(no subject)

[rowermenace]

An explosion woke Matt from his sleep at 8am. Wow, it is late (compared to the ungodly crew hours)he thought, rising from bed to investigate the peculiar explosions coming from the kitchen. Creeping down the stairs, partly from curiousity and partly from fear Matt began to feel uneasy as another loud explosion went off not ten feet away. Leaping through the doorway into the kitchen Matt found himself face to face with a horrifying sight; a younger brother attempting to cook. The cabinets and refrigerator were flung open and their contents were spilling out. A grease fire was spreading along the counter and nearly every piece of glass had shattered; dishes, cups, windows, all descimated. Sitting in the middle of the rapidly increasing disaster sat matt's younger brother with a bag of chocolate chips, pancake battered smeared everywhere, and a bemused look that only comes from complete ignorance on his face. Mike stared at Matt and offered him the chocolate chips and just as quickly rethinking his generous offer he began to shovel them into his mouth. The explosions were coming from the gas line which Mike had managed to break, sending gas explosions throughout the neighborhood. The house began to shudder as the grease fire spread to curtains and carpets and destroy the structural integrity of Matt's home. Not willing to sacrifice himself for the idiocy that was occuring in the kitchen, Matt ran to the nearest window and jumped out. Seconds later the house erupted into a ball of flame and collapsed in on itself, while outside underground gas lines continued to explode, igniting houses up and down the street. Merrily skipping through the remains of the front door, Mike, still clung to his bag of chocolate chips and while his slightly toasted afro bounced from side to side. Matt laid on his front yard while Mike started a new project, replanting the garden; quickly pulling out every flower, eating it, the replacing it with a chocolate chip. As Matt lay on the grass, badly burned and completely descimated by the destruction around him, he remembered that kids are only good for one thing, being used for stress relief but unfortunately Matt was too tired to beat him like he deserved.

Reality: I wish the little bastard would make me breakfast. Gosh!