkin,” he said, “I don’t want our baby thinkin that we never wanted him. That he was just a big mistake. Cause trust me, it ain’t a nice feelin.”
“He won’t though,” Mal said, “I mean why would he think that?”
“Parents are usually lovin couples, sharing a bed and a room, even getting married…”
“You better not be proposing,” Mal said to him.
“I ain’t proposing,” Jayne told him with a sigh, leaving out the ‘not yet anyway’, “I just, I don’t know how to say it, so I’m gonna just do it.”
Mal frowned at him and was about to ask what ‘it’ was when Jayne leaned forward and placed the softest of kisses on his lips.
“What was that?” Mal asked him when he pulled away.
“You’re carrying my baby,” Jayne said, placing his strong hand on Mal’s bump before leaning forward and placing another kiss on Mal’s lips, “Apart from JJ,” he added, kissing along his jaw, “You’re the most important person in my life.”
Mal, whose head was tilted back to allow Jayne to kiss his neck, struggled to get his words out, “Okay,” he said huskily, “But why… why all the kissin? Not that I’m complainin mind.”
Jayne pulled back to look at Mal, “I want to be with you Mal. If you’ll have me that is.”
Mal stared into Jayne’s big blue eyes that were pleading with him, and well, he’d hurt Jayne enough. He couldn’t hurt him anymore, and so he cupped Jayne’s face in his hand and pulled him back towards him for a deep, slow and passionate kiss.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Jayne stood at the top of the bed, holding Mal’s hand, their wedding bands shining in the bright light as Simon, with Inara, Zoe and River assisting him, began the caesarean section.
“Okay Mal?”
“Yeah,” Mal said dopily, drugged up to the eyeballs, “Just shiny.”
Jayne bent down and placed a kiss on his head, “Won’t be long now,” he said quietly.
And he was right. Within seconds of Simon making the first incision, the air was filled with the sound of little JJ (or not so little as Zoe announced that he weighed ten pounds eight ounces) crying.
Zoe and Inara concentrated on cleaning him up, while River and Simon finished stitching up Mal.
“Is he okay?” Mal asked Jayne, “Can you see anything?”
“He’s got long legs,” Jayne said, “Can’t see much more but he sounds fine anyways,” he said, stroking Mal’s head lovingly.
By the time River and Simon had finished with Mal, Zoe and Inara had finished with JJ. Simon propped Mal up in the bed slightly, careful not to strain him so he didn’t pull any stitches and then Zoe came over with the baby.
“Sir, Jayne,” she said, “I’d like to introduce you to Jayne Reynolds.”
After agreeing that the baby would be named after Jayne, it was decided that he would take Mal’s surname. Which in retrospect didn’t really matter as Jayne took Mal’s name when they married anyway.
Mal smiled as Zoe handed JJ over, his eyes welling up at the sight of him, “He’s beautiful,” he said before smiling up at Jayne.
Jayne leaned down and kissed Mal before placing a kiss on JJ’s head, “Looks like he’s gonna be built like a Cobb,” Jayne said.
“I’m just glad I didn’t have to squeeze him out,” Mal smiled as Jayne leaned down and picked him up.
Mal lay and watched as Jayne cradled him gently. And really, for as big as JJ was, seeing Jayne hold him made him look so tiny.
Reaching out, Mal took hold of Jayne’s free hand, “I love you, you know that?” Mal said.
Jayne smiled, “I love you too,” he said, “Both of you.”
The End
CHINESE
Hundan - bastard
Shenme - excuse me/what?
Renci de Fouzu - merciful Buddha
Schi - shit
Swai - handsome
liu kuoshui de biaozi he houzi de ben erzi - stupid son of a drooling whore and a monkey