The chapters of my life
I have had seven definite chapters in my life:
- pre Argentina (age 0-16)
- Argentina (age 16-17)
- Between Argentina and Mexico (age 17-21)
- Mexico (age 22)
- Return to Melbourne (age 23)
- Canberra (age 23-26)
- Sydney (age 26-28)
Pre-Argentina I was just fucked up; I mean something went seriously wrong between the pictures of me as a happy child and the reality of me as a child... but I am just about over that and (probably) glad I went through it.
Argentina was as if someone turned the light on. All of a sudden people liked me, I liked me and I had a chance to reflect on reality. Before I left for Argentina I was told not to get into conversations about religion or politics; I failed on both counts and when you combine my discovery that I could actually drink a lot by most people's standard, well it made for an end to the advanced math I was studying before I left.
Between Argentina and Mexico I was suddenly older than everyone (even those much older than me!) and spent a lot of time doing volunteer work, camping, hiking, drinking and having a good time. Life was pretty easy and all my records and results through this period show that. Ironically, it was painfully obvious to me how much I still had to learn about women, relationships and ultimately myself during this time. This chapter of my life begun to close the night my spanish professor said to me "...pero Ross, hablas bien." From there I left the long term girlfriend, did lots of drugs and definitely made the best friend of my entire life.
Mexico was my crisis of faith. When I decided to go to Mexico everything was up in the air, I didn't know who I was, what I wanted, or how I wanted to get there. I went to Mexico to find religion and friendship. I found the friendship in less than a week when I reconnected with a friend from Argentina and to this day there is this one moment that will forever define the value of all relationships for me. I found religion somewhere between Merida and London, ironically, when I did some more drugs with an old, old friend from high school. I don't regret the drugs; they were a significant contributor to my growth and without them I would still be that pre-Argentina person who I didn't like, and for that matter, no one else liked. Mexico, and all the people that were part of it, is one of the most significant chapters in my life...
Returning to Melbourne was interesting because my parents were on the verge of separating, I was in this euphoric post-finding-of-religion-phase and wanted nothing more than to find people to share that with. I struggled initially with that, but between a few people and situations, I found my outlets. Interestingly I remember this time often for the time Mum and I would spend together eating lunch most days. Working from home most of the time on my thesis meant that mum and I would be in our respective 'studys' and catch up for lunch. The other significant thing about this period was that I met Caryn. History will look back at this and probably say it was the most significant moment of my life, but at the time, despite being aware that I was going to meet this amazing girl (the queen of swords) for over a year, I still didn't quite understand (and some might argue that I still don't understand!). This chapter ended with me going to Canberra and Caryn and I saying we wouldn't continue the relationship.
Canberra was interesting for three reasons: one it was my first experience working in an office, two, it was my first experience at a long-distance relationship (no, Caryn and I didn't manage to end our relationship before I left Melbourne!), and three, I formed a few more long-term friends. What I remember about Canberra were the arguments Caryn and I had during our long-distance days, and, once they were over, the amazing place and lifestyle Caryn and I lead there. There is one image of us with backpacks on going to an Australian Chamber Orchestra concert one night, after which we were going to a fancy dress party. The images in my mind are us leaving our house and us leaving the fancy dress gig... both times walking, hat and jackets on, really giving the bird to the Canberra winter and enjoying everything full physical fitness had to offer.
The most recent chapter is Sydney. What do I make of Sydney... not sure? And I don't think I will know for a while. We spent a lot of time away from Sydney; I was bloody committed to my job until I realised that they weren't actually interested in leadership or innovation; I put on a bit of weight and we definitely didn't have the healthy lifestyle we had in Canberra. Nevertheless, I think Sydney will go down as significant because it is where I first learned of sustainability (http://falsedichotomyofsustainability.blogspot.com/), climate change and I think just today, I saw a shift in my thinking that I have never seen before; principles rahter than what other people think, . I know there is still a long way to go in this thought pattern, but reading the latest TIME magazine on Green Heroes definitely clicked something in my mind...
and so that brings me to right now; it was funny, as I left our apartment for the last time tonight, the smell of carpet cleaner still thick in the air, the lights turned off at the mains switch and the apartment completely empty... I am still not sure what I was thinking. Would I miss this place? I mean our place had everything, yet ironically, I felt like we used so little of it. If anything, I would say Sydney made Caryn and I turn inwards. We definitely didn't get out and explore our local surrounds like we did in Canberra, and instead we either spent our time planning trips to get out of Sydney, or alternatively, spent our time trying to improve our lifestyle without actually getting anywhere.
But still, I think Sydney will be relevant in the overall scheme of things.
For now though, we are both just really glad to get back to home base. It is amazing how comforting home base can feel.
- pre Argentina (age 0-16)
- Argentina (age 16-17)
- Between Argentina and Mexico (age 17-21)
- Mexico (age 22)
- Return to Melbourne (age 23)
- Canberra (age 23-26)
- Sydney (age 26-28)
Pre-Argentina I was just fucked up; I mean something went seriously wrong between the pictures of me as a happy child and the reality of me as a child... but I am just about over that and (probably) glad I went through it.
Argentina was as if someone turned the light on. All of a sudden people liked me, I liked me and I had a chance to reflect on reality. Before I left for Argentina I was told not to get into conversations about religion or politics; I failed on both counts and when you combine my discovery that I could actually drink a lot by most people's standard, well it made for an end to the advanced math I was studying before I left.
Between Argentina and Mexico I was suddenly older than everyone (even those much older than me!) and spent a lot of time doing volunteer work, camping, hiking, drinking and having a good time. Life was pretty easy and all my records and results through this period show that. Ironically, it was painfully obvious to me how much I still had to learn about women, relationships and ultimately myself during this time. This chapter of my life begun to close the night my spanish professor said to me "...pero Ross, hablas bien." From there I left the long term girlfriend, did lots of drugs and definitely made the best friend of my entire life.
Mexico was my crisis of faith. When I decided to go to Mexico everything was up in the air, I didn't know who I was, what I wanted, or how I wanted to get there. I went to Mexico to find religion and friendship. I found the friendship in less than a week when I reconnected with a friend from Argentina and to this day there is this one moment that will forever define the value of all relationships for me. I found religion somewhere between Merida and London, ironically, when I did some more drugs with an old, old friend from high school. I don't regret the drugs; they were a significant contributor to my growth and without them I would still be that pre-Argentina person who I didn't like, and for that matter, no one else liked. Mexico, and all the people that were part of it, is one of the most significant chapters in my life...
Returning to Melbourne was interesting because my parents were on the verge of separating, I was in this euphoric post-finding-of-religion-phase and wanted nothing more than to find people to share that with. I struggled initially with that, but between a few people and situations, I found my outlets. Interestingly I remember this time often for the time Mum and I would spend together eating lunch most days. Working from home most of the time on my thesis meant that mum and I would be in our respective 'studys' and catch up for lunch. The other significant thing about this period was that I met Caryn. History will look back at this and probably say it was the most significant moment of my life, but at the time, despite being aware that I was going to meet this amazing girl (the queen of swords) for over a year, I still didn't quite understand (and some might argue that I still don't understand!). This chapter ended with me going to Canberra and Caryn and I saying we wouldn't continue the relationship.
Canberra was interesting for three reasons: one it was my first experience working in an office, two, it was my first experience at a long-distance relationship (no, Caryn and I didn't manage to end our relationship before I left Melbourne!), and three, I formed a few more long-term friends. What I remember about Canberra were the arguments Caryn and I had during our long-distance days, and, once they were over, the amazing place and lifestyle Caryn and I lead there. There is one image of us with backpacks on going to an Australian Chamber Orchestra concert one night, after which we were going to a fancy dress party. The images in my mind are us leaving our house and us leaving the fancy dress gig... both times walking, hat and jackets on, really giving the bird to the Canberra winter and enjoying everything full physical fitness had to offer.
The most recent chapter is Sydney. What do I make of Sydney... not sure? And I don't think I will know for a while. We spent a lot of time away from Sydney; I was bloody committed to my job until I realised that they weren't actually interested in leadership or innovation; I put on a bit of weight and we definitely didn't have the healthy lifestyle we had in Canberra. Nevertheless, I think Sydney will go down as significant because it is where I first learned of sustainability (http://falsedichotomyofsustainability.blogspot.com/), climate change and I think just today, I saw a shift in my thinking that I have never seen before; principles rahter than what other people think, . I know there is still a long way to go in this thought pattern, but reading the latest TIME magazine on Green Heroes definitely clicked something in my mind...
and so that brings me to right now; it was funny, as I left our apartment for the last time tonight, the smell of carpet cleaner still thick in the air, the lights turned off at the mains switch and the apartment completely empty... I am still not sure what I was thinking. Would I miss this place? I mean our place had everything, yet ironically, I felt like we used so little of it. If anything, I would say Sydney made Caryn and I turn inwards. We definitely didn't get out and explore our local surrounds like we did in Canberra, and instead we either spent our time planning trips to get out of Sydney, or alternatively, spent our time trying to improve our lifestyle without actually getting anywhere.
But still, I think Sydney will be relevant in the overall scheme of things.
For now though, we are both just really glad to get back to home base. It is amazing how comforting home base can feel.