(no subject)
my mom says i have separation anxiety.
ha, i wonder how i could have ever been diagnosed with that?
maybe its because everyone in my life always ends up leaving me?
i remember when i was little, and my dad would drop us back off at my moms after being with him for the weekend, i would watch him drive away, and just cry and cry. i dont even remember why i cried. i knew i would see him in two weeks.
i think the whole disorder has alot to do with my dad. he moved to california for a few years. but even then i would see him every two months because he would come see us. lol, after he left, my mom made me go to a therapist. to this day i resent her for that. that lady was a fucking nut case, and had no idea what she was talking about. all i remember was i wouldnt say a word to her, she made me draw pictures, and the water had a really weird taste to it. i was pretty young though, 4 th grade or so.
the whole divorce is really getting to me. which is a surprise, because this is the only one that has actually made me really upset.i just really want things to go back to normal. i love my stepmom and i dont want my dad and her to get a divorce. i think they're being selfish and not thinking of anyone but themselves. everytime i think of it i just start balling, like now. ive been crying all night.
homecomming is this weekend. woo. can ya tell im excited? im so freaking fat, my dress looks horrible. im just really uncomfortable with myself right now. more so than i have been in a long time. i guess you could say its because im depressed or something. who knows?
tomorrow is powder puff. i really wanted to be a part of it, but i just dont have the time for practices and stuff. but i dont work or have school tomorrow and i really would like to go. but do you wanna know why im not going. because the only two people i could go with trudy or dannielle will be playing, so now i wouldnt have anyone to sit with. and im def not goin and sitting all by myself. god im such a loser.
i cannot wait to graduate and leave this town, but that is goin to be quite hard with this so called separation anxiety of mine. my mother is my bestfriend and i love her more then anything. i dont know if i could be away from her. who knows how things will end up. a year ago i would have never thought i would be like this now. so who knows what it will be like in a year?
Pull your arms up around your knees
and hide out inside your room
pretend you cant feel at all
just realize that i know how you feel now
if all i am is distraction for you
then i cant complain that you cant feel something for me
take all you can find in me
can you think back to when things worked?
when dreams were the days you lived
when you never cried alone
just realize that i know how you feel now
if all i am is distraction for you
then i cant complain that you cant feel something for me
take all you can find in me
<333
ha, i wonder how i could have ever been diagnosed with that?
maybe its because everyone in my life always ends up leaving me?
i remember when i was little, and my dad would drop us back off at my moms after being with him for the weekend, i would watch him drive away, and just cry and cry. i dont even remember why i cried. i knew i would see him in two weeks.
i think the whole disorder has alot to do with my dad. he moved to california for a few years. but even then i would see him every two months because he would come see us. lol, after he left, my mom made me go to a therapist. to this day i resent her for that. that lady was a fucking nut case, and had no idea what she was talking about. all i remember was i wouldnt say a word to her, she made me draw pictures, and the water had a really weird taste to it. i was pretty young though, 4 th grade or so.
the whole divorce is really getting to me. which is a surprise, because this is the only one that has actually made me really upset.i just really want things to go back to normal. i love my stepmom and i dont want my dad and her to get a divorce. i think they're being selfish and not thinking of anyone but themselves. everytime i think of it i just start balling, like now. ive been crying all night.
homecomming is this weekend. woo. can ya tell im excited? im so freaking fat, my dress looks horrible. im just really uncomfortable with myself right now. more so than i have been in a long time. i guess you could say its because im depressed or something. who knows?
tomorrow is powder puff. i really wanted to be a part of it, but i just dont have the time for practices and stuff. but i dont work or have school tomorrow and i really would like to go. but do you wanna know why im not going. because the only two people i could go with trudy or dannielle will be playing, so now i wouldnt have anyone to sit with. and im def not goin and sitting all by myself. god im such a loser.
i cannot wait to graduate and leave this town, but that is goin to be quite hard with this so called separation anxiety of mine. my mother is my bestfriend and i love her more then anything. i dont know if i could be away from her. who knows how things will end up. a year ago i would have never thought i would be like this now. so who knows what it will be like in a year?
Pull your arms up around your knees
and hide out inside your room
pretend you cant feel at all
just realize that i know how you feel now
if all i am is distraction for you
then i cant complain that you cant feel something for me
take all you can find in me
can you think back to when things worked?
when dreams were the days you lived
when you never cried alone
just realize that i know how you feel now
if all i am is distraction for you
then i cant complain that you cant feel something for me
take all you can find in me
<333