can you maintain for like THIRTY SECONDS
tonight could have gone a lot better than it did. and to be honest, i didn't expect it to be this bad. being ignored, feeling used, leaving earlier than i wanted. yea. that pretty much sums it up.
i'm pretty sure i'm well on my way to where i was two summers ago. being used, and trying to make it work. not a good idea. i just hope something comes along that makes this whole situation look a little brighter, although, quite honestly, i see nothing that could make this situation better. except for example if i suddenly lost 30 lbs over night, got wisked away by some studly, romantic man to some romantic beach somewhere in mexico. but i'm pretty sure that's not happening any time soon.
i wish i had wireless internet cuz i really wanna be outside in my gazebo thinking/writing. but i don't have wireless internet. i have dial up. so here we sit.
i'm pretty sure i haven't felt this way in about a year. and i'm not liking it (again). it definitely was NOT fun the first time around. and it's no more fun the second time around. let me tell you. i hate this feeling. and the only thing for me to do is move on, but like i said, i don't see that happening any time soon.
it's easy to say you don't care. it's a lot harder to actually NOT care. i want so badly to not care. but i do. and it won't work b/c i'm the only one right now who actually gives a shit what happens with this whole situation. i'm the only one trying to piece things back together. and if it's supposed to work, i can't be the only one.
and everyone can sit there and judge me and judge my situation but seriously you're not in it. people love to talk. god bless their hearts. good news travels fast. so if you can't understand my apprehension about tonight, then you don't know the whole story, which is good. maybe i'm being paranoid. i don't know.
thank GOD for meghan on the drive home tonight. i probably would have exploded if it weren't for her.
it's not good to be mad/used/hurt. so maybe when i'm not any of those things, i can think a little clearer. and my thoughts will actually make sense.
i'm pretty sure i'm well on my way to where i was two summers ago. being used, and trying to make it work. not a good idea. i just hope something comes along that makes this whole situation look a little brighter, although, quite honestly, i see nothing that could make this situation better. except for example if i suddenly lost 30 lbs over night, got wisked away by some studly, romantic man to some romantic beach somewhere in mexico. but i'm pretty sure that's not happening any time soon.
i wish i had wireless internet cuz i really wanna be outside in my gazebo thinking/writing. but i don't have wireless internet. i have dial up. so here we sit.
i'm pretty sure i haven't felt this way in about a year. and i'm not liking it (again). it definitely was NOT fun the first time around. and it's no more fun the second time around. let me tell you. i hate this feeling. and the only thing for me to do is move on, but like i said, i don't see that happening any time soon.
it's easy to say you don't care. it's a lot harder to actually NOT care. i want so badly to not care. but i do. and it won't work b/c i'm the only one right now who actually gives a shit what happens with this whole situation. i'm the only one trying to piece things back together. and if it's supposed to work, i can't be the only one.
and everyone can sit there and judge me and judge my situation but seriously you're not in it. people love to talk. god bless their hearts. good news travels fast. so if you can't understand my apprehension about tonight, then you don't know the whole story, which is good. maybe i'm being paranoid. i don't know.
thank GOD for meghan on the drive home tonight. i probably would have exploded if it weren't for her.
it's not good to be mad/used/hurt. so maybe when i'm not any of those things, i can think a little clearer. and my thoughts will actually make sense.