(no subject)
I feel so ridiculous right now. Trapped. And it's not just one specific thing, it's a number of things. I almost wish I could just press the fast-forward button and move quickly through these months full of tribulations and conflicting emotions. I don't know
I'm tempted to drink. I'm tempted to party. I'm tempted to lose focus from my work to try to fix what's going on. But my schoolwork can NOT suffer because I'm feeling emotionally drained. I need to start getting more sleep. I need to stop focusing on getting A's and start focusing on getting the most that I can out of every class I go to. I need to maximize my time here - because while I'm sort of "allowed" to be young, I'm here because I want to have a beneficial music career, and I have to say, it's really difficult to think about BOTH relationships AND college. I don't want to drop one or the other, but it's time for me to start prioritizing more efficiently so that I can survive through this semester.
At least I feel somewhat attractive today. My hair's not sticking up in weird places, my acne's not bad, and my pants feel big on me. If nothing else is going well, that is. Kinda lousy, but hey, I've gotta find something worth praising today. =)
I have to remain sane. It's only the third week, and things are making me go crazy right now. Sleep will help the most, I think. Prioritizing will help. Less time on AIM, more time on my horn. Less time watching movies, more time composing. I know that relaxing is often a stress-reliever, but I don't think it's helping me out much. My lack of focus is what stresses me out...
It's time to compose before my lesson. I have about 70 minutes.
I'm tempted to drink. I'm tempted to party. I'm tempted to lose focus from my work to try to fix what's going on. But my schoolwork can NOT suffer because I'm feeling emotionally drained. I need to start getting more sleep. I need to stop focusing on getting A's and start focusing on getting the most that I can out of every class I go to. I need to maximize my time here - because while I'm sort of "allowed" to be young, I'm here because I want to have a beneficial music career, and I have to say, it's really difficult to think about BOTH relationships AND college. I don't want to drop one or the other, but it's time for me to start prioritizing more efficiently so that I can survive through this semester.
At least I feel somewhat attractive today. My hair's not sticking up in weird places, my acne's not bad, and my pants feel big on me. If nothing else is going well, that is. Kinda lousy, but hey, I've gotta find something worth praising today. =)
I have to remain sane. It's only the third week, and things are making me go crazy right now. Sleep will help the most, I think. Prioritizing will help. Less time on AIM, more time on my horn. Less time watching movies, more time composing. I know that relaxing is often a stress-reliever, but I don't think it's helping me out much. My lack of focus is what stresses me out...
It's time to compose before my lesson. I have about 70 minutes.