(no subject)

[rough_love]

I DONT KNOW WHAT HAS POSSED ME TO COME HERE TODAY AND VENT MAYBE ITS CAUSE I KNOW ALL OF U WHO HAVE MYSPACE READ BLOGS AND I DONT WANT ALL THEM TO READ THIS...OR MAYBE I DO! I FUCKING SAD YES ITS TRU ANDIE IS FUCKING DEPRESSED. YOU ARE ALL THINKING WHY SHE HAS IT O SO GOOD...SOMEONE WHO SAYS HE CARES YET HE IS MILES FROM WHERE U STAY.FUNNY...I HAVE NEVER BEEN ONE TO BE A REALTIONSHIP HOPPER...OR HAVE SUCH STRONG FEELINGS LIKE THIS...MAYBE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THEY FACT THAT I FEEL ALONE.. YES I THANK TO PERSON UP ABOVE THAT I HAVE THE FRIENDS AND FAMILY I DO CAUSE I THINK THAT WITOUT THEM I WOULD HAVE ALREADY KILLED MYSELF INSIDE AND OUT! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY I WANT TO CRY SO MUCH RIGHT NOW IS IT CAUSE OF THE FACT THAT I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY REASON WHY I AM BEING KEPT AROUND BY ANYONE IS FOR THE SIMPLE FACT THAT I YOU'VE HIT IT AND CONTINUE TO RUN BACK?!? I DONT KNOW ANYMORE...ITS ALL JUST A BIG FUCKING FUCK UP RIGHT NOW...ASK ME WHY I TRAVELED 3 HRS TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEOEN WHO HAS ONCE AGAIN SHOWED ME THAT "IM ONLY GOOD FOR ONE THING"...BEFORE I LEFT I GOT A PHONE CALL EVERYDAY...I GOT A TXT MSG WHENEVER I SENT ONE BUT NOW ITS LIKE O WELL SHE CAME AND WENT AND NOW I DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT SHIT! I DONT KNOW SOMETIMES....ITS LIKE I WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE THE PERSON WANTS MORE FROM ME...MORE THAN JUST WHAT I HAVE ON THE OUTSIDE BUT WHAT I BEAR ON THE INSIDE AS WELL. IM A GOOD PERSON I PROMISE...SO I HAVE A FEW PEIRCINGS AND SOME TATTOOS...BUT I MEAN HEY I HAVE FEELINGS TOO! MAYBE I SHOULDNT WATCH THESE SAD MOVIES!!! MAYBE I SHOULDNT BE SOO SHALLOW TO WHATS GOING ON AROUND ME...WHY CANT I OPEN MY MIND ANYMORE?!? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO CLOSED MINDED TO ALL THIS?!? I DONT UNDERSTAND SOMETIMES...THERE WAS A TIME IN MY LIFE WHERE NOTHING MATTERED NOTHING MATTERED BUT ME AND MY FEELINGS VICE WHAT U FELT OR WHAT U WOULD THINK OF ME! WHY DID I GROW UP TO FEEL THIS WAY?!? MAYBE ITS CAUSE HOW HE AND HIM AND THEY HAVE MADE ME FEEL LIKE IM NOTHIGN LIKE IM JUST SOEM BITCH U CALL UP TO BE BY UR SIDE TILL U REALIZE THAT THEIR DONE! I WISH I COULD SLEEP BUT I HAVE TOO MUCH GOING ON IN MY MIND RIGHT NOW THAT ITS SOOOO HARD!
I DONT KNOW THE NIGHT WILL HOPEFULLY BE WASHED BY TEARS!

ANDIE