(no subject)
a long story short:
ever since brian and i started dating i'd had this feeling that nahoum (who lived across from me and next to brian) was kinda being a little bit mean to me. i figured it was just some passive agressive cruelty because he felt like i was monopolizing his friend, but since nahoum and i had been friends before brian and i were a couple, i figured it would pass and just tried to be as nice as possible to nahoum. well this semester things seemed different, like nahoum had gotten over the jealousy thing and was nice to me...or i thought maybe i'd been paranoid and he wasn't really mean to me last semester. this past saturday morning, after brian made eggs for the three of us (their other housemates were all out of town) i kept getting the feeling that nahoum wanted me to leave so he could have some time to hang out with brian alone. so i pulled brian aside and mentioned my feeling and then left, kinda annoyed by the situation.
brian, maybe realizing that i'd been uncomfortable around nahoum previously and not wanting it to continue, asked nahoum what was going on...and thats where the trouble began. throughout the day, in a long drawn out situation that resutled in many conversations and brian walking out a restaurant and walking home on a highway (till i picked him up), nahoum revealed that he'd been mean to me on purpose last semester, that because i'd broken up with dan and then gotten together with brian so quickly he found something morally reprehensible about my character. moreover, he didn't understand why those things he said about me should make me mad.
and when i say he'd been mean to me, it wasn't just passive aggressive stuff. we played wiffle ball one day at a picnic, and i know i'm not good at sports, i can laugh at it. but the way nahoum kept yelling at me and getting mad at me...by five min. into the game i wanted to cry. and yet i endured all of this cause i thought he was jealous, and yeah i was pissed that he was taking it out on me, but i was trying to salvage our friendship and be understanding. butnow i find out that not only was he doing it deliberately, he doesn't even think that should bother me. he thinks i shouldn't mind that he was cruel to me for a whole semester because of a situation he knows nothing about.
i sent brian back to try to stay friends with him, which isn't going so well, although i guess nahoum jut prefers to act as though nothings wrong. and even though i told brian that he and nahoum need to be able to be friendly and live together, i can't help but get upset about it...because i'm so upset and yet nahoum still gets to walk around and pretend likenothings wrong. so for the sake of my boyfriend not being caught in themiddle, i wrote nahoum an email telling him exactly why i was upset (because i didn't want to be in the same room with him to tell him personally)...three days gone by now an dno response.
at this point, if he isn't going to even acknowledge my efforts to repair this, i don't want anything to do with him. and he can just deal with it. cause i refuse to walk on eggshells because he has the mindset of atwo year old. i'm not gonna stay away from the apt more or give him and brian more time, cause that will just make me angrier...if he doesn't want to come to some semblence of peace...he can give me more time and he can avoid me.
at least thats what i say...but i'll probably end up sacrificing time with my boyfriend because i don't like making people uncomfortable. and i don't know how to not continually be angry about this, especially because nahoum doesn't appear to even realize anythings happened, which makes me angrier. i honestly think he needs a labotomy, that he's a sociopath and doesn't care about anything but himself...or maybe i'm just being angry...but the point is that i'm the one who got hurt and yet i'm the one making all the effort toward resolution (even if it was just an email)...i'm the one who has to deal with the fact that i can't stand nahoum and yet nahoum is maintaining this bff relationship with my boyfriend as though nothings wrong.
i don't know what to do, this is taking so much out of me. and it doesn't seem like i'm gonna get anything out of him, especially not an apology. i don' teven know if i handled this correctly or not. i just wish i could make him dissappear...and thats complete honesty.
ever since brian and i started dating i'd had this feeling that nahoum (who lived across from me and next to brian) was kinda being a little bit mean to me. i figured it was just some passive agressive cruelty because he felt like i was monopolizing his friend, but since nahoum and i had been friends before brian and i were a couple, i figured it would pass and just tried to be as nice as possible to nahoum. well this semester things seemed different, like nahoum had gotten over the jealousy thing and was nice to me...or i thought maybe i'd been paranoid and he wasn't really mean to me last semester. this past saturday morning, after brian made eggs for the three of us (their other housemates were all out of town) i kept getting the feeling that nahoum wanted me to leave so he could have some time to hang out with brian alone. so i pulled brian aside and mentioned my feeling and then left, kinda annoyed by the situation.
brian, maybe realizing that i'd been uncomfortable around nahoum previously and not wanting it to continue, asked nahoum what was going on...and thats where the trouble began. throughout the day, in a long drawn out situation that resutled in many conversations and brian walking out a restaurant and walking home on a highway (till i picked him up), nahoum revealed that he'd been mean to me on purpose last semester, that because i'd broken up with dan and then gotten together with brian so quickly he found something morally reprehensible about my character. moreover, he didn't understand why those things he said about me should make me mad.
and when i say he'd been mean to me, it wasn't just passive aggressive stuff. we played wiffle ball one day at a picnic, and i know i'm not good at sports, i can laugh at it. but the way nahoum kept yelling at me and getting mad at me...by five min. into the game i wanted to cry. and yet i endured all of this cause i thought he was jealous, and yeah i was pissed that he was taking it out on me, but i was trying to salvage our friendship and be understanding. butnow i find out that not only was he doing it deliberately, he doesn't even think that should bother me. he thinks i shouldn't mind that he was cruel to me for a whole semester because of a situation he knows nothing about.
i sent brian back to try to stay friends with him, which isn't going so well, although i guess nahoum jut prefers to act as though nothings wrong. and even though i told brian that he and nahoum need to be able to be friendly and live together, i can't help but get upset about it...because i'm so upset and yet nahoum still gets to walk around and pretend likenothings wrong. so for the sake of my boyfriend not being caught in themiddle, i wrote nahoum an email telling him exactly why i was upset (because i didn't want to be in the same room with him to tell him personally)...three days gone by now an dno response.
at this point, if he isn't going to even acknowledge my efforts to repair this, i don't want anything to do with him. and he can just deal with it. cause i refuse to walk on eggshells because he has the mindset of atwo year old. i'm not gonna stay away from the apt more or give him and brian more time, cause that will just make me angrier...if he doesn't want to come to some semblence of peace...he can give me more time and he can avoid me.
at least thats what i say...but i'll probably end up sacrificing time with my boyfriend because i don't like making people uncomfortable. and i don't know how to not continually be angry about this, especially because nahoum doesn't appear to even realize anythings happened, which makes me angrier. i honestly think he needs a labotomy, that he's a sociopath and doesn't care about anything but himself...or maybe i'm just being angry...but the point is that i'm the one who got hurt and yet i'm the one making all the effort toward resolution (even if it was just an email)...i'm the one who has to deal with the fact that i can't stand nahoum and yet nahoum is maintaining this bff relationship with my boyfriend as though nothings wrong.
i don't know what to do, this is taking so much out of me. and it doesn't seem like i'm gonna get anything out of him, especially not an apology. i don' teven know if i handled this correctly or not. i just wish i could make him dissappear...and thats complete honesty.