Apr 24, 2007 21:13
It's gotten stupidly unbearable. I simply went in tonight to write down my unavailability for next week and I left upset and ended up crying to my parents on the phone.
Update on the spat from Saturday: The girl is not over it yet.
She was at work on Sunday morning with her boyfriend - the sole purpose to cry. She had crossed her name out to work, and a replacement had been called in the night before (meaning they knew she wasn't coming in the night before), yet she STILL came in to have a cry. She's deliberately playing the victim card.
I was in there tonight for the tiniest of time, yet she used that time to glare at the the whole time, flick her head away from me, talking to other people pointedly excluding me, and I noticed she has crossed her name out from all shifts working with me.
And it just upset me because what kind of an environment has work become? In the past we would be like "aw bloody hell so-and-so are pissing me off tonight" but then by the end of the shift everyone is drinking knock offs together happily.
And she spells trouble for me. She's friends with the boss. She's openly pulling the wounded puppy bullshit. And no matter how much I try to function as normal, realistically, I can't when one member of the team is being destructive. It might take two to fight, but it only takes one to let a team down.
People say that if I continue to do a good job and show that I'm still fine and it's her with the problem then things will get better. But I know a thing or two about KingPin, and I know that things don't get better. I frequently have co-workers praising me for the job that I do, yet my conditions don't get any better. In fact I think they're slowly getting worse. Mum and Dad say that I have my reputation. Whoop-ti-do. What is a reputation if maintaining it leaves me in the state I am in after every shift?
Mum and Dad rekon that if I'm so unhappy, I should just leave. But I don't want to leave without having found a new job. They said that they will support me til I find one, but that's not the point. The point is that I know I'm not financially independent, and won't be for a few years yet, but I still like to do my bit in still trying to achieve it.
And I'm worried that if I leave, she will have won. That, and when it's good, it's very very good.
but when it's bad it's horrid