One. Women confuse the shit out of me. (part I)
I'm trying to show restraint here.
My life has been kinda bumpy lately.
When I moved to France I did so to clean the slate, and I did my best to forget what a long and painful process it is for folks to develop the circle of trusted friends that they can use to keep themsellves sane in the long run. For me it has always been a bit harder. I make casual friends like a magician. I can walk into a bar and within ten minutes be chatting with a collection of people about nothing. Men and women both seem to react very well to me in a casual situation. But not so well in a more meaningful environment. I am gifted with a lot of personality and a collection of strongly held opinions that differ somewhat from the norm as expressed by most folks.
This is who I am, and I am long since tired of trying to explain myself to everyone I meet much less appologize for it. I LIKE who I am, and I LIKE the way I think.
Alright, so maybe the title should have been less gender specific.
Anyhow. Onwards.
The Romanian girl I was dating is no longer on the lists. I met her (Roxanna, never Roxy) and her best friend (Simona) on Haloween night. We made a long night of it, and Roxanna ended up crashing at my place as the sun came up. It wasn't really a decision of mine, I didn't go otu lookign to pick up, but the three of us really hit it off and ended up being out all night. At tha tpoint in the night when things start to calm down and folks are a little drunk Simona leans over to me and tells me to take Roxanna home with me. I was on the fence about the two of them, so I took this as a statement of intention and did so.
We talked and kissed for a bit and then slept. Nothing more than that.
Things progressed from there. Me seeing Roxanna once or twice a week and then the two of them on weekends. They are both Romanian and have permanent addresses in Paris, but Simona works for a company that has her in Romania during the week. On the weekend she comes back to Paris and we all go out drinking, dancing, movies whatever. All in all it worked as a dynamic. Roxana and I slowly moving along, sometimes with the three of us collapsing at my place as the nearest refuge.
So about halfway through December she sits me down and tells me that it is over. She can't be with me because she has a boyfriend, and while they were on hiatus for a while he is coming back to town. Hmmph. Well shit. Alright. We can still be friends and go out and all the rest, but there will be a lot less late night cuddling and tonsil hockey (not a term they are familliar with over here...). Hmmmph. Well alright. It changes things, but I am kind of short on close friends to go out with so sure.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not trying to trivialize our prior dating. I really liked this girl. She was smart, stubborn, funny, active, gorgeous and she seemed to understand me. We were really hitting it off. She told me in no uncertain terms that we would have definately gone further if she didn't have a boyfriend who was on his way back to town.
But the fact is that when folks that I trust tell me things I accept them, work them into my worldview and move on. If I thought I could have changed her mind I would have tried. If I thought that she would rather have been with me than the boy I would have offered her that option. But she simply laid it all out and told me to accept it.
So I did.
And I assumed that she did the same...
My life has been kinda bumpy lately.
When I moved to France I did so to clean the slate, and I did my best to forget what a long and painful process it is for folks to develop the circle of trusted friends that they can use to keep themsellves sane in the long run. For me it has always been a bit harder. I make casual friends like a magician. I can walk into a bar and within ten minutes be chatting with a collection of people about nothing. Men and women both seem to react very well to me in a casual situation. But not so well in a more meaningful environment. I am gifted with a lot of personality and a collection of strongly held opinions that differ somewhat from the norm as expressed by most folks.
This is who I am, and I am long since tired of trying to explain myself to everyone I meet much less appologize for it. I LIKE who I am, and I LIKE the way I think.
Alright, so maybe the title should have been less gender specific.
Anyhow. Onwards.
The Romanian girl I was dating is no longer on the lists. I met her (Roxanna, never Roxy) and her best friend (Simona) on Haloween night. We made a long night of it, and Roxanna ended up crashing at my place as the sun came up. It wasn't really a decision of mine, I didn't go otu lookign to pick up, but the three of us really hit it off and ended up being out all night. At tha tpoint in the night when things start to calm down and folks are a little drunk Simona leans over to me and tells me to take Roxanna home with me. I was on the fence about the two of them, so I took this as a statement of intention and did so.
We talked and kissed for a bit and then slept. Nothing more than that.
Things progressed from there. Me seeing Roxanna once or twice a week and then the two of them on weekends. They are both Romanian and have permanent addresses in Paris, but Simona works for a company that has her in Romania during the week. On the weekend she comes back to Paris and we all go out drinking, dancing, movies whatever. All in all it worked as a dynamic. Roxana and I slowly moving along, sometimes with the three of us collapsing at my place as the nearest refuge.
So about halfway through December she sits me down and tells me that it is over. She can't be with me because she has a boyfriend, and while they were on hiatus for a while he is coming back to town. Hmmph. Well shit. Alright. We can still be friends and go out and all the rest, but there will be a lot less late night cuddling and tonsil hockey (not a term they are familliar with over here...). Hmmmph. Well alright. It changes things, but I am kind of short on close friends to go out with so sure.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not trying to trivialize our prior dating. I really liked this girl. She was smart, stubborn, funny, active, gorgeous and she seemed to understand me. We were really hitting it off. She told me in no uncertain terms that we would have definately gone further if she didn't have a boyfriend who was on his way back to town.
But the fact is that when folks that I trust tell me things I accept them, work them into my worldview and move on. If I thought I could have changed her mind I would have tried. If I thought that she would rather have been with me than the boy I would have offered her that option. But she simply laid it all out and told me to accept it.
So I did.
And I assumed that she did the same...