A word on adoption and my life in general
For those of you who don't know, I was adopted.
I was adopted at birth and have known this since I was about 7 years old. Any time I mentioned my adoption there on out to my parents was responded to uneasiness and uncomfortableness, even though I made sure they knew I knew they were my "real" parents. So I never asked about my birth mother, and who she was.
Last week, I mentioned to my mom I had a physical coming up, and I really wanted to get the information about my birthparents so I could make sure of my genetic history in case they found something in my bloodwork. So she sent it to me.
I opened the envelope and... wow. Just reading through everything about my mother's background was interesting. (No information on the Father.)
C-section. Okay. I can dig that. And yep, lots of history of needed glasses in her family, okay... allergic to Penicillin? Okay, glad I didn't inherit that trait... Heavy drinking on both her parents' sides? That... doesn't surprise me. Okay. Fine. That's it? Well, that's more than I knew before, that's kind of coo---wait, there's one more sheet behind the "Medical Information on Genetic Father" packet with all the "unknown" boxes marked...
HOLY FUCK.
The last page and a half was all information about my mother's physical looks, and more importantly, her personality. Literally, 80% of what I've always wanted to know was on that page. I grinned like an idiot reading through it.
I'm 1/4 English, 1/8 Russian and 1/8 Polish. (No info from my father's side but I'm guessing some Irish and English blood is there as well. No way to tell without genetic testing. But anyway) My bio mom was 16 when I was born, 5'1", 108 lbs. She was a small woman, and I was an 8 lb baby. Fun. Eyes? Hazel. Just like mine. Hair? Reddish Brown. Just like mine.
And then the "Talents, Hobbies, and Special Interests" section:
- Likes to draw, sing, act, rollerskating, horseback riding, music, reading, collect comic books, loves unicorns, soccer, swimming, floor hockey-loves outdoors.
It's not hard to see the similarities between what I like and what she likes.
And then:
Future Aspirations: Would like a degree in art or music.
For those who don't know, my first degree was in Music. I'm now in school for Art. Just... wow.
And then finally on that page:
Religion: No religion
This made me pause. If I had been asked what to write down, given the stuff *I've* been through? I would have said "no religion" too, especially since she put me up through Catholic Services. It really makes me wonder if she's had similar... supernatural experiences as I have.
Next page talks mostly about why she put me up for adoption. Her parents were divorced and she didn't think she could raise me as a single parent. Okay, fine. That makes sense. But then, the last line made me smile:
She was proud of her son - this was a difficult decision for her to make.
It... I want to meet her now. Knowing all of this makes it easier and SO much harder than it ever was. She sounds like a wonderful person. And I'm willing to accept that she may not want to know me, but... I have to try and see if I can find her. Just to meet her, once, and talk with her about all the things I want to know. And to see if she's... gifted the way I am. As much as I wonder about her, I can only imagine she must wonder about me too. If we're so similar and alike, I feel like this is the right thing.
I have the address of the adoption agency. Once I'm ready, I'm going to see if they have any more information.
I'm excited and scared. This is... well...
This pretty much coincides with everything I've known to be true in my heart already. To read this... makes me giggle and grin. I'm finally starting to understand more about myself because there's no longer this nebulous origin story. I can truly, finally start to figure out why I am who I am.