i'm in need of inspiration
i feel as though i have no motivation to do anything with my life right now. i've settled with the idea of moving in with my family for awhile until i find something else to the point of not wanting to find any other possibilities for the new year. i don't know if i have just decided that settling is easier than putting up a fight to really find myself or if it really is just that i would enjoy being with my mom and michael for a few months rather than on my own. that's what i'm telling myself right now, but what do i really want for myself now?
that's the problem. shouldn't i know the answer to that question? i mean, no one else can answer that for me, yet i really am at a loss now for answers. i have no real goals right now. i'm applying for the teaching thing and it sounds like a good idea, but i've begun to lose the excitement about it. but even if i had some great opportunity to do wedding planning right now it doesn't seem to make me feel inspired like it should since that's what i believe i'd like to be doing.
i feel like i've begun to give up on myself, but i'm fighting against it. i don't want to give up, i just want a few weeks to just be and not have to worry about what i want to be...i want to be able to just go hang out with friends and relax and find myself. if i don't worry about thinking about what i want and allow myself to be caught up in other things, i think it would come to me. they always say that if you stop searching for something, you'll find it...
i do know that i won't go down without a fight. i refuse to let myself settle for anything less than happiness. one day i'll feel happy about where i am in life and things won't seem so hard.
that's the problem. shouldn't i know the answer to that question? i mean, no one else can answer that for me, yet i really am at a loss now for answers. i have no real goals right now. i'm applying for the teaching thing and it sounds like a good idea, but i've begun to lose the excitement about it. but even if i had some great opportunity to do wedding planning right now it doesn't seem to make me feel inspired like it should since that's what i believe i'd like to be doing.
i feel like i've begun to give up on myself, but i'm fighting against it. i don't want to give up, i just want a few weeks to just be and not have to worry about what i want to be...i want to be able to just go hang out with friends and relax and find myself. if i don't worry about thinking about what i want and allow myself to be caught up in other things, i think it would come to me. they always say that if you stop searching for something, you'll find it...
i do know that i won't go down without a fight. i refuse to let myself settle for anything less than happiness. one day i'll feel happy about where i am in life and things won't seem so hard.