Sweet Christ...
I'm a senior, and yes I am here, and alive and doing just a step away from the usually batshit insane that goes along with being a DePauw Student. More particularly, a DePauw Music student...Senior.
I'm writing this entry because for some strange reason, when the days seem to get shorter and my body aches more and more every night as I literally trudge past the sororities and fraternities to my small rector village floor, and the air has gotten crisp enough to rely on a staple of worn in jeans and hooded sweatshirts, I realize that its fall and I wonder what the rest of the world is doing.
I have so much that I could tell you, and in accordance with my avoidance of practicing\studying\reading\anythinghavingtodowithanything I will just start talking and see where I end up... sound good?
This summer I hacked it all the way up to French Quebec, an entirely different Country... and world? It was a 15 hour drive, and my first real trip like that alone, looking back I'm kind of impressed with that and am not sure that I would do such a thing again, ok I would. There, I took classes and lessons with Elaine Douvas principal of the Metropolitan Opera and teacher at Juilliard as well as Linda Strommen of IU. It was a great experience, and it definately gave me some new perspective on the world that I am more seriously and seriously entering every time I pick up that damn oboe. After an intense week of music I departed on a 10 hour jaunt to NYC... piece of cake right? I guess it actually was because somehow I got myself from fake France to the Waldorf Astoria in the same day. I met my mom and sister there, Kelsey was doing another NYC dance thing and so we camped out for like 11 days or something and my mom and I basically shopped ALL day every single day, I fantasized about going to Juillard or MSM, and everyone was happy. The rest of the summer was spent working in my Mom's shop, worrying about grad school, and the occasional... ok daily practice sessions.
Now I'm here. At DePauw. Standing by as years are taken off of my life right before my eyes between Mozart topics class, World Lit., all of the other classes, band, orchestra, chamber music, playing for like 3 people's recitals and preparing for grad school applications\AUDITIONS. Its good though, because its becoming more and more real to me now knowing that next year at this time I won't be anywhere near here... I'll be stressed out about a whole new cast of characters and change of scene.
I miss Jenna, and Ali, and the old times at Delta Gamma. I feel like I am already an alumna DG, the chapter has changed so much and I almost feel as though its ok to just accept that and realize that I had some good memories there and I'm on my way out anyway so why worry that the house is in turmoil, you know? On the other hand, there is still that silly part of me that is selfishly worrying that when I leave here, I will regret not having gotten more out of that house than I did... I hate regret.
I'm adjusting to the fact that there is in fact a real, living, breathing, thriving world outside of this tiny campus... and that the friends will still be friends, there won't be Phi Psi, or Kappa Kappa Gamma, or Delta Gamma. There will just be people... like everyone else... judged on their talents and their minds, working, living and just being... I feel like I'm already there, or at least I wish I was.
Today Tyler got his student teaching assignment at Bloomington North HS... they are a really talented and EXCELLENT program. I'm so proud of him, he is really making things happen the way I hoped that he would start wanting to. More and more, I'm excited thinking about our relationship and our life together and where we are going to be in a year, two years, ten years... it can be scary but I just have this faith that things will be ok and its exciting and somehow less scary and stressful (sometimes) knowing that I am going out into this world with someone like him looking out for me and caring so much about me. We had our 2 year annniversary a couple weekends ago (My 22nd bday on September 18th) and a couple weeks before that we looked at engagement rings for the first time! It seems like two weeks not two years ago that I was running into his room at SAE to grab a bud light or some disgusting concoction and listen them all sit around and play guitar... now we're all taking LSATS and GREs and auditions, and job offers and basically planning our moves away from everything we've known for the past 4 years of our lives. I feel like so much has happened, and so much has changed... but its only 4 years... is the rest of life going to be so intense? I think so probably.
I'm writing this entry because for some strange reason, when the days seem to get shorter and my body aches more and more every night as I literally trudge past the sororities and fraternities to my small rector village floor, and the air has gotten crisp enough to rely on a staple of worn in jeans and hooded sweatshirts, I realize that its fall and I wonder what the rest of the world is doing.
I have so much that I could tell you, and in accordance with my avoidance of practicing\studying\reading\anythinghavingtodowithanything I will just start talking and see where I end up... sound good?
This summer I hacked it all the way up to French Quebec, an entirely different Country... and world? It was a 15 hour drive, and my first real trip like that alone, looking back I'm kind of impressed with that and am not sure that I would do such a thing again, ok I would. There, I took classes and lessons with Elaine Douvas principal of the Metropolitan Opera and teacher at Juilliard as well as Linda Strommen of IU. It was a great experience, and it definately gave me some new perspective on the world that I am more seriously and seriously entering every time I pick up that damn oboe. After an intense week of music I departed on a 10 hour jaunt to NYC... piece of cake right? I guess it actually was because somehow I got myself from fake France to the Waldorf Astoria in the same day. I met my mom and sister there, Kelsey was doing another NYC dance thing and so we camped out for like 11 days or something and my mom and I basically shopped ALL day every single day, I fantasized about going to Juillard or MSM, and everyone was happy. The rest of the summer was spent working in my Mom's shop, worrying about grad school, and the occasional... ok daily practice sessions.
Now I'm here. At DePauw. Standing by as years are taken off of my life right before my eyes between Mozart topics class, World Lit., all of the other classes, band, orchestra, chamber music, playing for like 3 people's recitals and preparing for grad school applications\AUDITIONS. Its good though, because its becoming more and more real to me now knowing that next year at this time I won't be anywhere near here... I'll be stressed out about a whole new cast of characters and change of scene.
I miss Jenna, and Ali, and the old times at Delta Gamma. I feel like I am already an alumna DG, the chapter has changed so much and I almost feel as though its ok to just accept that and realize that I had some good memories there and I'm on my way out anyway so why worry that the house is in turmoil, you know? On the other hand, there is still that silly part of me that is selfishly worrying that when I leave here, I will regret not having gotten more out of that house than I did... I hate regret.
I'm adjusting to the fact that there is in fact a real, living, breathing, thriving world outside of this tiny campus... and that the friends will still be friends, there won't be Phi Psi, or Kappa Kappa Gamma, or Delta Gamma. There will just be people... like everyone else... judged on their talents and their minds, working, living and just being... I feel like I'm already there, or at least I wish I was.
Today Tyler got his student teaching assignment at Bloomington North HS... they are a really talented and EXCELLENT program. I'm so proud of him, he is really making things happen the way I hoped that he would start wanting to. More and more, I'm excited thinking about our relationship and our life together and where we are going to be in a year, two years, ten years... it can be scary but I just have this faith that things will be ok and its exciting and somehow less scary and stressful (sometimes) knowing that I am going out into this world with someone like him looking out for me and caring so much about me. We had our 2 year annniversary a couple weekends ago (My 22nd bday on September 18th) and a couple weeks before that we looked at engagement rings for the first time! It seems like two weeks not two years ago that I was running into his room at SAE to grab a bud light or some disgusting concoction and listen them all sit around and play guitar... now we're all taking LSATS and GREs and auditions, and job offers and basically planning our moves away from everything we've known for the past 4 years of our lives. I feel like so much has happened, and so much has changed... but its only 4 years... is the rest of life going to be so intense? I think so probably.