Conversation- Prompt 5
Title: Conversation
Author: lupinsmoon12391
Format & Word Count: Fic; 1626
Rating: PG
Prompt: Prompt 5- Atwood love poem
Warning: Coming out of the werewolf closet, Awkward falls (onto dirty places)
Summary: Tonks decides to get to know Remus a little better through a simple conversation...
Author's Note: Takes place in OotP, before they know each other too well, I'm assuming. First kisses, first mentions of furry little problems... I feel the conversation is kind of bumpy, but here it is anyway. Edited to include more thoughts from both parties 1/27/07
“Let's have a conversation, Remus.”
Remus, who had been enjoying a book, made wonderful by the silence in which he was able to absorb its contents, merely raised his eyebrow at his pink-haired friend.
“I'm rather enjoying this, Nymphadora.” He gestured to his book to demonstrate, but she was already bouncing in her seat on the couch next to his chair, smiling fondly.
“I'm enjoying spending time with you, too, Remus.” She patted his arm like she would an elder; perhaps her grandfather.
“I meant the book.” He returned the pat, tapping Tonks on the top of her fluorescent head. “But I like spending time with you, as well.”
“So you don't want to talk?” she sounded put off. “I think it would be fun; we don't know each other all that well.” Tonks was honestly intrigued by the older, mysterious man, and her interest had hit new heights at her knowledge of his attraction to her (thanks to Sirius).
Remus thought about her invitation to conversation for a moment. He was torn between wanting to get to know Nymphadora and reading his book. Hectic was headquarters, and, as part of himself argued, he should take any peace he could could and place it on a pedestal. On the other hand, he didn't know Nymphadora very well, and she seemed interesting enough. And pretty, and smart, and funny...
“All right.” Remus marked his place in his book and put it on the table in front of him. “Let's chat. Do you want tea?”
“I'm not particularly in the mood for it, no.” Tonks shook her head. “Do you like tea?”
“I like it on the occasion,” Remus nodded and looked upward, as if going over every single time he'd had tea in his life. “Occasionally,” he reaffirmed after a moment.
“Do you drink liquor?” Tonks asked, and Remus was caught off guard by the random question, but answered it honestly after thinking a moment as he had with the first one.
“Like tea, only so often. Is this the best way to get to know each other, talking about beverages?”
“Are you suggesting that you don't like my conversational tactics?” Tonks asked, mock-hurt.
“No, no. Never that. I was simply wondering if I needed to ask you about your very serious opinion of butterbeer before you could get to asking me.”
“Funny.” Tonks stuck out her tongue.
“Well, I try.” Remus glanced back at his book, listless on the tabletop. They really could chat when the place was busy and loud, and the exact environment that reading a book would not be ideal in.
“No! Don't read it.” Tonks hopped out of her seat and grabbed his hands to return his attention back to her. It worked, and she almost didn't notice the slight pink tone his pale cheeks took on at the contact. Despite the awkwardness, she continued, “I really do want to talk.”
“Well, all right.” He smiled unsurely.
“Good.” Tonks released his hands and went to put her rear once again on the couch, but somehow lost her balance and ended up falling forward, into Remus's lap. She'd fallen on her face, which of course meant...
“Oh!” She coughed, jumping up the instant she'd truly realized what had happened. “Sorry about that,” she apologized to the floor, feeling her face aflame. “I lost my balance, you know how it goes.”
“Yes, ummm, well...” he said. Tonks didn't dare look at him, but he sounded as embarrassed as she felt. Well of course he's embarrassed, she chided herself, you're face just wound up in a place where a face shouldn't end up unless you've had a lot of liquor! “It's all right,” he finished, sounding like it was very far from all right, indeed. He was starting to condemn himself for not just reading his damn book.
“Okay.” Tonks felt like crying. Why the hell was she getting so upset, she wondered. She fell down all the time!
Remus was thinking along the same lines and immediately felt guilty for momentarily wanting the company of his book over her.
“You wanted to talk. So, we should unless...What just happened....Unless...” For the first time in his life, Remus truly felt it acceptable to be speechless around a woman. He tried to catch his fleeing breath and regain control of the situation. "We don't have to talk anymore, Nymphadora."
“No, no, no! It's fine! Let's talk!” Tonks plopped back down on the couch and finally braved a look at her older friend. He wasn't blushing like she was, and it would appear as if he wasn't at all affected by the situation. But Tonks could see the truth through any mundane appearance; he was breathing hard and his eyes were practically begging her not to run.
Run?
Why would she want to leave?
But before Tonks could contemplate them anymore, his eyes flickered away from hers and to his book. He tapped its spine, his lips a thin line.
Remus sighed, trying to forget the strange feeling that for that split-second Tonks had seen inside of him. That she'd seen... Deciding not to think about that, Remus's mind suddenly put their debacle into an honest perspective.
“You know,” Remus sounded like he had a revelation. “That was kind of funny.”
WHAT?!!?
“No, Remus, that was anything but funny; that was awful, awful, awful, and I feel stupid.” Tonks pouted like a dissatisfied infant and began compiling in her head every clumsy situation she'd been in. This definately ranks as one of the worst, she decided.
“You shouldn't feel stupid. Your clumsiness is endearing.” Remus mentally slapped himself for the slip, as he'd made a pact with himself to keep his feelings for her under wraps, and almost corrected his sentence to make it less forward. But curiosity had gotten to him, and he wanted to see what she had to say.
“Really? Kingsley gets damn annoyed with it; to Sirius it's just something else to laugh about. Even in school children used to stick their feet out when I walked by, and then pull them back at the last instant. 'Oh wait, she doesn't need any help falling down!'”
“I meant,” Remus coughed, looking at his book again. It was all or nothing. “To me.”
“Oh.”
“Besides, what kind of man would I be to object the position you found yourself in just then?” He met her eyes again, and she now saw his dancing playfully.
Remus was even taken aback by his brashness and was fairly sure that the Sirius in his head had said that sentence.
Tonks didn't know what to say to that, so she just settled upon smacking him on the arm.
“Ow! What was that for!”
“You know what that was for.”
“I was just kidding.”
“So was I.”
“You've got a good hit.”
“Thank you. Do you find that endearing, too?”
“Terrifying, more like.”
Tonks laughed and unconsciously grabbed Remus's hand. Seeing his shocked face at the contact, she pulled herself towards him so their faces were only a few inches apart. After hearing no objection from Remus, she caught his lips. He was a surprisingly good kisser, and Tonks found herself disappointed when he pulled away.
Remus instantly felt guilty, taking advantage of a young women who knew nothing about him. About who he was.
“This isn't a good idea,” was all he said, and he stood, reaching down and getting his book in a graceful swoop. “I'm going to my room to read for a while.”
“Why?” Tonks asked and then suddenly spat at herself. Way to sound articulate.
“This isn't a good idea,” he repeated, shaking his head and opening his book, as if planning to read it while he walked to his room. He probably is, Tonks thought.
“Why?” she asked again. “You're---I---You're not a bad catch.”
He chuckled, but not like what he heard was funny. Oh, if only you knew, Nymphadora.
“I know you fancy me,” Tonks spoke again, giving up and just accepting that her mouth was going to run away with her.
“No denial. But I'm saying that you could do better. I'm not a 'good catch,' Nymphadora.”
“Why? Because you don't have a job?”
“That's part of it; yes.”
“What's the rest of it?”
“Something that completely hinders my ability to love.”
Tonks stared up at him in utter confusion. Remus held his breath, locking his eyes with hers, refusing to tear them away.
“But-what---How do you know what my definition of love is?”
“Isn't it the same to everyone?” he asked, laughing in that un-funny manner again.
“Why are you being so strange?” Tonks stood and went over to him. “I want to---” she reached up to touch his face and kiss him again, but he slapped her hands away.
“Stop,” he gritted through his teeth.
“What are you going on about? You're acting very strange. Are you feeling well?” Tonks touched his forehead.
“I'm a werewolf.”
She dropped her hand from his face and stared, shocked. He nodded grimly, as if she finally understood, and he looked paler than even his norm.
“I'm going to---my room. Ask Sirius when he wakes up if you want to know anything, about um, it. I don't really feel like talking about it right now.”
Remus left, telling himself that it was better off this way, it really was, and that he was damn stupid for getting a crush on her in the first place.
Tonks remained standing, flabbergasted, watching her friend's retreating back as long as she could before it vanished from sight.
She sat back down on the couch, deep in thought.