uhhh yeah, about that
i feel like i only write in this when i've had a bad day? oh well, at least it's not that often...
i think i just realized that i'm now a member of that "real world" they teach you about. like, i'm there. and i can't just BS my way through life anymore. it's time to take on those 'adult' responsiblilies, live up to my standards, and stand up for myself...
classes start tuesday. and my fire academy. i haven't started packing yet- and this is why. im not looking foward to it. i don't really like being away from home and my friends and family, but at the same time, it helps me concentrate on my work and it makes the time when i do come home and see them, even better. :) still haven't decided if i'm gonna transfer to VCU in the fall or not. guess we'll see how this semester goes?? i love learning and of course i need an education, so not going to college is not an option for me, which is why i really need to do better this semester because if i don't, i could potentially not have the option of staying....yikes. i havent told my parents i'm on academic probation. why? because then my mom would give the fire academy the big "HELL NO" bc school is obviously more important. especially since she single-handedly pays for it. so i give her that much. and so i have that awkard guilty conscience that wants to tell her but at the same time, im like 'ehhh well, all i have to do is bring up my grades and prove to her that i can multi-task, and she'll be so proud and never know!' so that is what i plan to do...
dad and i had a 'talk' after christmas and he said i'll give you a call next week and we'll do lunch so we can talk about everything in detail, just you and me. so i was like ohhhh god i really have to do this now. i'm gonna tell him everything and how i feel.
it's been two weeks. i'll give you one guess.
i don't think my friends realize how much i appreciate them. there are some people in my life that ALWAYS say the right thing, are there when i need them, and put up with my craziness. and i want to thank them. and they know exactly who they are. even though no one reads this im pretty sure, i just had to throw that out there. thanks again. :)
when i see all my best girlfriends and their boyfriends, i'm like aww thats so cute! and deep down i'm saying, damn it must be nice to be loved.
i realize that i may not always be the best daughter, the best friend, the best sister, or the best student, but i'm willing to try. please know that i always want to make everyone happy, and i'm sorry if sometimes i let you down. there are a lot of things that i need to buckle down and do/fix now. and while im here to make certain people proud, i need to start by doing it for me. yuppp.
i had a dream two nights ago that i saved someone having a cardiac arrest. it was intense. and scary.
i think i'm more excited about starting my fire academy next week than i am about starting classes. haha, of course. this is something i've wanted for soooo long! i'll be the one running in, when everyone else is running out. what a rush. can't wait.
well i'm starting to blab now because there's no one online to talk to right now so i just sorta let it all out on here. that was a run on sentence and i dont feel like fixing it. hahaha im such a dork. i think i'm gonna watch anchorman and call it a night...
oh wait.
thats right... justin has it. oh well, he'll put it to more use than i'll have time for. as long as i get to go watch it every now and then, that'll be great.
bet.
alrighty, i'm goin to bed now. night all. and loveeeee you ;)
i think i just realized that i'm now a member of that "real world" they teach you about. like, i'm there. and i can't just BS my way through life anymore. it's time to take on those 'adult' responsiblilies, live up to my standards, and stand up for myself...
classes start tuesday. and my fire academy. i haven't started packing yet- and this is why. im not looking foward to it. i don't really like being away from home and my friends and family, but at the same time, it helps me concentrate on my work and it makes the time when i do come home and see them, even better. :) still haven't decided if i'm gonna transfer to VCU in the fall or not. guess we'll see how this semester goes?? i love learning and of course i need an education, so not going to college is not an option for me, which is why i really need to do better this semester because if i don't, i could potentially not have the option of staying....yikes. i havent told my parents i'm on academic probation. why? because then my mom would give the fire academy the big "HELL NO" bc school is obviously more important. especially since she single-handedly pays for it. so i give her that much. and so i have that awkard guilty conscience that wants to tell her but at the same time, im like 'ehhh well, all i have to do is bring up my grades and prove to her that i can multi-task, and she'll be so proud and never know!' so that is what i plan to do...
dad and i had a 'talk' after christmas and he said i'll give you a call next week and we'll do lunch so we can talk about everything in detail, just you and me. so i was like ohhhh god i really have to do this now. i'm gonna tell him everything and how i feel.
it's been two weeks. i'll give you one guess.
i don't think my friends realize how much i appreciate them. there are some people in my life that ALWAYS say the right thing, are there when i need them, and put up with my craziness. and i want to thank them. and they know exactly who they are. even though no one reads this im pretty sure, i just had to throw that out there. thanks again. :)
when i see all my best girlfriends and their boyfriends, i'm like aww thats so cute! and deep down i'm saying, damn it must be nice to be loved.
i realize that i may not always be the best daughter, the best friend, the best sister, or the best student, but i'm willing to try. please know that i always want to make everyone happy, and i'm sorry if sometimes i let you down. there are a lot of things that i need to buckle down and do/fix now. and while im here to make certain people proud, i need to start by doing it for me. yuppp.
i had a dream two nights ago that i saved someone having a cardiac arrest. it was intense. and scary.
i think i'm more excited about starting my fire academy next week than i am about starting classes. haha, of course. this is something i've wanted for soooo long! i'll be the one running in, when everyone else is running out. what a rush. can't wait.
well i'm starting to blab now because there's no one online to talk to right now so i just sorta let it all out on here. that was a run on sentence and i dont feel like fixing it. hahaha im such a dork. i think i'm gonna watch anchorman and call it a night...
oh wait.
thats right... justin has it. oh well, he'll put it to more use than i'll have time for. as long as i get to go watch it every now and then, that'll be great.
bet.
alrighty, i'm goin to bed now. night all. and loveeeee you ;)