Colored Lenses [Yesung/Siwon, PG-13]
Title: Colored Lenses
Pairing: Yesung/Siwon
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, General, Romance
Length: one-shot
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, SME does. Plot is mine.
Summary: To Siwon, the world is linear. To Yesung, the world is anything but.
Warning: Un-beta'd. This is Yewon. I've never written Yewon before. It's going to suck.
This is dedicated to Yera (skyhigh2824), for being there for me and always being such a sweet heart. You deserve better than this, but as you know it-- writing has been really hard for me lately. I wish I could give you better.
The first time Yesung confesses to Siwon, he feels as though the world is watching him through colored lenses.
He’s confessing to that man. Not the man that lives down the street; not the man that runs a small business in the center of the city; not that man that everyone knows about but refuses to speak of; Yesung’s first confession is given to Choi Siwon-the man that sees the world at a linear level.
They forget all together that Yesung is confessing to a man, and instead choose to focus on the sole fact that he is declaring his feelings for the man who has none.
Against better judgment, though, Siwon just smiles at him and takes a moment to lower his eyes to the ground in silent ravishment.
“You mean to say that you-Kim Jongwoon-possibly have a thing for me?” Siwon laughs.
Yesung doesn’t know what’s so funny.
“Don’t lie to yourself.”
When Yesung goes home that night, he doesn’t feel defeated. In the least, he rationalizes, Siwon hadn’t rejected him. The younger man simply didn’t believe him-whether it was because it was simply a fact that was hard to believe, or because he just didn’t want to believe it-and that left room for hope.
Except Siwon had given up on hope.
To Choi Siwon, the world rotated on a sphere that survived off of a straight line. What goes around comes around, and nothing ever stays still.
With that in mind, he sordidly sought out everything within himself worth utilizing but his feelings. The thing called feelings was much too unreliable-especially when it came to a person called Kim Jongwoon.
-
“You don’t know what it means to be in love.”
“If I did, I wouldn’t be here.”
“That’s right, but you’re not really here, are you?”
“Maybe not, but this is as close as I will ever get to being anywhere.”
-
In front of Siwon, Yesung feels discarded.
In front of Yesung, Siwon feels transparent.
“What are you doing?” Yesung asks when Siwon reaches out for his hand, slipping his fingers between the creases of his own and grasping him tightly in his palm.
Siwon continues staring ahead aimlessly. “Losing.”
It’s the first time Yesung’s ever won but doesn’t feel the least bit victorious against his opponent. “You don’t know what losing feels like,” he accuses.
The younger boy doesn’t bother denying it, simply shrugging. “No, I guess not.”
Yesung laughs and eases himself into Siwon’s hold. They walk like that, for blocks and blocks, until the road ahead is a little skittish and unclear.
Yet, the one who falls first is not the loser in the game of love; it is the one that falls deeper whom cannot win. They both know this fact too well, but they fail to realize that they’ve both lost sight of what’s truly important-it is not winning or losing that determines their place in the world of romantic feelings and emotions, it is that fact that they have learned to love at all.
Perhaps Siwon doesn’t realize he’s never loved before.
Maybe Yesung has loved all along.
-
“If you look a little further outside of your comfort zone, what do you see?”
Just then, a familiar figure walks past in the distance. “Danger.”
“No, it’s not danger. It’s simply the unknown.”
“Same thing,” he says. “What I don’t know is just as hazardous as danger itself.”
-
“Do you know what you’re apologizing for?” Yesung asks.
Siwon takes the risk of reaching over the table to brush away a few strands of stray hair from the older man’s eyes. “No.”
“Then why are you apologizing?” The elder wants to know. “I don’t want to accept an empty apology.”
There’s a break of tension between them and Yesung feels critters crawling on his skin. Siwon’s eyes are strong, firm, and a little intimidating. “I’ve already said I’m sorry. What more do you want from me? Pride, arrogance, confidence, I’ve lost all of it because of you, but I’ve never asked for you to apologize to me.”
His voice is flat and, though it sounds calm, Yesung feels himself freeze up in place. “What?”
Siwon sighs. He raises his coffee to his lips and breathes in before he takes a drink; the aroma is soothing, relaxing his every nerve. To Siwon, Yesung is like a drug-coffee, then, is his cure. “You’re important to me,” Siwon says, “that’s what I meant to say.”
“I want you to know why I’m upset, Siwon.” Yesung tells him. “I don’t want you to apologize without knowing what’s wrong between us.”
“What’s wrong?” The younger then asks. “I don’t feel as though anything is wrong.”
He is blindly in love-in love with the blind.
“If it’s because we haven’t told anyone about our… progression,” Siwon hesitates, “as long as the timing is right, our relationship is not something I’ve intentionally hidden.”
Yesung shakes his head. “That’s not it.”
“Then what is it, Yesung?” Siwon inquires. “What is bothering you?”
Looking out the window, Yesung adjusts the glasses on the bridge of his nose. He takes a deep breath, savoring the frosty air and silent pension.
Siwon leans over the table, removing the glasses from Yesung’s eyes. “Look at me.”
The elder does as he is told, his dark eyes wavering until they meet with Siwon’s very own. “If I were to tell you that the world doesn’t move on a linear axis, would you believe me?”
“What?” Siwon laughs.
Yesung doesn’t so much as smile. “See? The problem is you have no faith.”
“Yesu-“
“No.” Yesung interrupts him. “You see the world at a flat perspective. Everything and everyone is the same to you. Towards me, you seem to have a filter in your system-you are extra cautious, extra careful, extra gentle, but you hide yourself.”
Siwon remains silent.
“The more you fall, the more afraid of me you become.”
“That’s not true.” Siwon argues. “I’m just not used to being with a man.”
Yesung scoffs. “You’re not used to being with anyone,” he emphasizes, “because you’ve only ever been with yourself, in your mind.”
“You’re important to me, Yesung. I’ve told you over and over again.” Siwon says, as if he’s afraid Yesung will walk out on him, away from his world. “Isn’t that enough?”
“No.” Yesung says. “Unfortunately, it’s not.”
Siwon schools his expression. “Then what do you want?”
“You.” The elder says. “All of you.”
That night, Siwon takes Yesung back to his home. He pulls out old photos, shows Yesung his favorite videos. Although Yesung does not react much to anything, Siwon feels as though they are touching the ground with their fingers, allowing their roots to spread.
“You’re still afraid of me.” Yesung tells him just as he’s about to leave.
Siwon watches as Yesung bends over to retrieve the jacket he’s thrown on his sofa. Every curve, every stretch of Yesung’s body awakens something within himself. Without him even realizing it, Siwon has already wrapped an arm around Yesung’s waist, pulling the man flush against his chest as his lips find solace with Yesung’s very own.
“I’m only afraid of losing you.” Siwon replies, when they’re both sprawled on the comfort of his bed, gasping for air, deep into the dark of night. “I was never afraid of losing to you.”
“How did you even know?” Yesung wonders aloud. “That you felt the same for me.”
Siwon smiles, lacing his fingers with Yesung’s with lips stretching from ear to ear. “Maybe I’ve known all along, ever since the first time I saw you.” He whispers against Yesung’s hair. “I was just waiting for the world to spin one more time, so that you could be by my side again.”
“I don’t wait for the world to catch up to me.” Yesung says. "It can't."
The younger boy nods, eyes closing slowly. “The world rotates around you, hyung.” My world does.
Yesung has never wanted to be the bigger loser in this game of push and pull so much in his life before.
-
“Do you know why the sun rises in the east?”
“So that it can set in the west.”
“You seemed to have learned some good things lately.”
“Maybe.” He laughs, his dimples too deep for any man’s eyes. The sparkle in his gaze is warming to the human heart.
“Something I like to call faith.”
-----
A/N: I honestly am not a Yesung/Siwon couple shipper. Photos of them together are aborable, and they're both amazing, but I guess they're just not my thing? But I hope this wasn't too bad. I always have such a difficult time writing Siwon, so, I hope this didn't come out bad. ;A; I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS YERA!
Pairing: Yesung/Siwon
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, General, Romance
Length: one-shot
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, SME does. Plot is mine.
Summary: To Siwon, the world is linear. To Yesung, the world is anything but.
Warning: Un-beta'd. This is Yewon. I've never written Yewon before. It's going to suck.
This is dedicated to Yera (skyhigh2824), for being there for me and always being such a sweet heart. You deserve better than this, but as you know it-- writing has been really hard for me lately. I wish I could give you better.
The first time Yesung confesses to Siwon, he feels as though the world is watching him through colored lenses.
He’s confessing to that man. Not the man that lives down the street; not the man that runs a small business in the center of the city; not that man that everyone knows about but refuses to speak of; Yesung’s first confession is given to Choi Siwon-the man that sees the world at a linear level.
They forget all together that Yesung is confessing to a man, and instead choose to focus on the sole fact that he is declaring his feelings for the man who has none.
Against better judgment, though, Siwon just smiles at him and takes a moment to lower his eyes to the ground in silent ravishment.
“You mean to say that you-Kim Jongwoon-possibly have a thing for me?” Siwon laughs.
Yesung doesn’t know what’s so funny.
“Don’t lie to yourself.”
When Yesung goes home that night, he doesn’t feel defeated. In the least, he rationalizes, Siwon hadn’t rejected him. The younger man simply didn’t believe him-whether it was because it was simply a fact that was hard to believe, or because he just didn’t want to believe it-and that left room for hope.
Except Siwon had given up on hope.
To Choi Siwon, the world rotated on a sphere that survived off of a straight line. What goes around comes around, and nothing ever stays still.
With that in mind, he sordidly sought out everything within himself worth utilizing but his feelings. The thing called feelings was much too unreliable-especially when it came to a person called Kim Jongwoon.
-
“You don’t know what it means to be in love.”
“If I did, I wouldn’t be here.”
“That’s right, but you’re not really here, are you?”
“Maybe not, but this is as close as I will ever get to being anywhere.”
-
In front of Siwon, Yesung feels discarded.
In front of Yesung, Siwon feels transparent.
“What are you doing?” Yesung asks when Siwon reaches out for his hand, slipping his fingers between the creases of his own and grasping him tightly in his palm.
Siwon continues staring ahead aimlessly. “Losing.”
It’s the first time Yesung’s ever won but doesn’t feel the least bit victorious against his opponent. “You don’t know what losing feels like,” he accuses.
The younger boy doesn’t bother denying it, simply shrugging. “No, I guess not.”
Yesung laughs and eases himself into Siwon’s hold. They walk like that, for blocks and blocks, until the road ahead is a little skittish and unclear.
Yet, the one who falls first is not the loser in the game of love; it is the one that falls deeper whom cannot win. They both know this fact too well, but they fail to realize that they’ve both lost sight of what’s truly important-it is not winning or losing that determines their place in the world of romantic feelings and emotions, it is that fact that they have learned to love at all.
Perhaps Siwon doesn’t realize he’s never loved before.
Maybe Yesung has loved all along.
-
“If you look a little further outside of your comfort zone, what do you see?”
Just then, a familiar figure walks past in the distance. “Danger.”
“No, it’s not danger. It’s simply the unknown.”
“Same thing,” he says. “What I don’t know is just as hazardous as danger itself.”
-
“Do you know what you’re apologizing for?” Yesung asks.
Siwon takes the risk of reaching over the table to brush away a few strands of stray hair from the older man’s eyes. “No.”
“Then why are you apologizing?” The elder wants to know. “I don’t want to accept an empty apology.”
There’s a break of tension between them and Yesung feels critters crawling on his skin. Siwon’s eyes are strong, firm, and a little intimidating. “I’ve already said I’m sorry. What more do you want from me? Pride, arrogance, confidence, I’ve lost all of it because of you, but I’ve never asked for you to apologize to me.”
His voice is flat and, though it sounds calm, Yesung feels himself freeze up in place. “What?”
Siwon sighs. He raises his coffee to his lips and breathes in before he takes a drink; the aroma is soothing, relaxing his every nerve. To Siwon, Yesung is like a drug-coffee, then, is his cure. “You’re important to me,” Siwon says, “that’s what I meant to say.”
“I want you to know why I’m upset, Siwon.” Yesung tells him. “I don’t want you to apologize without knowing what’s wrong between us.”
“What’s wrong?” The younger then asks. “I don’t feel as though anything is wrong.”
He is blindly in love-in love with the blind.
“If it’s because we haven’t told anyone about our… progression,” Siwon hesitates, “as long as the timing is right, our relationship is not something I’ve intentionally hidden.”
Yesung shakes his head. “That’s not it.”
“Then what is it, Yesung?” Siwon inquires. “What is bothering you?”
Looking out the window, Yesung adjusts the glasses on the bridge of his nose. He takes a deep breath, savoring the frosty air and silent pension.
Siwon leans over the table, removing the glasses from Yesung’s eyes. “Look at me.”
The elder does as he is told, his dark eyes wavering until they meet with Siwon’s very own. “If I were to tell you that the world doesn’t move on a linear axis, would you believe me?”
“What?” Siwon laughs.
Yesung doesn’t so much as smile. “See? The problem is you have no faith.”
“Yesu-“
“No.” Yesung interrupts him. “You see the world at a flat perspective. Everything and everyone is the same to you. Towards me, you seem to have a filter in your system-you are extra cautious, extra careful, extra gentle, but you hide yourself.”
Siwon remains silent.
“The more you fall, the more afraid of me you become.”
“That’s not true.” Siwon argues. “I’m just not used to being with a man.”
Yesung scoffs. “You’re not used to being with anyone,” he emphasizes, “because you’ve only ever been with yourself, in your mind.”
“You’re important to me, Yesung. I’ve told you over and over again.” Siwon says, as if he’s afraid Yesung will walk out on him, away from his world. “Isn’t that enough?”
“No.” Yesung says. “Unfortunately, it’s not.”
Siwon schools his expression. “Then what do you want?”
“You.” The elder says. “All of you.”
That night, Siwon takes Yesung back to his home. He pulls out old photos, shows Yesung his favorite videos. Although Yesung does not react much to anything, Siwon feels as though they are touching the ground with their fingers, allowing their roots to spread.
“You’re still afraid of me.” Yesung tells him just as he’s about to leave.
Siwon watches as Yesung bends over to retrieve the jacket he’s thrown on his sofa. Every curve, every stretch of Yesung’s body awakens something within himself. Without him even realizing it, Siwon has already wrapped an arm around Yesung’s waist, pulling the man flush against his chest as his lips find solace with Yesung’s very own.
“I’m only afraid of losing you.” Siwon replies, when they’re both sprawled on the comfort of his bed, gasping for air, deep into the dark of night. “I was never afraid of losing to you.”
“How did you even know?” Yesung wonders aloud. “That you felt the same for me.”
Siwon smiles, lacing his fingers with Yesung’s with lips stretching from ear to ear. “Maybe I’ve known all along, ever since the first time I saw you.” He whispers against Yesung’s hair. “I was just waiting for the world to spin one more time, so that you could be by my side again.”
“I don’t wait for the world to catch up to me.” Yesung says. "It can't."
The younger boy nods, eyes closing slowly. “The world rotates around you, hyung.” My world does.
Yesung has never wanted to be the bigger loser in this game of push and pull so much in his life before.
-
“Do you know why the sun rises in the east?”
“So that it can set in the west.”
“You seemed to have learned some good things lately.”
“Maybe.” He laughs, his dimples too deep for any man’s eyes. The sparkle in his gaze is warming to the human heart.
“Something I like to call faith.”
-----
A/N: I honestly am not a Yesung/Siwon couple shipper. Photos of them together are aborable, and they're both amazing, but I guess they're just not my thing? But I hope this wasn't too bad. I always have such a difficult time writing Siwon, so, I hope this didn't come out bad. ;A; I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS YERA!