Day 16 - Fic: Team MWPP: Days of Dust

[rsgamesmods]

Team: MWPP
Title: Days of Dust
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language
Word Count: ~5,200
Summary: It all starts on a bench. Maybe it isn't special or fantastic, but if you try hard enough, anything's possible.
Notes: Title taken from the song I Will Wait by Mumford and Sons. Huge thanks to E for the wonderful beta job and for being so very patient with

Comments

[huldrejenta]

You've got such beautiful descriptions!
The way the seasons come and go, everything the bench has seen as if it's a living being - it's all told in such a vivid language.
Your descriptions of the boys are also lovely, and I especially like this about Remus:
His brown hair glints in the sunlight between the swaying, creaking branches of the trees and he hugs his limbs closely to his body, frail-looking knees supporting a heavy book.
It's very easy to imagine that little boy.

I really like the idea of them having a place that's theirs, a place where they meet when they're not at Hogwarts, and I like that so many crucial events in their childhood and youth take place here. It gives such a nice structure to the story, and it's very sweet and romantic!

And this is wonderful:
'Remus Lupin, this is your key. A key which I would like you to use every day, especially when you move all your things in, which means I would like you to move in with me, which means I would like you to share my bed and make me breakfast and maybe sometimes I'll

[abyss_valkyrie]

Oh my god!ohemgeeeee!if I were to quote everything I like in this fic,I'd end up quoting your entire story which is not cool,I'm sure

[pavlablack]

This is so gorgeously written. I especially love the beginning parts-the description of the park and the bench was beautiful and evocative, and I like how we get to know Sirius and Remus slowly through their interactions, from their first meeting all the way to their declaration of love at the end. I love that it starts out with lots of exposition and then moves into overheard words and phrases relating to Hogwarts and then full-fledged dialogue-driven scenes. At first it feels like we’re just watching them from afar but then you pull us closer in and I thought that was a really intriguing and effective storytelling device. You also deal with two tropes of their relationship-the boys finding out about Remus’s lycanthropy and the prank on Snape-in a way I haven’t seen done before. I like that the first helps define the second because it clarifies that Sirius never saw Remus as someone who could hurt anyone, which in his mind justifies him sending Snape down to the Shack. Love the happy ending too, and that you emphasized the bench and

[mommyconk]

This is very nicely done, with the bench a witness to their friendship. You have lovely descriptions, I can almost feel all the snow and the cold. I really can picture Sirius sitting there scuffing his shoes on the ground. A very nice take on the prank and the forgiveness. Great story

[queenkerosene]

I feel like this story really took a fresh perspective to some of the themes that are ingrained in Remus/Sirius. I enjoyed that it took almost an outside perspective, exploring moments in Hogwarts in an outside place. Love the idea of them having met prior to being at Hogwarts, too -- I don't know if I've really ever seen that anywhere else. And I particularly like the line where Remus asks for a bookshelf at Sirius' place.