depression and phone calls and how ignoring the problem didn't make it any better
I haven't updated about dealing with depression for a while. Mostly because I had nothing to say: it was still there and I wasn't dealing with it very well, and so it went. I tried two different anti-depressants during the summer of 2011; both had problematic side effects. So I decided to try therapy. Only it took me ages to actually call for an appointment, because my weird "I don't like making phone calls to ask for things, especially to people I don't know well" pattern is apparently exacerbated when I'm experiencing depression.
Finally had two appointments with the therapist, and I found it interesting and thought-provoking. Had a third appointment set up, and she had to cancel, and... I never called to reschedule. See above about phone calls.
The summer went by okay. I was traveling a lot to visit family, which is positive, and I was writing popcorn fic, which interested me. Then work started again. I think it's safe to say that within the US, people don't stay in teaching for the great monetary rewards. I like my job. But with depression, a lot of that has faded. It's been a struggle. And I'm quite certain it is the depression, and not who I am underneath that.
So I finally--finally--called my doctor again and got a prescription for another anti-depressant. This time I went in with the name of the med that both of my parents were taking at one point. (Have I mentioned the family tendency toward mental health problems? Yeah, that's definitely a thing.) It's an older anti-depressant, and the list of potential side effects is much less scary than some of the newer meds.
It's been about four weeks, but at the low starting dose, the doctor said I would be unlikely to notice any major changes. I just started the next higher dose this week. On the plus side: no loss of appetite (like with Prozac), no muscle twitches (like with Celexa). The day after my first dose I felt completely exhausted, food tasted funny and my tongue felt dry. Those first two symptoms were gone by the next day, and while I'm still feeling some dryness/thirst, it's not really a problem.
So. Better than last summer, at any rate. We'll see if this makes a difference for me. And that's the end of the update, I guess...
Posted at Dreamwidth: http://rose-griffes.dreamwidth.org/258324.html. Comment where you wish.
Finally had two appointments with the therapist, and I found it interesting and thought-provoking. Had a third appointment set up, and she had to cancel, and... I never called to reschedule. See above about phone calls.
The summer went by okay. I was traveling a lot to visit family, which is positive, and I was writing popcorn fic, which interested me. Then work started again. I think it's safe to say that within the US, people don't stay in teaching for the great monetary rewards. I like my job. But with depression, a lot of that has faded. It's been a struggle. And I'm quite certain it is the depression, and not who I am underneath that.
So I finally--finally--called my doctor again and got a prescription for another anti-depressant. This time I went in with the name of the med that both of my parents were taking at one point. (Have I mentioned the family tendency toward mental health problems? Yeah, that's definitely a thing.) It's an older anti-depressant, and the list of potential side effects is much less scary than some of the newer meds.
It's been about four weeks, but at the low starting dose, the doctor said I would be unlikely to notice any major changes. I just started the next higher dose this week. On the plus side: no loss of appetite (like with Prozac), no muscle twitches (like with Celexa). The day after my first dose I felt completely exhausted, food tasted funny and my tongue felt dry. Those first two symptoms were gone by the next day, and while I'm still feeling some dryness/thirst, it's not really a problem.
So. Better than last summer, at any rate. We'll see if this makes a difference for me. And that's the end of the update, I guess...
Posted at Dreamwidth: http://rose-griffes.dreamwidth.org/258324.html. Comment where you wish.