Faith and Direction - Part 2/2 [Changmin/Victoria, PG-13]
Title: Faith and Direction
Pairing: Changmin/Victoria
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Romance
Length: one-shot
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, SME does. Plot is mine.
Summary: Beautiful words and pretty lies gave her the security she wanted from the men she loved. He didn't give her any of it, but he was the only one who stayed from the beginning until the end.
Warning: UN-BETA'D. Originally written in Chinese and translated into Chinese in a rush without a go-over, so, probably contains many errors.
“I really can’t believe unnie really gave him another chance, returning to his side,” Sulli sighed dramatically, filled with pain and discomfort.
Changmin could only shake his head, watching his young and ignorant little sister sigh time and again. “Just let her do as she wishes. No matter if she gets hurt or if she’s happy, it’s all her own choice.”
“Stop pretending as though you don’t care,” Sulli furrowed her brows, glaring at him.
Just like Song Qian, Sulli had a pair of gentle and soothing orbs. “I’m not.”
“As if!” Sulli rolled her eyes at him. “Where have you gone over the past few weeks, oppa? I couldn’t find you anywhere-we were really worried about you!”
Changmin smiled softly, waving his hand to call a waiter. “Nothing. I went out to take a stroll, met a few old friends.”
“You have friends, too?” Sulli teased him, her eyes thinning into near nonexistence, laughing loudly.
“It’s true,” Changmin said, “I almost didn’t want to come back.”
Sulli pursed her lips, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t be like this.”
“I’m just joking,” Changmin shook his head, “why are you being so serious?”
“Out of all of us, you are the only one who isn’t being taken seriously. Do you have any more feelings towards unnie at all?”
Changmin took a deep breath. “What if I do and what if I don’t?”
“You-“
“Alright, stop talking about that. Every time I see you, it’s like this; you’re always frowning, yelling and shouting at me. Even if you’re not bored, I’m already tired of this talk,” Changmin retorted. “I just broke up with my girlfriend, letting her spit me in the face, and now I have to listen to you ramble on about sad things in my past. How could you?” Changmin faked a cry, complaining to the younger girl.
He raised an arm, calling for a waiter. All the dishes he ordered were Sulli’s favorite; her favorite entrée meat, her favorite soup, and her favorite desert.
Sulli rested her elbows on the table, her pale, soft chin resting in her palm. “You broke up again? Why? I thought you’d only been together for two or three months. You got sick of her so fast?”
“Child, watch your words,” Changmin lectured her playfully. “I really don’t understand how you and your sister can be so different. Your sister never offends people intentionally, but your every word carries a bit of poison in them.”
“Oh! You’re the one who brought unnie up, don’t blame me! Then do you have any more feelings for unnie now? You keep saying she’s this good and that good, but why have you never gone after her?” Sulli asked the man sitting across from her, the man who grew up with her sister, the Changmin oppa that she cared about most and cared most about her.
After going through so much the entire day, this gentleman was about to be pushed off the edge of sanity by this young girl. “I told you not to-“
“Look at yourself! Oppa, it’s not that I want to scold you, but why can’t you be like some of the other men out there-why can’t you go after her if you like her, and why can’t you give it your all if you love her? Maybe unnie will reject you because of your identity, status, or even the past you share together, but that’s also a type of relief. Unnie loves you, I can guarantee that, but why are you two-why are the two of you so stubborn!” At last, Sulli couldn’t hold back her frustration and exploded. She said everything she’s wanted to say, she shouted out to her hearts content.
Although it’s not the first time, Changmin is still slightly frightened. “It’s easy to say but hard to do, Sulli.”
“What’s so hard! It’s just that you don’t have the guts!”
Finishing what she had to say, scolding Changmin to her satisfaction, Sulli ultimately spent the rest of the evening in silence. She ate what she was supposed to eat, drank what she was supposed to drink, but she still looked so wronged, angry, unrelenting.
“Weird.” After they finished eating, Changmin took Sulli home, laughing inwardly as he watched the younger sister beside him that seemed as though she were about to cry. “None of this has anything to do with you, why do you care so much about it?”
“Because in this world, no one is more important to me than you and unnie to me.” Sulli looked into Changmin’s eyes seriously as she spoke. “You two have such a good relationship, you get along so well; why can’t the two of you just toss away all your imaginary differences?”
Changmin reached out, patting Sulli on the crown of her head. “How do you know that your sister won’t fall in love with her current husband?”
“Even if she falls in love with him, without trust, how long can they last?”
“Child, you understand more than I expected!” After saying this, Changmin smiled bitterly at the younger girl. “Alright, it’s late, your sister must be worried sick about you.”
Sulli nodded, jumping into her Changmin oppa’s embrace. “Changmin oppa, promise me, no matter what happens in the future, don’t leave unnie, okay? She needs you. You know that, right?”
“I know,” Changmin replied, holding the girl tightly. “Even if I leave any person, place, or thing, I won’t leave the side of you two mindless girls. Without me, how will the two of you continue living?”
“Aren’t I here?”
The two of them turned in the direction of the voice immediately, four eyes landing on Nichkhun, the new groom who had married not too long ago. Sulli narrowed her eyes, tightening her grasp on Changmin’s hand. She doesn’t know why, but she just doesn’t have any good feelings towards this man at all.
“Even if you aren’t here, I’ll take care of the sisters.” As Nichkhun spoke those words, his tone was cold and dry.
Changmin smiled stiffly. “That’s true. Then you don’t have to worry, child. You still have your brother in law.”
“Changmin oppa-“
Nichkhun stuffed his hands into his pant pockets, turning his face towards their house, shivering because of the cold. “Let’s go in. Your sister is about to go crazy because of you. If you don’t return soon, I think she’ll kill someone.”
“Go,” Changmin softly rubbed the little girl’s icy cold hands. “Let’s meet up another day.”
“Ok, you should head back home soon, too. Stop messing around with girls outside. Some people will be sad because of it.”
When he heard her words, Nichkhun froze in place.
“I know,” Changmin rolled his eyes, “you really know how to nag.”
Waving their hands, the two parted their ways onto two different roads. Upstairs, behind the window, there was another set of eyes watching Changmin’s leaving figure; it’s that pair of gentle, comfortable, big and round pair of eyes. Eyes that were only meant for Changmin.
They are a pair of helpless eyes that can only long for, yet, cannot possess because their love, which once soared in the season of romance, was put out too early by a wave of cold water. It’s too late to try to get it back, and it’s too late for them to try to shove it to back of their minds. They can only accept it; perhaps one day, when they face each other again, the two of them can open up a spot in their lives to settle the feelings they once had for each other.
But now, all they can do is wait.
-
“Can you stop hurting innocent women, Shim Changmin?”
Shim Changmin tilted his head to the side and the one he sees is his good friend of many years. “Kim Jaejoong, you’re so annoying. All day long, you only know how to kill off my enthusiasm. If you’re a friend, then play with me!”
“Is that woman called Song Qian really that great? Making our Shim Changmin think about her night and day, causing him to be so angry that he plays women as naturally as it is to breath. Although all these woman aren’t very decent, they don’t deserve such heartless treatment, do they?” Handsome looks, beauty, a flower-like appearance; this Kim Jaejoong definitely doesn’t seem like a simple person.
“Where’s Heechul hyung? He didn’t come with you?” Changmin asked.
Jaejoong shrugged his shoulders. “He should be here soon. Yoochun is waiting for me inside. How about you? I thought you said you were meeting your little sister? Why are you here all alone, drinking in misery?”
“She’s late,” Changmin complained with pursed lips. “That girl doesn’t even know to give me a phone call.”
Seeing his dongsaeng looking so bitterly worried, Jaejoong doesn’t feel very comfortable on the inside, either. “Did you dump another girlfriend? Or were you dumped this time?”
“I haven’t had one in a long time, that’s what’s hurting the most,” Changmin laughed.
Jaejoong found it miraculous, lifting his eyebrows. “How is that possible? Why?”
Changmin sighed. “My little sister won’t let me. She said if I mess around like that, someone would be unhappy.”
“So obedient! Oppa is the best!”
Both men were surprised by the weak, small voice. When they turned around, they were greeted by two young and beautiful girls.
Changmin, shocked, immediately averted his gaze back to the cup of alcohol in his hands. “Long time no see.”
“Yeah,” Song Qian nodded, “it really has been a long time.”
Noticing the awkwardness, Jaejoong immediately did a self-introduction. “Hello, I’m Kim Jaejoong. I’ve heard much about you two beautiful ladies; being able to meet you here really is my pleasure.”
“Changmin must have said a lot of bad stuff about us,” Song Qian and Sulli laughed. Hand in hand, the two sisters stuck together so closely that they were almost like conjoined twins.
Jaejoong smiled. “He didn’t say little.”
“Hey! Don’t lie! How could I possibly say anything bad about Sulli-she doesn’t have anything bad for me to talk about!” Changmin hurriedly explained. “Song Qian, on the other hand… there was a bit, more or less.”
Sulli widened her eyes into a glare, snow-white skin slowly simmering with red. “Oppa!”
“Changmin’s already flirting with girls this early in the day?”
The two who decided to join them were none other than Heechul and Yoochun.
“Wow, and they’re beauties. Not one, but two!”
Just like this, a dinner that was only supposed to be spent with Sulli had another four people added to the meal.
Changmin can’t deny that this dinner… it may not be a bad one.
-
“As long as you know your way home, it’s alright for you to have affairs outside,” Song Qian shouted at her husband, holding back her tears, “but how could you let Sulli catch you! Better yet, both Sulli and Changmin ran into your playboy encounters. How am I supposed to explain to her?”
Nichkhun’s eyes were filled with guilt. “Victoria, I’m sorry, I wasn’t-“
“Forget it,” Song Qian shook her head, cupping her face in her palms. Her head hurt; it has never hurt like this before. “It’s not the first day I’ve met you; don’t look for excuses, it’ll only hurt the both of us even more.”
Walking towards his wife, Nichkhun pulled her into his arms. “Honey, listen to me. None of those women out there can compare to you. In the end, I return to your side, don’t I?”
Song Qian remembered that she once had a similar discussion with Changmin before, and Changmin had done the same thing to her before, but the words these two men speak are so different. Those strong but gentle arms, those pair of bitter but passionate lips…
It had happened four or five years ago, but she remembers it clearly; as if it had only occurred yesterday. Suddenly her heart ached, causing her entire body to numb from top to bottom, but her mind has never been so clear before.
“Nichkhun.” When she backed out of his arms, they gazed into each other’s eyes in close proximity. “What difference is there between you and other men?”
After deep thought, Nichkhun looked at his wife with confusion. “Difference?” He repeated Song Qian’s words. “Maybe in the sense that no matter what, the one I love most is you? But I am me, I can’t really compare myself with other men.”
As expected, even their answers to that question is different. Nichkhun’s answer made Song Qian feel secure, but Changmin’s reply all those years ago had made Song Qian feel so insecure.
“Perhaps.”
She didn’t say anything more. Song Qian slowly made her way towards Sulli’s room, packing her items. Not long after, Sulli received a text message.
Unnie (23:17:03): (Sulli, come back to get your luggage. See if you can stay at Changmin’s tonight.)
Sulli (23:17:58): (Why? Mr. Nichkhun won’t let me live there anymore? He’s using this chance to his advantage, isn’t he?)
Unnie (23:25:11): (Don’t ask. Just come back. I’ll explain to you later.)
Sulli (23:26:39): (Unnie, I’m not going. I’m at Changmin oppa’s. I’ll get them tomorrow. I’m tired. Changmin oppa said he’ll buy me clothes and the things I need for tomorrow.)
Unnie (23:47:03): (Alright. Rest early, my Sulli.)
Changmin nervously stared at Sulli’s cell phone. “Why does she take so long to reply? You don’t think anything happened, do you?”
“Nichkhun wouldn’t hit unnie, he was the one at fault…” Sulli speculated. “Let’s not think too much. If something happened, Unnie would definitely ask us for help.”
“How do you know?” Changmin asked the young girl.
Sulli’s smile was enough to melt anyone’s heart. “Because unnie trusts you, Changmin oppa.”
-
“Do you absolutely have to leave?”
Song Qian didn’t reply, she only continued packing her sisters luggage.
“Are they really that angry with me?” Nichkhun questioned. “Can’t you give me another chance?”
“I’m not mad,” Song Qian clarified with him, “rather, I feel quite relieved. You helped me understand some things, seeing through them.”
Nichkhun furrowed his brows. He doesn’t understand. “Stay.”
“You’ve never stopped for me, and I’ve never changed for you. Under these circumstances, do you really think we should continue being together? I believe that we can both find someone better; you will find a girl who will be able to tame your heart of a playboy.”
That man watched the woman who had once belonged to him. “What about you?”
Song Qian smiled weakly as she replied. “Perhaps I have already missed my chance with the man who changed me before.”
-
Three months later, on the day that Song Qian reached the age of twenty six-becoming a truly matured lady-Song Qian bought a residence that belonged only to her and Sulli.
“You’re really finished with the divorce procedures?”
Song Qian smiled softly, nodding. “Yup, this time I’m really divorced.”
Chenglin thinned her lips, reaching over to embrace Song Qian by the shoulders. “Then from now on-“
“I don’t know! All I can say is that men really are not to be trusted, but you can’t not trust them either.” Song Qian took a deep breath as she said those words. “It’s really weird; after meeting with misfortune for so many times, I don’t know why, but I’m still not afraid. It’s probably because I’m too stupid; something’s wrong with my thought process.”
The voice that suddenly appeared by Song Qian’s ear gave her a scare. “You’re not stupid, you’re just ignorant.”
“You could have scared me to death, Shim Changmin!”
As if they returned to when they were eleven, the two of them began arguing continuously, picking fun out of each other. “Isn’t it true? You didn’t want me, who stayed beside you and protected you through the years, but would rather find trouble with men who only have feelings but no loyalty for you. If that’s not ignorance, then what is it?”
“You-“
Shim Changmin’s lips curled into a smirk, slowly leaning forward, gradually lowering himself closer to Song Qian’s lips. Song Qian’s entire body numbed in nervousness, both of her hands shaking; her eyes started to flutter shut. “Say you love me.”
When she opened her eyes, she met with a pair of enlarged, familiar pupils. “What?”
“Admit that you love me-Can’t you?”
Sincerity. A genuine heart.
This Shim Changmin, who has always stayed beside her, growing from a boy to a man, as always, has never given up on his feelings for her. Only, the two of them decided to hide their once unapproved feelings in an area deep inside their hearts. Now, he’s going to dig all of it up; he’s going to start over.
Love. Song Qian thinks: her love from him has never deducted in any way. She’s also never suspected her feelings before. Only, neither of them have ever admitted it themselves. Then, she’s going to permit herself to be that idiot who even confesses over ten years too late. “I lo-“
But to Changmin, some words don’t have to really be said aloud.
Although Changmin really wants to hear those three words, but he also has moments when he becomes afraid. Towards Song Qian, Changmin has never had any sense of security. Then, if Song Qian told him that she loved him, how will he react? How should he face it?
So, he chose to use actions to represent everything.
An embrace can speak more than a thousand words; a kiss can pronounce all of his feelings. Song Qian, who’s now in his arms and on his lips, should be able to feel them, right?
This time, Song Qian doesn’t hesitate. She uses all her strength, all her heart, to kiss him back. Her hands clutch onto the clothing clinging to his back. Breathing becomes hard, but she is unwilling to part with him.
Like this, can Changmin understand her thoughts and intentions? Does Changmin understand how much courage it takes for her to respond to him in such a way-in a way that she has never responded to any man before?
“Qian, really, promise me; in the future, no matter what, you can only belong to me, okay?”
“Idiot, you’re young but you’re already trying to control me?”
Changmin lifted her long, luscious black hair and brushed away her fringes, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Promise me. Hurry.”
“Can you not be like this in public?”
Furrowing his brows seriously, Changmin’s eyes seemed as though he had been pierced by an arrow. Speechless, Song Qian could only give in to the younger man. “I promise you. From now on, I am the Song Qian that only belongs to Shim Changmin. Are you satisfied?”
Shim Changmin eagerly nodded his head, gathering his girlfriend into his arms. “Qian, that year you once said that what we had would not last until eternity. Do you still think that way?”
She softly rested her head on his shoulder, shutting her eyes. “Yes.”
“Why?”
Song Qian wrapped her arms around Changmin’s waist, buring her face in his chest. “Because people change; even if people don’t change, their thoughts change. Maybe there will be a day when you’ll see me and think about why I’m not the way I used to be, or perhaps your feelings for me won’t change drastically, but there will be a difference. Under these circumstances, where can you find the definition, the meaning of, eternity?”
“In my heart.”
“Stop bluffing,” Song Qian said as she laughed, punching him on his back softly. Changmin laughed along, too; he admits, that was a bit too much, even for him. “So, we’ll never be able to attain eternity, but at least at this very moment we have each other’s most true feelings and sincerity. That’s enough, isn’t it?”
Nodding his head, Changmin hugged this girl with all his might, falling into that beautiful dream with her. “Indeed, it is.”
Although there is a difference between their love story and a fairytale, but their love is no less than that of a princess and a prince’s. Love that accumulated over more than ten years’ time, in a certain year, on a certain month, finally sprouted. Perhaps it would another ten years for it to blossom, but they aren’t in a rush and they aren’t impatient about it. Now, they have all the time in the world.
In this love that neither of them had planned, they were finally able to discover their faith and direction.
It was in themselves; it was with each other.
---END---
[Previous: Part 1]
Pairing: Changmin/Victoria
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Romance
Length: one-shot
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, SME does. Plot is mine.
Summary: Beautiful words and pretty lies gave her the security she wanted from the men she loved. He didn't give her any of it, but he was the only one who stayed from the beginning until the end.
Warning: UN-BETA'D. Originally written in Chinese and translated into Chinese in a rush without a go-over, so, probably contains many errors.
“I really can’t believe unnie really gave him another chance, returning to his side,” Sulli sighed dramatically, filled with pain and discomfort.
Changmin could only shake his head, watching his young and ignorant little sister sigh time and again. “Just let her do as she wishes. No matter if she gets hurt or if she’s happy, it’s all her own choice.”
“Stop pretending as though you don’t care,” Sulli furrowed her brows, glaring at him.
Just like Song Qian, Sulli had a pair of gentle and soothing orbs. “I’m not.”
“As if!” Sulli rolled her eyes at him. “Where have you gone over the past few weeks, oppa? I couldn’t find you anywhere-we were really worried about you!”
Changmin smiled softly, waving his hand to call a waiter. “Nothing. I went out to take a stroll, met a few old friends.”
“You have friends, too?” Sulli teased him, her eyes thinning into near nonexistence, laughing loudly.
“It’s true,” Changmin said, “I almost didn’t want to come back.”
Sulli pursed her lips, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t be like this.”
“I’m just joking,” Changmin shook his head, “why are you being so serious?”
“Out of all of us, you are the only one who isn’t being taken seriously. Do you have any more feelings towards unnie at all?”
Changmin took a deep breath. “What if I do and what if I don’t?”
“You-“
“Alright, stop talking about that. Every time I see you, it’s like this; you’re always frowning, yelling and shouting at me. Even if you’re not bored, I’m already tired of this talk,” Changmin retorted. “I just broke up with my girlfriend, letting her spit me in the face, and now I have to listen to you ramble on about sad things in my past. How could you?” Changmin faked a cry, complaining to the younger girl.
He raised an arm, calling for a waiter. All the dishes he ordered were Sulli’s favorite; her favorite entrée meat, her favorite soup, and her favorite desert.
Sulli rested her elbows on the table, her pale, soft chin resting in her palm. “You broke up again? Why? I thought you’d only been together for two or three months. You got sick of her so fast?”
“Child, watch your words,” Changmin lectured her playfully. “I really don’t understand how you and your sister can be so different. Your sister never offends people intentionally, but your every word carries a bit of poison in them.”
“Oh! You’re the one who brought unnie up, don’t blame me! Then do you have any more feelings for unnie now? You keep saying she’s this good and that good, but why have you never gone after her?” Sulli asked the man sitting across from her, the man who grew up with her sister, the Changmin oppa that she cared about most and cared most about her.
After going through so much the entire day, this gentleman was about to be pushed off the edge of sanity by this young girl. “I told you not to-“
“Look at yourself! Oppa, it’s not that I want to scold you, but why can’t you be like some of the other men out there-why can’t you go after her if you like her, and why can’t you give it your all if you love her? Maybe unnie will reject you because of your identity, status, or even the past you share together, but that’s also a type of relief. Unnie loves you, I can guarantee that, but why are you two-why are the two of you so stubborn!” At last, Sulli couldn’t hold back her frustration and exploded. She said everything she’s wanted to say, she shouted out to her hearts content.
Although it’s not the first time, Changmin is still slightly frightened. “It’s easy to say but hard to do, Sulli.”
“What’s so hard! It’s just that you don’t have the guts!”
Finishing what she had to say, scolding Changmin to her satisfaction, Sulli ultimately spent the rest of the evening in silence. She ate what she was supposed to eat, drank what she was supposed to drink, but she still looked so wronged, angry, unrelenting.
“Weird.” After they finished eating, Changmin took Sulli home, laughing inwardly as he watched the younger sister beside him that seemed as though she were about to cry. “None of this has anything to do with you, why do you care so much about it?”
“Because in this world, no one is more important to me than you and unnie to me.” Sulli looked into Changmin’s eyes seriously as she spoke. “You two have such a good relationship, you get along so well; why can’t the two of you just toss away all your imaginary differences?”
Changmin reached out, patting Sulli on the crown of her head. “How do you know that your sister won’t fall in love with her current husband?”
“Even if she falls in love with him, without trust, how long can they last?”
“Child, you understand more than I expected!” After saying this, Changmin smiled bitterly at the younger girl. “Alright, it’s late, your sister must be worried sick about you.”
Sulli nodded, jumping into her Changmin oppa’s embrace. “Changmin oppa, promise me, no matter what happens in the future, don’t leave unnie, okay? She needs you. You know that, right?”
“I know,” Changmin replied, holding the girl tightly. “Even if I leave any person, place, or thing, I won’t leave the side of you two mindless girls. Without me, how will the two of you continue living?”
“Aren’t I here?”
The two of them turned in the direction of the voice immediately, four eyes landing on Nichkhun, the new groom who had married not too long ago. Sulli narrowed her eyes, tightening her grasp on Changmin’s hand. She doesn’t know why, but she just doesn’t have any good feelings towards this man at all.
“Even if you aren’t here, I’ll take care of the sisters.” As Nichkhun spoke those words, his tone was cold and dry.
Changmin smiled stiffly. “That’s true. Then you don’t have to worry, child. You still have your brother in law.”
“Changmin oppa-“
Nichkhun stuffed his hands into his pant pockets, turning his face towards their house, shivering because of the cold. “Let’s go in. Your sister is about to go crazy because of you. If you don’t return soon, I think she’ll kill someone.”
“Go,” Changmin softly rubbed the little girl’s icy cold hands. “Let’s meet up another day.”
“Ok, you should head back home soon, too. Stop messing around with girls outside. Some people will be sad because of it.”
When he heard her words, Nichkhun froze in place.
“I know,” Changmin rolled his eyes, “you really know how to nag.”
Waving their hands, the two parted their ways onto two different roads. Upstairs, behind the window, there was another set of eyes watching Changmin’s leaving figure; it’s that pair of gentle, comfortable, big and round pair of eyes. Eyes that were only meant for Changmin.
They are a pair of helpless eyes that can only long for, yet, cannot possess because their love, which once soared in the season of romance, was put out too early by a wave of cold water. It’s too late to try to get it back, and it’s too late for them to try to shove it to back of their minds. They can only accept it; perhaps one day, when they face each other again, the two of them can open up a spot in their lives to settle the feelings they once had for each other.
But now, all they can do is wait.
-
“Can you stop hurting innocent women, Shim Changmin?”
Shim Changmin tilted his head to the side and the one he sees is his good friend of many years. “Kim Jaejoong, you’re so annoying. All day long, you only know how to kill off my enthusiasm. If you’re a friend, then play with me!”
“Is that woman called Song Qian really that great? Making our Shim Changmin think about her night and day, causing him to be so angry that he plays women as naturally as it is to breath. Although all these woman aren’t very decent, they don’t deserve such heartless treatment, do they?” Handsome looks, beauty, a flower-like appearance; this Kim Jaejoong definitely doesn’t seem like a simple person.
“Where’s Heechul hyung? He didn’t come with you?” Changmin asked.
Jaejoong shrugged his shoulders. “He should be here soon. Yoochun is waiting for me inside. How about you? I thought you said you were meeting your little sister? Why are you here all alone, drinking in misery?”
“She’s late,” Changmin complained with pursed lips. “That girl doesn’t even know to give me a phone call.”
Seeing his dongsaeng looking so bitterly worried, Jaejoong doesn’t feel very comfortable on the inside, either. “Did you dump another girlfriend? Or were you dumped this time?”
“I haven’t had one in a long time, that’s what’s hurting the most,” Changmin laughed.
Jaejoong found it miraculous, lifting his eyebrows. “How is that possible? Why?”
Changmin sighed. “My little sister won’t let me. She said if I mess around like that, someone would be unhappy.”
“So obedient! Oppa is the best!”
Both men were surprised by the weak, small voice. When they turned around, they were greeted by two young and beautiful girls.
Changmin, shocked, immediately averted his gaze back to the cup of alcohol in his hands. “Long time no see.”
“Yeah,” Song Qian nodded, “it really has been a long time.”
Noticing the awkwardness, Jaejoong immediately did a self-introduction. “Hello, I’m Kim Jaejoong. I’ve heard much about you two beautiful ladies; being able to meet you here really is my pleasure.”
“Changmin must have said a lot of bad stuff about us,” Song Qian and Sulli laughed. Hand in hand, the two sisters stuck together so closely that they were almost like conjoined twins.
Jaejoong smiled. “He didn’t say little.”
“Hey! Don’t lie! How could I possibly say anything bad about Sulli-she doesn’t have anything bad for me to talk about!” Changmin hurriedly explained. “Song Qian, on the other hand… there was a bit, more or less.”
Sulli widened her eyes into a glare, snow-white skin slowly simmering with red. “Oppa!”
“Changmin’s already flirting with girls this early in the day?”
The two who decided to join them were none other than Heechul and Yoochun.
“Wow, and they’re beauties. Not one, but two!”
Just like this, a dinner that was only supposed to be spent with Sulli had another four people added to the meal.
Changmin can’t deny that this dinner… it may not be a bad one.
-
“As long as you know your way home, it’s alright for you to have affairs outside,” Song Qian shouted at her husband, holding back her tears, “but how could you let Sulli catch you! Better yet, both Sulli and Changmin ran into your playboy encounters. How am I supposed to explain to her?”
Nichkhun’s eyes were filled with guilt. “Victoria, I’m sorry, I wasn’t-“
“Forget it,” Song Qian shook her head, cupping her face in her palms. Her head hurt; it has never hurt like this before. “It’s not the first day I’ve met you; don’t look for excuses, it’ll only hurt the both of us even more.”
Walking towards his wife, Nichkhun pulled her into his arms. “Honey, listen to me. None of those women out there can compare to you. In the end, I return to your side, don’t I?”
Song Qian remembered that she once had a similar discussion with Changmin before, and Changmin had done the same thing to her before, but the words these two men speak are so different. Those strong but gentle arms, those pair of bitter but passionate lips…
It had happened four or five years ago, but she remembers it clearly; as if it had only occurred yesterday. Suddenly her heart ached, causing her entire body to numb from top to bottom, but her mind has never been so clear before.
“Nichkhun.” When she backed out of his arms, they gazed into each other’s eyes in close proximity. “What difference is there between you and other men?”
After deep thought, Nichkhun looked at his wife with confusion. “Difference?” He repeated Song Qian’s words. “Maybe in the sense that no matter what, the one I love most is you? But I am me, I can’t really compare myself with other men.”
As expected, even their answers to that question is different. Nichkhun’s answer made Song Qian feel secure, but Changmin’s reply all those years ago had made Song Qian feel so insecure.
“Perhaps.”
She didn’t say anything more. Song Qian slowly made her way towards Sulli’s room, packing her items. Not long after, Sulli received a text message.
Unnie (23:17:03): (Sulli, come back to get your luggage. See if you can stay at Changmin’s tonight.)
Sulli (23:17:58): (Why? Mr. Nichkhun won’t let me live there anymore? He’s using this chance to his advantage, isn’t he?)
Unnie (23:25:11): (Don’t ask. Just come back. I’ll explain to you later.)
Sulli (23:26:39): (Unnie, I’m not going. I’m at Changmin oppa’s. I’ll get them tomorrow. I’m tired. Changmin oppa said he’ll buy me clothes and the things I need for tomorrow.)
Unnie (23:47:03): (Alright. Rest early, my Sulli.)
Changmin nervously stared at Sulli’s cell phone. “Why does she take so long to reply? You don’t think anything happened, do you?”
“Nichkhun wouldn’t hit unnie, he was the one at fault…” Sulli speculated. “Let’s not think too much. If something happened, Unnie would definitely ask us for help.”
“How do you know?” Changmin asked the young girl.
Sulli’s smile was enough to melt anyone’s heart. “Because unnie trusts you, Changmin oppa.”
-
“Do you absolutely have to leave?”
Song Qian didn’t reply, she only continued packing her sisters luggage.
“Are they really that angry with me?” Nichkhun questioned. “Can’t you give me another chance?”
“I’m not mad,” Song Qian clarified with him, “rather, I feel quite relieved. You helped me understand some things, seeing through them.”
Nichkhun furrowed his brows. He doesn’t understand. “Stay.”
“You’ve never stopped for me, and I’ve never changed for you. Under these circumstances, do you really think we should continue being together? I believe that we can both find someone better; you will find a girl who will be able to tame your heart of a playboy.”
That man watched the woman who had once belonged to him. “What about you?”
Song Qian smiled weakly as she replied. “Perhaps I have already missed my chance with the man who changed me before.”
-
Three months later, on the day that Song Qian reached the age of twenty six-becoming a truly matured lady-Song Qian bought a residence that belonged only to her and Sulli.
“You’re really finished with the divorce procedures?”
Song Qian smiled softly, nodding. “Yup, this time I’m really divorced.”
Chenglin thinned her lips, reaching over to embrace Song Qian by the shoulders. “Then from now on-“
“I don’t know! All I can say is that men really are not to be trusted, but you can’t not trust them either.” Song Qian took a deep breath as she said those words. “It’s really weird; after meeting with misfortune for so many times, I don’t know why, but I’m still not afraid. It’s probably because I’m too stupid; something’s wrong with my thought process.”
The voice that suddenly appeared by Song Qian’s ear gave her a scare. “You’re not stupid, you’re just ignorant.”
“You could have scared me to death, Shim Changmin!”
As if they returned to when they were eleven, the two of them began arguing continuously, picking fun out of each other. “Isn’t it true? You didn’t want me, who stayed beside you and protected you through the years, but would rather find trouble with men who only have feelings but no loyalty for you. If that’s not ignorance, then what is it?”
“You-“
Shim Changmin’s lips curled into a smirk, slowly leaning forward, gradually lowering himself closer to Song Qian’s lips. Song Qian’s entire body numbed in nervousness, both of her hands shaking; her eyes started to flutter shut. “Say you love me.”
When she opened her eyes, she met with a pair of enlarged, familiar pupils. “What?”
“Admit that you love me-Can’t you?”
Sincerity. A genuine heart.
This Shim Changmin, who has always stayed beside her, growing from a boy to a man, as always, has never given up on his feelings for her. Only, the two of them decided to hide their once unapproved feelings in an area deep inside their hearts. Now, he’s going to dig all of it up; he’s going to start over.
Love. Song Qian thinks: her love from him has never deducted in any way. She’s also never suspected her feelings before. Only, neither of them have ever admitted it themselves. Then, she’s going to permit herself to be that idiot who even confesses over ten years too late. “I lo-“
But to Changmin, some words don’t have to really be said aloud.
Although Changmin really wants to hear those three words, but he also has moments when he becomes afraid. Towards Song Qian, Changmin has never had any sense of security. Then, if Song Qian told him that she loved him, how will he react? How should he face it?
So, he chose to use actions to represent everything.
An embrace can speak more than a thousand words; a kiss can pronounce all of his feelings. Song Qian, who’s now in his arms and on his lips, should be able to feel them, right?
This time, Song Qian doesn’t hesitate. She uses all her strength, all her heart, to kiss him back. Her hands clutch onto the clothing clinging to his back. Breathing becomes hard, but she is unwilling to part with him.
Like this, can Changmin understand her thoughts and intentions? Does Changmin understand how much courage it takes for her to respond to him in such a way-in a way that she has never responded to any man before?
“Qian, really, promise me; in the future, no matter what, you can only belong to me, okay?”
“Idiot, you’re young but you’re already trying to control me?”
Changmin lifted her long, luscious black hair and brushed away her fringes, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Promise me. Hurry.”
“Can you not be like this in public?”
Furrowing his brows seriously, Changmin’s eyes seemed as though he had been pierced by an arrow. Speechless, Song Qian could only give in to the younger man. “I promise you. From now on, I am the Song Qian that only belongs to Shim Changmin. Are you satisfied?”
Shim Changmin eagerly nodded his head, gathering his girlfriend into his arms. “Qian, that year you once said that what we had would not last until eternity. Do you still think that way?”
She softly rested her head on his shoulder, shutting her eyes. “Yes.”
“Why?”
Song Qian wrapped her arms around Changmin’s waist, buring her face in his chest. “Because people change; even if people don’t change, their thoughts change. Maybe there will be a day when you’ll see me and think about why I’m not the way I used to be, or perhaps your feelings for me won’t change drastically, but there will be a difference. Under these circumstances, where can you find the definition, the meaning of, eternity?”
“In my heart.”
“Stop bluffing,” Song Qian said as she laughed, punching him on his back softly. Changmin laughed along, too; he admits, that was a bit too much, even for him. “So, we’ll never be able to attain eternity, but at least at this very moment we have each other’s most true feelings and sincerity. That’s enough, isn’t it?”
Nodding his head, Changmin hugged this girl with all his might, falling into that beautiful dream with her. “Indeed, it is.”
Although there is a difference between their love story and a fairytale, but their love is no less than that of a princess and a prince’s. Love that accumulated over more than ten years’ time, in a certain year, on a certain month, finally sprouted. Perhaps it would another ten years for it to blossom, but they aren’t in a rush and they aren’t impatient about it. Now, they have all the time in the world.
In this love that neither of them had planned, they were finally able to discover their faith and direction.
It was in themselves; it was with each other.
---END---
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