S of C
Been a while since I've posted. So much in-flow of information, emotions and decisions; taken a while to process all of it.
And so -- this might be a bit "Stream of Consciousness" for ya'all.
Topic 1.
I wonder if I'm losing my mind. I'm into the second week of the rental car (rented as a result of my accident). Twice today I found myself pushing for a cluth (rental is an automatic -- truck a standard). I'm talking out loud to myself. Part of it is a result of the retreat. The biggest message I came home with was "How" do I want to live the years I have left.
And yes, the circumstances of the accident have made me think about mortality more than I might have.
The disruption is disturbing -- and I hope for stability soon.
Topic 2.
K and I had a big fight Tuesday night. I repeatedly asked for a time-out, but she was intense. Wednesday she announced she thought she was ready to move out -- and had a plan for doing so.
Truth is, she is probably ready for this -- and it will be good for her.
But I had a few reactions to it.
I will miss her. Someone reminded me today that God brought us together for a purpose. That is so clear to me. She is so much more stable and focused than she was 6 months ago. I had assumed she'd be with me until she was 19 (and, hopefully, she'd improve in such things as respecting the rights and privacies of a room-mate). But now she wants to move out this month.
I am excited about being on my own in the next couple months. Not that I want to get rid of her -- but that I am looking forward to being in my own place.
There's a bit of trepidition as well. Will I be lonely? Will I slide into slackerdom on my recovery and growth? Will she disconnect from me once she's on her own?
I don't know the answers to those questions. I just know that I cannot know God's plan for me and so -- I lean into this change.
To be continued...
And so -- this might be a bit "Stream of Consciousness" for ya'all.
Topic 1.
I wonder if I'm losing my mind. I'm into the second week of the rental car (rented as a result of my accident). Twice today I found myself pushing for a cluth (rental is an automatic -- truck a standard). I'm talking out loud to myself. Part of it is a result of the retreat. The biggest message I came home with was "How" do I want to live the years I have left.
And yes, the circumstances of the accident have made me think about mortality more than I might have.
The disruption is disturbing -- and I hope for stability soon.
Topic 2.
K and I had a big fight Tuesday night. I repeatedly asked for a time-out, but she was intense. Wednesday she announced she thought she was ready to move out -- and had a plan for doing so.
Truth is, she is probably ready for this -- and it will be good for her.
But I had a few reactions to it.
I will miss her. Someone reminded me today that God brought us together for a purpose. That is so clear to me. She is so much more stable and focused than she was 6 months ago. I had assumed she'd be with me until she was 19 (and, hopefully, she'd improve in such things as respecting the rights and privacies of a room-mate). But now she wants to move out this month.
I am excited about being on my own in the next couple months. Not that I want to get rid of her -- but that I am looking forward to being in my own place.
There's a bit of trepidition as well. Will I be lonely? Will I slide into slackerdom on my recovery and growth? Will she disconnect from me once she's on her own?
I don't know the answers to those questions. I just know that I cannot know God's plan for me and so -- I lean into this change.
To be continued...