depression and phone calls and how ignoring the problem didn't make it any better

[rose_griffes]

I haven't updated about dealing with depression for a while. Mostly because I had nothing to say: it was still there and I wasn't dealing with it very well, and so it went.

Comments

[brickhousewench]

Been there, done that. I had a bad bout with depression back in 2006. My best friend and I "broke up", my boyfriend dumped me very unexpectedly, and a very, very dear friend passed away, all within a space of two or three weeks. After crying myself to sleep every night for (literally) two months a friend gently suggested that I might have a problem. I'm so glad I listened. And that one of my friends (who I never would have suspected had depression) had recently mentioned that he was "the poster boy for Welbutrin." I went shrink shopping, and after appointments with three different therapists, found one I thought I could work with.

I had, erm, tummy problems with Celexa. I had to go off it after less than a week, things were so bad. But then we tried Lexapro, and I took that for a couple of years. I tried weaning myself off it twice, unsuccessfully, but I've been off it for over a year now I think? However, if I felt like I needed it, my doctor has no problem writing me a new script.

Keep trying until you find a therapist you can work with. Keep trying until you find medication that works with your brain chemistry. Once it all kicks in, OH MY GOD, it's so worth it. One of the best things I ever did for myself.

*encouraging virtual hugs*

[rose_griffes]

Oh wow, your 2006 sounds like a personal recipe for depression.

I can pinpoint some specific things that probably contributed to mine, although there's also a long family history of mental illness, on both sides of the family. Thank goodness my mother decided that she was going to break the taboo, and talk about it openly. It meant that I knew to pay attention when the symptoms had been there for a bit, and that there are things to try to address it. Unfortunately no one can make the phone calls for me in order to get me to try those things.

Celexa has some of the worst side effects and worst "get off the meds" problems that I've ever seen. It's scary. Presumably it works well enough for a significant set of the population, but when I read about those problems, I had even more motivation to stop using it after just a week. (And the muscle twitches it gave me were keeping me awake, which was already bad enough with depression, so... yeah. Glad to stop.)

I am planning to try therapy again soon-ish. I do want to give the meds some time to do their job, though. I can really tell a difference in my thought processes on good days versus bad days; it's really striking how that negative self-chatter just seems to show up instantly when it's a bad day.

Thanks. ((hugs back))

[brickhousewench]

But the worst thing about the Celexa is that it's cheaper than Lexapro, and we know how insurance companies like cheaper alternatives.. So every time I changed jobs/insurance companies, they'd say, "There's a cheaper alternative. Have you tried Celexa?" And I'd shout, "YES, it doesn't agree with me!" Argh! Did they think I was taking a more expensive med just because I like spending money?

And I hear you on the negative self chatter. I like to say that what the Lexapro did for me was take away the megaphone from my Inner Critic. The thoughts were still there, but a lot quieter.