Myshuno! 23: "How to save a life"
Prompt: "How to save a life"
Universe: A Buffyverse Apocalypse
Word Count: 483
The morning after Will lifted Paranormal, everyone woke up to find a list tacked to their front doors.
"Will," Fred said, as she waved the list in his face, "we live with you. Why did you put this on the front door?"
He shrugged. "It needed to get posted. Do you know if Rupert and Lynne have seen it yet?"
"Why would I know that?"
"Then leave it on the front door. They need to see it too."
"Not until you explain the stupid list. I mean, really?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"How about everything?"
"These are the instructions the Reaper gave me when he handed me the bone phone."
"...That is possibly the creepiest thing I have ever heard you say."
Will shrugged again. "If you don't want to follow the list, that's fine, but don't come crying to me when someone else dies before their time and you can't get them back."
Fred stopped. That unfortunately made far too much sense. "Fine," she said. "I'll read the damned thing."
"And remember it?"
"And remember it. And I'll even put it back on the door so Rupert and Lynne see it."
"Great, thanks."
Fred sat down at the kitchen table (it felt incredibly strange, being in that room during the night) and looked at the list, still shaking her head a bit at it.
How to save a life:
1. Try to avoid dying in the first place. Eat enough food, get enough sleep, and avoid dangerous things including ghosts, fire, cowplants, sickness, hail, satellites, ladderless pools, rooms with no doors, and flies. (And plot. And apocalypses. And especially apocalypses with plot.)
2. If someone you know dies and you want them to continue to live, run to the Reaper. Ignore everything else and run as fast as you can to where the Reaper is meeting the dying person. If you do not have a good relationship with the person you are trying to save, don't even bother trying. The Reaper will ignore you. If you don't have a good relationship with the person or do not make it to the Reaper in time, move to step 6.
3. Kneel.
4. Beg.
5. If you beg well enough, the Reaper will let you pick which of his hands is holding the soul of your loved one. If you are lucky, you will pick correctly and your loved one will be returned to you. If you pick incorrectly, move to step 6.
6. Locate someone who owns a bone phone and beg, borrow, or steal the use of it.
7. Call the Reaper's Office.
8. Pay to have your loved one returned to you. Make sure to pay enough money, or you risk losing the money entirely or having your loved one return to life as a zombie.
9. Enjoy the rest of your time with your loved one...until their time comes again!
Universe: A Buffyverse Apocalypse
Word Count: 483
The morning after Will lifted Paranormal, everyone woke up to find a list tacked to their front doors.
"Will," Fred said, as she waved the list in his face, "we live with you. Why did you put this on the front door?"
He shrugged. "It needed to get posted. Do you know if Rupert and Lynne have seen it yet?"
"Why would I know that?"
"Then leave it on the front door. They need to see it too."
"Not until you explain the stupid list. I mean, really?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"How about everything?"
"These are the instructions the Reaper gave me when he handed me the bone phone."
"...That is possibly the creepiest thing I have ever heard you say."
Will shrugged again. "If you don't want to follow the list, that's fine, but don't come crying to me when someone else dies before their time and you can't get them back."
Fred stopped. That unfortunately made far too much sense. "Fine," she said. "I'll read the damned thing."
"And remember it?"
"And remember it. And I'll even put it back on the door so Rupert and Lynne see it."
"Great, thanks."
Fred sat down at the kitchen table (it felt incredibly strange, being in that room during the night) and looked at the list, still shaking her head a bit at it.
How to save a life:
1. Try to avoid dying in the first place. Eat enough food, get enough sleep, and avoid dangerous things including ghosts, fire, cowplants, sickness, hail, satellites, ladderless pools, rooms with no doors, and flies. (And plot. And apocalypses. And especially apocalypses with plot.)
2. If someone you know dies and you want them to continue to live, run to the Reaper. Ignore everything else and run as fast as you can to where the Reaper is meeting the dying person. If you do not have a good relationship with the person you are trying to save, don't even bother trying. The Reaper will ignore you. If you don't have a good relationship with the person or do not make it to the Reaper in time, move to step 6.
3. Kneel.
4. Beg.
5. If you beg well enough, the Reaper will let you pick which of his hands is holding the soul of your loved one. If you are lucky, you will pick correctly and your loved one will be returned to you. If you pick incorrectly, move to step 6.
6. Locate someone who owns a bone phone and beg, borrow, or steal the use of it.
7. Call the Reaper's Office.
8. Pay to have your loved one returned to you. Make sure to pay enough money, or you risk losing the money entirely or having your loved one return to life as a zombie.
9. Enjoy the rest of your time with your loved one...until their time comes again!