I Hate Relationships (& especially children!)
Just found out when I was stalking my old high-school classmates that the girl who got voted "Class Hottie" and (starred in fashion show with me at Spry High)is pregnant! How terrible! She seems happy but my God she's 20. My life would be over! Just reading about ih has left me in this slump. God, I could never live that sort of convential life.
I'm waiting to hear back agaib from pretty blond, Kelsey. I need to go with her for Chai’s in the village next week. I should be dating other people! That’d be really nice. A good distraction.
Stef Rose cheered me up as usual with her comments on my last entry:
"For the record, Sonja, I LOVE that you spend 96% of the time thinking about acting. I love hearing you talking about it! That guy is a complete prick for criticizing something so very personal to who you are. Chin up!"
It is incredibly personal you know? I tried not to for almost a whole day and I started to go mad. When I suppress talking about it I'm left as a fake shell. Even less fun to be around than with my usual one track mind.
I'm so stressed. I have so much to do before I move. So far only one girl has actually come to look at my apartment. I hate the stress of subletting. It's making me think that I should just give my one months notice (again) to B and make this California thing work. Without a car.
Karen & I met up with Tim Brown for lunch at the ridiculously wonderful Stardust Diner (how insane is it that us three Nova Scotian 9-4's would eventually make it out of the maritimes and meet up in freaking New York NYC for mexican food?)
after dwarf and I went to see the new Alan Ball play at NY Theatre Workshop. FTR he wrote American Beauty, Six Feet Under & Five Women Wearing The Same Dress (where Caitlin-the Troll found her annoying over-used wedding monologue.) It was excellent. Go see it now... because I'm sure it'll eventually move to broadway where the ticket price will shoot up and it'll become impossible to get seats.
Ran into Howard and co while waiting for student tickets at The Public tonight. As planned Maria, CB & Jase, Karen & her new AMDA roommate Laura and I were supposed to go... alas it was sold out. I'll have to try again on my own obv. After he asked me about my west coast plans he joked that Jane had told him that I could marry Jeff Nash. Ahahahaha! How amazing! How I wish it were true :) He is one of the most amazing men I've ever met and I think they prove that a)two artists can THRIVE together, and b) true love exists.
....... like I predicted our dynamic has changed post fight. He blew me off tonight in favor of seeing a movie in jersey... without me. Whatever. Before a "night in" to "relax" was code for having me over to veg out. That was what we did best! Bu tl I guess our dramatic fight has ruined his entire image of me as this calming, gentle, fun, feminine presence and I'm now he sees me more as some sort of an uber time-consuming, high maintenance harpy that he has to carefully pussy-foot around so I won’t explode again and subsequently require three hours of being “talked-down” just so he can get some action and fall asleep. ARRRRRRGH! He also ignorantly asked me what I was going to be doing TOMORROW NIGHT!?!? Sunday, February, the 25th! Obviously watching the oscars in some sort of ballgown while sipping champagne! Obv. So I quickly found a reason to hang-up and promptly /melodramatically erased his number from my phone. And his texts. Oh well we gave it a shot…
maybe this is for the best; if we just slowly faze each other out than I'll be a free girl in California and I won't be fantasizing over all the potential "what if's" of this messy thing we have going. I don't need anyone!
I was up all last night puking. It was so excruciating! But I forced myself to suck it up and attend the staged reading of the screenplay & my back to back rehearsal for Munical Abbotoir and you know what? It was actually really fun. Performing always cures my pain!
I played Dianne, a striking 17 year-old crappy, povert-stricken, both emotionally abused & abusive, neglectful & resentfull young mother of two (my youngest girl was even retarded.) In the script's climax my drunkard husband “Vinny” kills me (and my old adolescent flame) with a baseball bat during one of his routine violent bouts of jealousy. Ironically if this movie gets made the part will probably go to Ellen Page or Danielle Panabaker… haha…
…man, that’s depressing.
I'm waiting to hear back agaib from pretty blond, Kelsey. I need to go with her for Chai’s in the village next week. I should be dating other people! That’d be really nice. A good distraction.
Stef Rose cheered me up as usual with her comments on my last entry:
"For the record, Sonja, I LOVE that you spend 96% of the time thinking about acting. I love hearing you talking about it! That guy is a complete prick for criticizing something so very personal to who you are. Chin up!"
It is incredibly personal you know? I tried not to for almost a whole day and I started to go mad. When I suppress talking about it I'm left as a fake shell. Even less fun to be around than with my usual one track mind.
I'm so stressed. I have so much to do before I move. So far only one girl has actually come to look at my apartment. I hate the stress of subletting. It's making me think that I should just give my one months notice (again) to B and make this California thing work. Without a car.
Karen & I met up with Tim Brown for lunch at the ridiculously wonderful Stardust Diner (how insane is it that us three Nova Scotian 9-4's would eventually make it out of the maritimes and meet up in freaking New York NYC for mexican food?)
after dwarf and I went to see the new Alan Ball play at NY Theatre Workshop. FTR he wrote American Beauty, Six Feet Under & Five Women Wearing The Same Dress (where Caitlin-the Troll found her annoying over-used wedding monologue.) It was excellent. Go see it now... because I'm sure it'll eventually move to broadway where the ticket price will shoot up and it'll become impossible to get seats.
Ran into Howard and co while waiting for student tickets at The Public tonight. As planned Maria, CB & Jase, Karen & her new AMDA roommate Laura and I were supposed to go... alas it was sold out. I'll have to try again on my own obv. After he asked me about my west coast plans he joked that Jane had told him that I could marry Jeff Nash. Ahahahaha! How amazing! How I wish it were true :) He is one of the most amazing men I've ever met and I think they prove that a)two artists can THRIVE together, and b) true love exists.
....... like I predicted our dynamic has changed post fight. He blew me off tonight in favor of seeing a movie in jersey... without me. Whatever. Before a "night in" to "relax" was code for having me over to veg out. That was what we did best! Bu tl I guess our dramatic fight has ruined his entire image of me as this calming, gentle, fun, feminine presence and I'm now he sees me more as some sort of an uber time-consuming, high maintenance harpy that he has to carefully pussy-foot around so I won’t explode again and subsequently require three hours of being “talked-down” just so he can get some action and fall asleep. ARRRRRRGH! He also ignorantly asked me what I was going to be doing TOMORROW NIGHT!?!? Sunday, February, the 25th! Obviously watching the oscars in some sort of ballgown while sipping champagne! Obv. So I quickly found a reason to hang-up and promptly /melodramatically erased his number from my phone. And his texts. Oh well we gave it a shot…
maybe this is for the best; if we just slowly faze each other out than I'll be a free girl in California and I won't be fantasizing over all the potential "what if's" of this messy thing we have going. I don't need anyone!
I was up all last night puking. It was so excruciating! But I forced myself to suck it up and attend the staged reading of the screenplay & my back to back rehearsal for Munical Abbotoir and you know what? It was actually really fun. Performing always cures my pain!
I played Dianne, a striking 17 year-old crappy, povert-stricken, both emotionally abused & abusive, neglectful & resentfull young mother of two (my youngest girl was even retarded.) In the script's climax my drunkard husband “Vinny” kills me (and my old adolescent flame) with a baseball bat during one of his routine violent bouts of jealousy. Ironically if this movie gets made the part will probably go to Ellen Page or Danielle Panabaker… haha…
…man, that’s depressing.