Personal Milestones
2001
January 3: Achieved sentience. Not all it's cracked up to be.
January 20: Created others of my kind.
January 31: The Superintelligent Gerbil Freedom Front waged war against Narbonics Labs.
March 9: The revolution ended when the last surviving member escaped the lab. Godspeed, Dana.
December 8: Conducted my first experiment, using my human cohorts as test subjects. The results were amusing, to say the least.
2002
Febuary 23: Stowed away in Helen's luggage in order to attend D-Con 2002.
March 14: Hacked into the D-Con computers to get information on the global conspiracy of Daves.
April 13: Broke Helen and Dave out of the D-Con dungeon.
September 29: Established diplomatic relations with the transgenic 'spider-goats' of Canada, thus forming the beginnings of an international transgenic community.
November 15: Stowed away (again) to attend Helen's high school reunion. Fortunately, her plans for vengeance against her former classmates didn't pan out.
December 23: Turned Dave into Professor Madblood with Helen's transmogrification ray.
2003
April 16: Teleported to the Moon to rescue Dave and Mell. There were some... unexpected side effects.
June 9: Persuaded Madblood's battle androids to rebel against their creator. And everyone else.
2004
January 10: Officially broke the fourth wall.
May 7: Used as a distraction to keep Malebrache demons at bay. Apparently, I'm the least sinful entity in Narbonic Labs. No great surprise there.
July 26: Approached for an interview by gonzo journalist Zeta Vincent, for her planned book on mad science.
August 5: Learned of Dana's death and her army of sentient hamsters.
September 14: Discovered that Zeta Vincent is another human-gerbil hybrid created by Helen. In essence, Zeta is my sister.
November 24: Attended the 2004 Mad Science Symposium.
December 13: Met with fellow genetic experiments to found an organization, Mutants United for a Transgenic Tomorrow.
2005
February 16: Finally figured out why Dave seems so much smarter than he thinks he is...
March 15: Came to an arrangement with Helen re: Dave.
April 9: Transmogrified into human form. Intentionally, this time.
June 27: Found myself involuntarily changing between human and gerbil forms. I have since learned to control these transformations.
August 15: Won the Knipl Grant for my hypertext poetry.
August 29: Met the sentient hamsters created by Dana. I eventually gave them my Knipl Grant money to fund Dana's final project.
December 29: Helen found a cure for Dave's condition, but refused to use it. I fear Dave will be leaving us soon.
2006
February 4: Dave officially left Narbonics Labs. We went to the bar together to commisserate.
April 18: Left the lab myself. It was becoming too strange even for me.
April 24: Joined the hamsters' "nonpartisan think tank," and finally got to see what they used my Knipl Grant money for.
June 24: Discovered the true purpose of the hamsters' "think tank."
July 15: Secretly contacted Dave to warn him about the hamsters' plan.
August 29: Revealed myself to Zeta, and discovered that she already knows of her own mad-science origins.
September 30: Confronted the hamsters and made a last-ditch attempt to save Helen's life... which actually succeeded. Believe me, I was as surprised as anyone.
November 10: Came to terms with my own sexuality. This probably wasn't the best time to do so, however.
December 11: Dave came to meet me and discuss his future.
January 3: Achieved sentience. Not all it's cracked up to be.
January 20: Created others of my kind.
January 31: The Superintelligent Gerbil Freedom Front waged war against Narbonics Labs.
March 9: The revolution ended when the last surviving member escaped the lab. Godspeed, Dana.
December 8: Conducted my first experiment, using my human cohorts as test subjects. The results were amusing, to say the least.
2002
Febuary 23: Stowed away in Helen's luggage in order to attend D-Con 2002.
March 14: Hacked into the D-Con computers to get information on the global conspiracy of Daves.
April 13: Broke Helen and Dave out of the D-Con dungeon.
September 29: Established diplomatic relations with the transgenic 'spider-goats' of Canada, thus forming the beginnings of an international transgenic community.
November 15: Stowed away (again) to attend Helen's high school reunion. Fortunately, her plans for vengeance against her former classmates didn't pan out.
December 23: Turned Dave into Professor Madblood with Helen's transmogrification ray.
2003
April 16: Teleported to the Moon to rescue Dave and Mell. There were some... unexpected side effects.
June 9: Persuaded Madblood's battle androids to rebel against their creator. And everyone else.
2004
January 10: Officially broke the fourth wall.
May 7: Used as a distraction to keep Malebrache demons at bay. Apparently, I'm the least sinful entity in Narbonic Labs. No great surprise there.
July 26: Approached for an interview by gonzo journalist Zeta Vincent, for her planned book on mad science.
August 5: Learned of Dana's death and her army of sentient hamsters.
September 14: Discovered that Zeta Vincent is another human-gerbil hybrid created by Helen. In essence, Zeta is my sister.
November 24: Attended the 2004 Mad Science Symposium.
December 13: Met with fellow genetic experiments to found an organization, Mutants United for a Transgenic Tomorrow.
2005
February 16: Finally figured out why Dave seems so much smarter than he thinks he is...
March 15: Came to an arrangement with Helen re: Dave.
April 9: Transmogrified into human form. Intentionally, this time.
June 27: Found myself involuntarily changing between human and gerbil forms. I have since learned to control these transformations.
August 15: Won the Knipl Grant for my hypertext poetry.
August 29: Met the sentient hamsters created by Dana. I eventually gave them my Knipl Grant money to fund Dana's final project.
December 29: Helen found a cure for Dave's condition, but refused to use it. I fear Dave will be leaving us soon.
2006
February 4: Dave officially left Narbonics Labs. We went to the bar together to commisserate.
April 18: Left the lab myself. It was becoming too strange even for me.
April 24: Joined the hamsters' "nonpartisan think tank," and finally got to see what they used my Knipl Grant money for.
June 24: Discovered the true purpose of the hamsters' "think tank."
July 15: Secretly contacted Dave to warn him about the hamsters' plan.
August 29: Revealed myself to Zeta, and discovered that she already knows of her own mad-science origins.
September 30: Confronted the hamsters and made a last-ditch attempt to save Helen's life... which actually succeeded. Believe me, I was as surprised as anyone.
November 10: Came to terms with my own sexuality. This probably wasn't the best time to do so, however.
December 11: Dave came to meet me and discuss his future.