Yet another story.
A day in the life of a depressed teen.
Today Is the Big day! was the first thoughts i wake up to in the morning.
Tuesday.
i decided to kill my self in the afternoon, cause thats the time i feel most relaxed, i still havent decided to do it but i m going to!
after a while at school i decied to tell my friend whats going to happen considering he said something like " if you decided you are ready to die at any point,just stop and give me a call on this mobile even if you have to use your home phone. no matter what time it is."
so i sent him a message saying " Tuesday is still the day. i ll let you know what happens"
i go throygh the day in a bored kind of trance thinking only about the afternoon. But during the last lession i got a text. saying things like we care and junk like that, i sent one back but i didnt get a reply. My friend is really starting to stress me out. i cant believe it, i dont want to see him hurt so i say so but it still hasnt changed my mind. i cant help it i just dont want to live. but i dont want to see him hurt, but i dont want to live but i care what happens to him. i dont know why i care but i do, i cant help it. its not natural and if i ever get around to telling him i m going to make sure he appreciates it.
i couldnt help it i needed to know what would happen to him if i killed himself. i asked him and he said it was a probability that he would kill himself..
i tell him we need to go out and get drunk and or wasted... he complains about the alcohol and says that he wants to try othrt drugs. but i cant let him do that. as i get on the bus i call him and let him know, i say " i ll kick your arse if you do drugs"
Not many people anywhere relise that once you start to do drugs the high you get is soooo good but as soon as it starts to weare off you get even more depressed and do things you wouldnt usually do.
i cant hear him well so i tell him i ll call him back later.
when i get off the bus i call him again. this time we talk fo a long time. as we talk i slowly start to feel better, after a while i dont want to kill my self.. its strange but talking to him makes me feel happy.. i spent lots of my money talking to him something like $40. but it was worth it. i wonder if talking to me made him happy. i guess i ll never know.
its been a while since i was talking to him but the happiness is still there i m slowly starting to be deperssed and sad again but not to the point that i was. i dont want to cut my leg as much so i guess its all good for a while.
THE END
hay all,
well it looks like the 4th is still on at the moment, i might need to get some more people to come so anyidea of any alcos that wanna get drunk and play poker and junk like that just let me know.
ALL who are coming to Byron please give me estamations of how much money you are willing to spend on the accomaditiona and perfered places of accomadition.
school was silly today, i had a double free this arvo and it was silly cause we didnt do anything just sat there and played chess.. all i could think about was shot chess. lol i think i need AA. lol. nar this arvo i had a blue cruser and rum and ice cream, chocolate mmm,
well i dont have much left to say so i ll see you all later. okies all
laters.
Love ya.
Rose
Today Is the Big day! was the first thoughts i wake up to in the morning.
Tuesday.
i decided to kill my self in the afternoon, cause thats the time i feel most relaxed, i still havent decided to do it but i m going to!
after a while at school i decied to tell my friend whats going to happen considering he said something like " if you decided you are ready to die at any point,just stop and give me a call on this mobile even if you have to use your home phone. no matter what time it is."
so i sent him a message saying " Tuesday is still the day. i ll let you know what happens"
i go throygh the day in a bored kind of trance thinking only about the afternoon. But during the last lession i got a text. saying things like we care and junk like that, i sent one back but i didnt get a reply. My friend is really starting to stress me out. i cant believe it, i dont want to see him hurt so i say so but it still hasnt changed my mind. i cant help it i just dont want to live. but i dont want to see him hurt, but i dont want to live but i care what happens to him. i dont know why i care but i do, i cant help it. its not natural and if i ever get around to telling him i m going to make sure he appreciates it.
i couldnt help it i needed to know what would happen to him if i killed himself. i asked him and he said it was a probability that he would kill himself..
i tell him we need to go out and get drunk and or wasted... he complains about the alcohol and says that he wants to try othrt drugs. but i cant let him do that. as i get on the bus i call him and let him know, i say " i ll kick your arse if you do drugs"
Not many people anywhere relise that once you start to do drugs the high you get is soooo good but as soon as it starts to weare off you get even more depressed and do things you wouldnt usually do.
i cant hear him well so i tell him i ll call him back later.
when i get off the bus i call him again. this time we talk fo a long time. as we talk i slowly start to feel better, after a while i dont want to kill my self.. its strange but talking to him makes me feel happy.. i spent lots of my money talking to him something like $40. but it was worth it. i wonder if talking to me made him happy. i guess i ll never know.
its been a while since i was talking to him but the happiness is still there i m slowly starting to be deperssed and sad again but not to the point that i was. i dont want to cut my leg as much so i guess its all good for a while.
THE END
hay all,
well it looks like the 4th is still on at the moment, i might need to get some more people to come so anyidea of any alcos that wanna get drunk and play poker and junk like that just let me know.
ALL who are coming to Byron please give me estamations of how much money you are willing to spend on the accomaditiona and perfered places of accomadition.
school was silly today, i had a double free this arvo and it was silly cause we didnt do anything just sat there and played chess.. all i could think about was shot chess. lol i think i need AA. lol. nar this arvo i had a blue cruser and rum and ice cream, chocolate mmm,
well i dont have much left to say so i ll see you all later. okies all
laters.
Love ya.
Rose