nightful events......

[paige__matthews]

I was more than unsatisfied with the whole situation. After I hugged her she left the attic and I was alone to do some thinking. Which was of course bad in itself but what else could you do? I sat down staring at the spell I had started to write. I threw it to the ground before I could get tempted. If only there was one tiny thing I could do to

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[seerxander]

I heard something in the attic and being as I had no one to talk to and everyone else was busy I walked to the attic to see what it was. When I got there I noticed...Paige I think that is her name I noticed her sitting or rather laying on the couch eating ice cream.

"Umm Paige is it? You ok?"

[paige__matthews]

I quickly slipped in the comfort that I call an old creaky couch. I took a few more bites of Ben and Jerry's bliss before drawing my attention to the ceiling. It was old, had spider webs and I was sure it could cave at any given minute. With all the spells that had went wrong here I didn't know why it hadn't already. I let out a sigh as I heard someone come in.

I really didn't know what exactly to say to him. We hadn't really engaged in any type of conversation before. I quickly sat up and offered him a bite of my ice cream.

"I'm fine, just a little..."

I paused not exactly knowing what to say to him. I didn't even really know his name so expressing my feeling right now didn't seem like the perfect opportunity.

[seerxander]

I walked over and sat on the floor in front of her looking up at her with my one eye.

"I don't know if you remember me, but I am Xander. I don't expect you to remember me it has been years...I just wanted to see if you were ok. You seemed upset at the trial..I mean we all were, but yeah..."

I didn't know what else to say and keeping my mouth shut seemed like the stellar plan here.

[paige__matthews]

I took another bite and slowly started to remember him. Of course it was with two eyes but I guess alot has changed even for him. I let out a sigh then handed him the ice cream. I crossed my arms and and slumped back in the chair.

"Yeah there's alot of that going around..."

I didn't know exactly how to say everything on my mind. It was all traveling a little too fast in my head. To put words into it didn't seem like it would be that helpful. I could sure use some of Dr. Laura's advise about now. I let out one more sigh,

"I just wish she would let me help her..."

[seerxander]

I smile at her then she brings Julie up I move closer.

"What do you mean help her?"

I asked. I was always the clueless one.

"Did something else happen?"

[paige__matthews]

I put my elbows on my knees and rested my hand on my shoulders. There was a lot to tell and when I looked at him he looked like someone I could talk too. I lightly smiled and took a deep breath. I remember what Julie and I had talked about and the desire to help with just a magical spell.

"After Round two of Prosecutor I was so angry. I wanted him to feel her pain and know what she had been through..."

I paused as I tried to watch his reaction to all of this. It didn't really ease my pain his face looked sort of blank. I tilted my head to the side and looked onward.

"That's when I came up here and wrote this." I handed him the piece of paper. "I would have just went ahead and casted it but...Julie came in"

I put my head down this time. It was hard for me to carrying on the conversation about Julie and I. It was almost impossible for me to know I can't do anything.

"Have you ever felt so helpless to a situation and have the desperate need to do something?"

[seerxander]

I let out a soft chuckle. I couldn't believe that she was feeling the same way I always did when she had all the power.

"I know completely. I have never had any more power than to see what happens around me, when..well when Caleb did this..."

I pointed to my eye

"I lost the one power I had."

I said softly

"Well power in the sense of lack of power. I mean if you can call seeing what happens around you when others miss it a power. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't hear all those stupid cyclopes or poke an eye out jokes."

[paige__matthews]

I watched as he pointed to his eye. I might sound stupid of me but I didn't even notice it before. I almost immediately started to feel bad for him. He seemed like a really nice guy and for him to call through all of this didn't seem right

[seerxander]

I pulled back from her. I had seen Willow use magicks for her own personal use in Sunnydale and it nearly destroyed her. I wasn't going to let this amazing woman go down the same path when I could live perfectly with one eye.

"Paige..it..I mean I can live fine with just one eye."

She gave me a look I smiled and placed my hand softly on her cheek.

"What I mean is, magicks for personal use nearly killed Willow, it was like a drug for her, a very very bad drug...I just don't want that for you...not when I am perfectly ok with my one eye."

I said softly. I mean yeah she doesn't know how it happened and I could sit back and say oh woe is me and beg for her to heal the eye that the mean evil preacher man took away or I can be happy he didn't take both and work with what I have. I mean there are people like Julie who are a lot worse off.

[paige__matthews]

I couldn't help but stare at him. It seemed odd that he was quick to panic on such an issue. I had also remember what Willow had been through but this wasn't the same. I pulled my hand up to his, I could see he was very worried for a moment.

"It's ok.."

I couldn't help but wonder what situations he's been through to make him so jumpy. Sure this could be considered personal gain if I was using magic, dark magic. This wasn't for me, I just wanted to help him.

"I'm half-whitlighter. It's what whitlighters do, we heal the innocent.."

I lightly rubbed my thumb accrossed the back of his hand. I wanted to reassure him that everything would be fine and this is something that won't make me an addict. Of course there was the million other spells Phoebe, Piper and I had cast at different times. We had also gone evil at different times too. This was something I could keep from him.

"There is nothing to worry about. I had to heal my real dad one time and I didn't go all evil after that. I know what I'm doing, trust me."

[seerxander]

she was so stubborn.

"Are you sure you are not related to Will? She is about as stubborn as you."

I sighed

"I won't stop you, but please know that you don't have to do this..I mean I can survive..one eye and all"

I smiled

"I mean yeah an evil preacher man took my eye with his thumb in an effort to seperate Buffy from all of us and make it easier for the first to stop us, but really...there is much worse out there than Caleb the evil preacher man"

Oh god Willow's yammering has worn off on me

[paige__matthews]

I lightly laughed as he joked about Willow and I. We did have some similarities but not much. I tried to keep up as smile as I held onto his hand. I knew he was worried and all I just didn't think it was a big deal.

"it will be ok, It's harm none do as ye will type sorta thing. Besides it's not personal gain if I'm not involved."

I pulled up his hand hoping that I could have his approval. Without that I wasn't about to just do it anyway.

I paid close attention to the story of his lost eye. It even made me feel a bit better about healing him. Even if an evil preacher man did this he was still evil. That made the green light for me, evil hurts innocent, I save innocent. It's the correct connection.

"Then that makes it more worth it. If something evil done this to you then it would be fine. Besides Leo heals us all the time with just minor cuts and scrapes."

It was true but that was more on the boys and Pipers side..still. I gave his hand a squeeze as I leaned closer to take a look. I hoped I hadn't completely freaked him out.

[seerxander]

"I just don't think I need the eye..I mean yeah I need the eye, but I can be just fine without it. I don't think that I am that bad off, if that makes sense."

I looked at her she really wanted to do this and it made me want it which made me feel horrible.

"Look, if this is something you feel you have to do, then I won't stop you. I just don't want this to keep you from helping someone else...Deal?"

[paige__matthews]

I tilted my head as he continued on about not healing his eye. I knew that he was worried about the 'harm none do what ye will' It's not like it gives an easy meaning. It's actually very open to anything really. I smiled as I place both of my hands near his eye.

"You got a deal.."

Now the whole process was a tricky one and the trigger was love. I had love I knew I did but thinking about something that I love was harder than it looks. I thought about Piper and Phoebe but it didn't help, then I thought about my parents.

"Hmm.."

I felt my hands more than I did before. I felt a certain warmth sensation. I felt the pain he had endured when this happened. The jagged finger coursing through his eyes and the blood dripping down. Mostly I felt the pain of it all, it hurt for a moment then settle down slowly. When the pretty lights faded it wall all done. I smiled before feeling a jerk in my stomach.

"there all better..."