ok I resent his sucess... does that make me a shitty, petty, shallow actress?!?!
I feel so conflicted. It’s hard to admit it but I’m actually really scared about moving to LA.
Sure I have a few connections out there and I know a handful of my self-involved classmates that are supposedly there (somewhere) and it’s been my dream as long as I can remember to do just this : abandon everything (my friends, co-workers, lover, and basically all sense of practicality) and just run away to California. It’s all I’ve been thinking and dreaming about since I was an ambitious little girl. And now it’s finally happening and I’m scared shitless and doubting my own sanity. I won’t have a school to fall back on this time around!
If I only didn’t adoooore my life in NY so much! Yeah my roommates piss me the hell out of sometimes and I crave the anonymity provided by arriving all alone in a new city where I can re-invent myself (or at least leave out any personal unsavory details if I feel inclined) and I know that if I’m going to go for it NOW is the time… (the only time as I only have until the end of fucking August before my supposed looming deportation date) and anyway I’m still young enough t give it a proper shot. It really IS all about the under 25 set alas…
...but I’m having such a good time here!!! I go on auditions all the time here and have this agent- manager team assisting me (even though I’m definitely not their TOP priority by any means) and well Stella can’t even come with me and she’s been a real comfort. And everyone Knows I’m a crazy cat lady! But mostly it’s just that New York has become my home! Like Halifax never was. Even Dwarf (dw) is here!
And I’m going to really miss Justin. There I said it. But dw pointed out that if he were the one in my position and he got a tour or something he wouldn’t even CONSIDER for a moment not leaving me. Work is work and that’s just how priorities need to be if you’re an actor. But I know I’m going to be lonely.
And I feel like the Williams show needs to end. Even though I’m really enjoying Billi, Charles, Judy & Jay’s company and will miss getting to perform every week...
Last night a casting person who recently spotted me running lines at Cosi came to check out my work and really seemed to like it, a film student left me his card about potentially acting in his thesis project… and also a Jr. agent at The William Morris Agency happened to be in attendance (turns out she’s Larry Block’s daughter… hmm) and New York 1 (the TV channel potentially involved with the show “On Stage”) reviewed/filmed us along with the indie paper “The Villager.” But what if I get a bad review? I’ll just die. I don’t know what I’d do!?!?! Well then I’d have an ACTUAL reason to flee the state haha!
My Rada audition went okay. I’m soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad it’s over (though I doubt I’ll even get a callback.) I keep reminding myself of the odds - the whole ‘only one American admitted per year’ things kind of harsh. And then I curse myself for dating that .001% anomaly haha as it only serves to emphasize my probable failure. I gave it my all (though I’ve yet to show any actual aptitude for the Bard.) One down… two more London auditions two go.
Fortunately the interview portion and my contemporary piece fared far better than the classic and they noted that I am obviously a working professional which was rather nice. CB told me that he was called back on the spot. Argh. He wasn’t sure though whether that was unusual or not.
It’s hard not to feel inadequate or competitive when he seems to effortlessly beats me at everything while remaining so extremely sweet and easy-going. My movie audition also went so-so and I promptly returned my outfit to Urban Outfitters directly afterward!(cb said that I wasn't really right for the part but I disagree damn it!)
Sure I have a few connections out there and I know a handful of my self-involved classmates that are supposedly there (somewhere) and it’s been my dream as long as I can remember to do just this : abandon everything (my friends, co-workers, lover, and basically all sense of practicality) and just run away to California. It’s all I’ve been thinking and dreaming about since I was an ambitious little girl. And now it’s finally happening and I’m scared shitless and doubting my own sanity. I won’t have a school to fall back on this time around!
If I only didn’t adoooore my life in NY so much! Yeah my roommates piss me the hell out of sometimes and I crave the anonymity provided by arriving all alone in a new city where I can re-invent myself (or at least leave out any personal unsavory details if I feel inclined) and I know that if I’m going to go for it NOW is the time… (the only time as I only have until the end of fucking August before my supposed looming deportation date) and anyway I’m still young enough t give it a proper shot. It really IS all about the under 25 set alas…
...but I’m having such a good time here!!! I go on auditions all the time here and have this agent- manager team assisting me (even though I’m definitely not their TOP priority by any means) and well Stella can’t even come with me and she’s been a real comfort. And everyone Knows I’m a crazy cat lady! But mostly it’s just that New York has become my home! Like Halifax never was. Even Dwarf (dw) is here!
And I’m going to really miss Justin. There I said it. But dw pointed out that if he were the one in my position and he got a tour or something he wouldn’t even CONSIDER for a moment not leaving me. Work is work and that’s just how priorities need to be if you’re an actor. But I know I’m going to be lonely.
And I feel like the Williams show needs to end. Even though I’m really enjoying Billi, Charles, Judy & Jay’s company and will miss getting to perform every week...
Last night a casting person who recently spotted me running lines at Cosi came to check out my work and really seemed to like it, a film student left me his card about potentially acting in his thesis project… and also a Jr. agent at The William Morris Agency happened to be in attendance (turns out she’s Larry Block’s daughter… hmm) and New York 1 (the TV channel potentially involved with the show “On Stage”) reviewed/filmed us along with the indie paper “The Villager.” But what if I get a bad review? I’ll just die. I don’t know what I’d do!?!?! Well then I’d have an ACTUAL reason to flee the state haha!
My Rada audition went okay. I’m soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad it’s over (though I doubt I’ll even get a callback.) I keep reminding myself of the odds - the whole ‘only one American admitted per year’ things kind of harsh. And then I curse myself for dating that .001% anomaly haha as it only serves to emphasize my probable failure. I gave it my all (though I’ve yet to show any actual aptitude for the Bard.) One down… two more London auditions two go.
Fortunately the interview portion and my contemporary piece fared far better than the classic and they noted that I am obviously a working professional which was rather nice. CB told me that he was called back on the spot. Argh. He wasn’t sure though whether that was unusual or not.
It’s hard not to feel inadequate or competitive when he seems to effortlessly beats me at everything while remaining so extremely sweet and easy-going. My movie audition also went so-so and I promptly returned my outfit to Urban Outfitters directly afterward!(cb said that I wasn't really right for the part but I disagree damn it!)