(no subject)
Watching "The Adjustment Bureau" left me with a interesting question to ponder. The movie focuses on the question of which is stronger, free will or fate. Around the midpoint of the movie, the soldiers of fate bring up the idea, what if finding your soulmate means giving up your dreams? What if the emptiness of being single pushes you to excel in your professional life? Does finding happiness in a relationship mean redefining your own?
You hear it all the time. Every relationship involves compromise. A parent gives up their dream to provide for their children. A partner shelves their aspirations to support their partner's schooling. A teenager sets aside their plans to care for an elderly family member. This is something I've never been good at. With every compromise, there is a hint of regret. Over time that regret builds, and if it isn't addressed, can cause vast rifts in any relationship. How do you pursue your own dreams, while pushing your partner to do the same?
The optimist in me says once you find that special person in your life, it doesn't feel like compromise. It's no longer what you want, or what they want, it's what both of you want. The pessimist in me says that's fine for a while, but at the end of the day you are two separate people, with differing minds, and differing aspirations. Where do you draw the line, where do you stop being "we", and start being "you"?
I wish I had an answer for this. As it stands now, I don't. It's the balancing act that every couple does, and in my past experience, I've failed miserably at this. Here's hoping I learn from mistakes.