Mask of Blindness - Chapter 2
Title: Mask of Blindness
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU/minor!Angst/Romance
Length: Mini-series (2/?)
Pairing: main!Hanchul
Warning: major!OOC
Disclaimer: Don't own any of them, SME does. Plot is mine.
Summary: Things aren't always how they appear to be; reality is a lot closer than it may seem. So how do you trust your judgment? You don't. You simply don't.
Two months have passed and Heechul hasn't heard a single thing from Hankyung. Another month rolls by and Heechul deems that it's been too long, which means Hankyung must not have meant what he said - he must have been fooling with him.
“You've been quite dejected lately,” Kyuhyun, a student of his, points out to him after his lecture.
Heechul smiles weakly. “You're right, I have been feeling abnormally fatigued.” He doesn't really know why he confides in Kyuhyun but this boy is sturdy and trustworthy - Heechul feels like he can trust him.
“Maybe you should take a break?” Kyuhyun suggests.
“No,” Heechul chuckles, “I'll be fine.”
A hand lands on Heechul's shoulder and Heechul places a hand over Kyuhyun's. “Are you sure?” the boy asks.
“I'm positive,” Heechul reassures, gazing in the boys general direction, “thank you, Kyuhyun.”
A smile breaks out on Kyuhyun's lips as he happily jumps in front of Heechul's eyes. “No pro-”
“Ahem.”
Kyuhyun quirks a brow at the stranger - a face he does not recognize - in silent questioning.
“If it's alright, I'd like to speak with the professor alone.”
Heechul nods with a small smile. “You've worked hard today, Kyuhyun. Come to my office if you ever have any questions, I'll be glad to answer them. I'll see you next class?”
“Definitely,” Kyuhyun grins before gathering his utensils and leaving the classroom - not without taking one last glance at the stranger - to the two.
Heechul resumes to feeling around his desk, trying to pack his items, as he waits for the student to ask him questions. The student doesn't, and Heechul begins to worry. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Yes,” the person replies, “I'd love it if you could direct me to your office and I could, you know, commit to some deep conversation with you.”
Heechul stiffens at the recognition of the voice. “I didn't think you'd come.”
“You mean you didn't think I was serious,” Hankyung corrects.
“It's hard to have people take you seriously when you're disabled,” Heechul explains.
Hankyung rolls his eyes. “You're the blind one, not me. I mean everything I say; I take everyone seriously and everyone takes me seriously.”
“You don't know how much your words sting, do you?” Heechul laughs awkwardly. “So? Did I win the sponsorship?”
“Is that all you care about?” Hankyung retorts.
Heechul shrugs. “What more is there?”
“What more isn't there?” Hankyung counters.
Slender fingers linger around Heechul's flushed cheeks, running down his jaw and over the lobe of his right ear. “What are you doing?” Heechul chokes.
“You're an amazing professor,” Hankyung admits, “this is the fourth class of yours I've attended and every time I drop by, I learn something fascinating.”
“You're into psychology?” Heechul asks.
Hankyung laughs low in his throat. “No, I'm not. Well, I mean, I am - but not as much as I'm into you. I meant that every time I look at you, watch you, listen to you, I learn something interesting about you that boggles my mind.”
“Is this how you always go about fooling with people?” Heechul scoffs.
Hankyung shrugs. “Maybe.”
“Did I or did I not get the sponsorship?” Heechul asks irritably. He's had enough of Hankyung's pointless teasing - he's had enough of Hankyung.
Hankyung sighs sluggishly. “You did.”
“Thank you,” Heechul politely replies. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm still on duty for planning hour and it's not very convenient for me to waste my time speaking about nonsensical things with-”
“Do me a favor.”
Heechul pauses in his step, his crane stretched out ahead of him. “What favor?”
“Spend a night with me.”
“Have you lost your mind?” Heechul churns at him.
Hankyung shakes his head, taking a silent step closer to Heechul. “Just one night. Just spend one night with me, that's all I ask.”
“Do I look like some filthy, worthless idiot to you?” Heechul seethes through his teeth. “What is it that you want from me - an ugly, blind, helpless person like me?”
“You're not ugly,” Hankyung whispers against his ear, hands snaking around his waist, “neither are you filthy or worthless. Please, Heechul? Just one night, spend this night with me.”
Heechul doesn't know why Hankyung is like this, why Hankyung wants him so badly, and so he only knows how to repeatedly reject him and push him away, both physically and emotionally, until Hankyung has had enough and becomes irritated.
“What is it about me that's undesirable?” Hankyung breathes through his nose. “Give me one good reason you don't want me the way I want you.”
Perhaps Hankyung has forgotten that Heechul doesn't have eyes, Heechul thinks. He remembers Sungmin using the words mighty fine to describe Hankyung - or he assumed it was Hankyung, at least - but he didn't have the eyes to see it then and he still doesn't have the eyes to confirm it now. “Your arrogance,” is what Heechul conjures as a reply.
“Confidence,” Hankyung corrects nobly, “not arrogance.”
Heechul shakes his head. “No, it's arrogance.”
“I knew you were blind, but I didn't think you were this blind,” Hankyung grumbles.
“I knew you were inconsiderate,” Heechul retorts, “but I didn't think you were this disrespectful.” His neck snaps and he starts heading for the exit, for anywhere but this classroom, and Hankyung is left standing on his own, watching Heechul's slow, awkwardly departing figure.
“Damn it,” he hisses under his breath, “damn it all.”
Heechul doesn't miss a single word as he steps out of sight and his expression drops. “It's harder than you think,” he mutters to himself, “to accept an offer so tempting, knowing it's only out of a brief moments interest - that it's not at all genuine.”
But then Heechul thinks that maybe what he needs aren't feelings from the heart, because people who are disabled rarely ever receive authentic treatment. What they get are actions out of sympathy, people who feel bad for them because they are at a disadvantage, because they can be taken advantage of.
Because they are useless.
Heechul feels useless, even more so now after his encounter with Hankyung, and something in his chest is withering, it's doting on pain and quivering uncontrollably. It's a feeling that Heechul cannot pinpoint - he doesn't understand why his heart is reacting the way it is, why Hankyung emits a sense of familiarity - and he wishes it would just disappear.
Heechul wishes he could just disappear.
-
Visits from Hankyung start occurring more and more often and Heechul wonders if that man really has a job because, in all honesty, Hankyung doesn't seem to have a life.
“He's persistent,” Sungmin nudges Heechul in the ribs.
Heechul tries to shove Sungmin's elbow away but only meets with a rush of cold air. “He's here again?” he asks. “Why won't he just give up?”
Sungmin doesn't really understand why Heechul is so determined not to give this Hankyung guy a chance, or even an opportunity to speak to him properly, but he doesn't ask - he never does - because he doesn't want to pry on Heechul's privacy. “There's something different about him today.”
There's a moment of silence between the best friends and Sungmin hears a faint breath, hesitance, from the older man.
“Maybe you should talk to him,” Sungmin adds.
“I don't want-”
Sungmin reaches for the door to the staff room but prevents Heechul from entering. “Looks like you don't have a choice, hyung.”
Heechul purses his lips. “What do you-”
“Do you have a moment?”
There is a firm grip on his forearm and before Heechul can say no, Hankyung snatches the crane out of his hand and pulls him away from the staff room entrance to the side of the building. “What is it?” Heechul snaps, writhing his arm in Hankyung's hold.
“Why are you being so hostile towards me - only me?” Hankyung asks, his words laced together by the threads of his accent.
His words are silky, his voice thick and creamy, and Heechul shudders - unsure of whether it is out of anxiety or fear - as he attempts at conjugating his own words, which turn out to be a bit too unconvincing for his own liking. “I'm not.”
“Do I scare you?” The man asks him.
“No,” Heechul lies.
Hankyung sighs. “Why do I scare you?”
“I already said-”
Before his sentence can be finished, Heechul feels long fingers wrapping around his slim neck as he's being lunged forward, his lips colliding against thin ones. He tries to protest in the midst of their sloppy kiss, his words muffled by Hankyung's skilled lips, and he feels himself losing the strength to resist - his knees buckling and his arms growing heavy against Hankyung's spine.
Heechul is afraid - his lips palpitate against Hankyung's - and his heart is beating so fast he can feel it in every extreme of his body. None of this feels good, none of this feels right, and Heechul is terrified, mortified, by what is happening.
His body is responding to something he doesn't want, he's giving in to something he can't understand and he can't control himself; he feels so open and so vulnerable.
That's exactly what Heechul is: vulnerable.
“You're not fighting back?” Hankyung breathes against his teeth.
“What's the point?” Heechul scoffs, “it's not like I could stop you from doing anything. I'm vulnerable, I'm at a disadvantage, I can't see.”
Hankyung smiles falsely, not really hearing anything Heechul is saying to him. His hand slides inside Heechul's shirt, up the small of Heechul's back, as he pulls Heechul closer. “What did you say?”
“Is this all you care about?” Heechul flinches, the sensation of Hankyung's tongue running down the side of his neck sending shivers down his spine.
“What more is there?” Hankyung mocks, breathing heavily as he pushes Heechul against the wall and grinds their bodies together heatedly.
Heechul blinks, trying to see beyond the darkness in his eyes, but his mind is a blank; as blank as his expression. “That's a good question,” he whimpers, his fists tightening in synchronization with his pants as Hankyung fists it, “what more is there?”
-
“You're weird recently.”
Hankyung doesn't bother looking up from the stack of papers on his desk - his hair's a mess and his thoughts are jumbled - and he randomly picks something off of his table and throws it in the direction of the shadowed man sitting across from him.
“Geez,” Eunhyuk scowls, knocking the sculpture away before it hits him, “way to treat a worried friend.”
“Get out,” Hankyung snarls.
Eunhyuk crosses his arms over his chest, raising a single brow with a parched lips. “What's with you lately? You haven't been out much and you haven't been playing around with us brothers, you act like you're about to shrivel up and die in this cave.”
“I'm busy,” Hankyung retorts, “I don't have time.”
“You've been saying that the past six weeks. Come on now, how busy could you be?”
Silence ensues and Eunhyuk hears the barely audible sigh from the older man.
“This is odd,” Eunhyuk adds, leaning back lazily in his seat, “this is definitely awkward.”
Hankyung surrenders, throwing himself against the back of the chair and squeezing his eyes shut.
“What have you been so busy with?” Eunhyuk asks, and this is the first time in a long while that they've had a simple conversation - a human-like, common talk.
“Classes,” Hankyung mutters, “I've been attending lectures.”
Eunhyuk's laugh is stiff, unbelieving. “You graduated years ago. Let's be serious, alright?”
“I'm serious,” Hankyung frowns, “never been so serious in my life.”
This is a bad sign, Eunhyuk thinks. People like them weren't meant to be serious - were never made to be serious - and that was a fact that shouldn't change, should never change. “That's risky,” is what he forces out of his upturned lips, “for such a successful businessman, you sure fail at strategic reasoning. Serious? The likes of us never use that word easily, hyung. Never.”
“I know,” is the sullen reply that Eunhyuk receives. “I know.”
“We'll fix this,” Eunhyuk sighs, standing from his seat and heading for the door. “I'll wait for you with Yesung hyung after work. We'll go out - venture - until you forget about the word 'serious'. We'll make it work.”
There's this urge, a strong desire, for Hankyung to say no but he doesn't. “Alright,” he nods, releasing a long breath of air through his teeth, “I'll see you two later.”
And they follow along with their plan, making their way to the classiest night club in the city walk, and dance their night away. There are a collection of lookers - young boys who are eager for attention - and the three friends find themselves enjoying their night, forgetting about their worries, as they down shot after shot of alcohol, dancing to song after song against heated and sweating bodies.
Hankyung forgets about Heechul - about that beautiful face and gorgeous, shaken eyes - and finds company, comfort, in a stranger that knows how to touch him in all the right places, playing and teasing him like an expert.
There's no more guilt, no more hesitancy, as they trail their way to an empty room and strip each other of their clothes - of the false pretenses - and bask in the sensation of each others fingers along the others chest, lips grazing against each others skin, body wanting and needing more. They are throbbing, aching, longing to be in each other - for each other - until they finally find a consensual rhythm and dance to their new found music made of moans and gasps, of quickened breaths and heavy hisses.
Until night fades away and the alcohol starts to lose its affect.
Then Hankyung stares at the stranger in his arms, a soundly sleeping teenager with nothing but an innocent smile, completely vulnerable, and smirks.
“This is what I want,” he silently whispers, running his lips against the boys cheek one last time before slowly climbing off the table, “this is what I need.”
When he meets with Yesung later that day, the other man furrows his brows at him. “How was it?”
“Good,” Hankyung shrugs slyly. “Isn't it always?”
Yesung laughs heartily, throwing an arm over his friend's shoulder. “Feeling better?”
The question lingers in Hankyung's head for a few seconds too long and he starts to worry, to panic. “Yeah,” he says, as convincingly as he can manage, “definitely.”
“Right,” Yesung nods sluggishly.
Hankyung knows that Yesung doesn't believe him, he doesn't really believe himself, but neither decide to prolong that conversation. “Up for another round tonight?” Yesung asks.
“Yeah,” Hankyung repeats, “definitely.”
-
Sungmin can't quite pinpoint what it is that's wrong with Heechul as of late, but he knows that something must have happened. “You act like you're some kind of living bacteria,” he accuses, “stop scrubbing yourself with sanitizer, it dries your skin.”
“I feel dirty,” Heechul replies, his voice coarse and unusually deep, “I feel disgusting.”
The younger boy quickly kneels beside Heechul at the desk. “Are you alright?”
Heechul simply shook his head. “Don't worry about it. It's not your fault, so-”
“So it's true.”
The animosity in Sungmin's voice was very obvious and Heechul was shocked, frightened, by the younger man's tone. “No, nothing happened. Stop thinking about it and just leave it alone.”
“But-”
“No buts.”
Sungmin hears the finality in Heechul's tone and drops the issue - he stops speaking about it, but never stops thinking about it - for a lighter topic. “Would you like to join me for lunch? I spent a long time preparing it this morning. It would be nice if you would join me, instead of locking yourself in your office.”
“Sungmin, I-”
“No buts,” Sungmin mocks.
Heechul smiles, nodding his head lightly. “Yeah, I'll meet you in the lounge after class.”
“Good,” Sungmin sighs in relief, “that's good.”
Chapter 1 | Chapter 3