The Voice
Raise your hand if you know someone who’s job is to be the voice for a company’s automated service. Smart. I don’t see any hands up. I want to kill anyone who is themself or is associated with “a voice”.
Companies would be smart to nix ‘the voice’ and the automoated answering service altogether. By the time I actually get to a customer service rep, I am always and without a doubt in a more agitated and fragile mood than I was when I first put the call in.
The voice doesn’t listen. The voice asks, but the voice does NOT listen. “Press or say one for so-and-so. Press or say two for such-and-such. Etc.” By the time the voice rattles off her entire list of options, I realize that the voice does not have a fitting option for me. “Customer Service” I always say, or “operator” becaise I can’t stand the voice for one more minute, even if she is trying to filter me to the correct person and ultimately save time. “I’m sorry customer (slight robotic pause) service is not an option. Press or say one for so-and-so...” and on down the twenty minute list we go.
Why doesn’t the voice react when I loose my patience? It’s infuriating.
Me: “Customer Service”
The voice: “I’m sorry....”
Me: CUSTOMER Servie
The voice: “Did you say bad service?”
Me: NO. CUSTOMER SERVICE.
The voice: “Ok. Did you say...”
Me: “CUSTOMER SERVICE. CUSTOMER SERVICE. CUSTOMER SERVICE CUSTOMER SERVICE CUSTOMER SEERVVVICE”
The voice: “Okay. Just one minute.”
Me: I’ll slap you bitch. Don’t push me. Don’t egg me on.
Then you are on hold and the voice fucking re-appears with some schpeal that is played w/o break until you are no longer on hold.
The voice: “We understand that your time is valuable. Please have such and such identification number ready. Please have such and such code on hand. We understand that your time is valuable. Please Please have such and such identification number ready. Please have such and such code on hand. We understand that your time is valuable. Please have such and such identification number ready. Please reach up my anus and pull my personal identification from my insides.”
The voice is like a bad first date. The voiceis invasive. The voice doesn’t get the hint. The voice talks when I don’t want to listen. I would presume that the voice can’t kiss. For all of these reasons and more, I want to find the voice and kick it’s ass. Who is the voice? Where does the voice live? Does the voice like the product that I am calling about? Does the voice really understand that my time is valuable?
The worst when, in ½ the scenarios, you put in your time with ‘the voice’ only to get disconnected once the real, idiot customer service rep picks up. Ahhhhh.
Companies would be smart to nix ‘the voice’ and the automoated answering service altogether. By the time I actually get to a customer service rep, I am always and without a doubt in a more agitated and fragile mood than I was when I first put the call in.
The voice doesn’t listen. The voice asks, but the voice does NOT listen. “Press or say one for so-and-so. Press or say two for such-and-such. Etc.” By the time the voice rattles off her entire list of options, I realize that the voice does not have a fitting option for me. “Customer Service” I always say, or “operator” becaise I can’t stand the voice for one more minute, even if she is trying to filter me to the correct person and ultimately save time. “I’m sorry customer (slight robotic pause) service is not an option. Press or say one for so-and-so...” and on down the twenty minute list we go.
Why doesn’t the voice react when I loose my patience? It’s infuriating.
Me: “Customer Service”
The voice: “I’m sorry....”
Me: CUSTOMER Servie
The voice: “Did you say bad service?”
Me: NO. CUSTOMER SERVICE.
The voice: “Ok. Did you say...”
Me: “CUSTOMER SERVICE. CUSTOMER SERVICE. CUSTOMER SERVICE CUSTOMER SERVICE CUSTOMER SEERVVVICE”
The voice: “Okay. Just one minute.”
Me: I’ll slap you bitch. Don’t push me. Don’t egg me on.
Then you are on hold and the voice fucking re-appears with some schpeal that is played w/o break until you are no longer on hold.
The voice: “We understand that your time is valuable. Please have such and such identification number ready. Please have such and such code on hand. We understand that your time is valuable. Please Please have such and such identification number ready. Please have such and such code on hand. We understand that your time is valuable. Please have such and such identification number ready. Please reach up my anus and pull my personal identification from my insides.”
The voice is like a bad first date. The voiceis invasive. The voice doesn’t get the hint. The voice talks when I don’t want to listen. I would presume that the voice can’t kiss. For all of these reasons and more, I want to find the voice and kick it’s ass. Who is the voice? Where does the voice live? Does the voice like the product that I am calling about? Does the voice really understand that my time is valuable?
The worst when, in ½ the scenarios, you put in your time with ‘the voice’ only to get disconnected once the real, idiot customer service rep picks up. Ahhhhh.