Just some words that I needed to get out on digital paper.
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I could have used you last night, but you weren't there.
Who knows why? A whim, an urge, a tryst upon the night-time air.
I suppose, in some ways, it was your right to choose
For once, to leave me,
Instead of letting me fall asleep on you, so,
In the end it all works out. Doesn't it?
Doesn't it...?
What's wrong with me? I hate feeling like this;
A silent longing for one stupid kiss.
We're far too far apart for me to let
You go and steal my heart and yet
I go ahead and start to get
Upset about something so trivial, so menial, it's so very uncongenial
For me to expect you to be there. Isn't it?
Isn't it...?
Gods, I loathe this doubt; I'm a bard!
Matters of the heart shouldn't be this hard
To navigate, it's my profession
To understand love's procession.
And yet, I'll offer up this concession:
It's very different when the heart is your own.
(Have I scared you away? Your silence makes me wonder.
The longer you say nothing, the longer I will blunder
On and on with these babbling words,
Like birds, tweeting in the mid-day sun.)
But, you can have my heart, take it or leave it.
I've decided now that I don't need it.
Broken and bruised, it's not as pretty as you might imagine it to be.
Yet, the barbs are now retreating,
And the chamber's started beating;
This emotion isn't fleeting,
And though it won't reside forever, it's still nice to have something inside once more.
I'm feeling better.
I'm feeling better having told you,
Though I'm longing, now, to hold you,
And your silence still concerns me, but I can live with that.
Why should I have allowed that to bother me so much, anyway?
I don't even get it,
I never should have let it,
In fact,
Forget I even said it.
I'm certain that this evening will be better than before.
Still...
I could have used you last night, but you weren't there.