six months i know
no one reads this i know. But some of me wishes someone would. Hey WORLD! ITS BEEN YEARS and im STILL NOT OK. How many times do you have to fucking tell people that? How many times do you have to tell someone i cant help myself but i cant move forward without it?
I am actually cleaning just in hopes that i can have everyone over. That Everyone can come see me so i dont have to be alone. I know nothing will get fixed, but at least i can have someone look at me like i am important. I want to hang out with Caleb more. He looks at me like he is in love.. and he probably is, but its ok. I hate that I use that a bit, but I need to be looked at like im worth something. I need someone to notice when there is sad in my eyes and not just get fed up and say 'here we go again'.
News Flash: Until I get help, "here we go again" is going to be thought a lot.
No, I am not suicidal. I am not going to turn to drugs (no matter how much i want to). This just all makes it worse. I have no outlet, no escape. I am ACTUALLY having to face being fucking miserable and now that I am not turning towards negative outlets, no positive ones are making themselves available.
I am so sad. And It makes me so angry that no one notices.
Thats all I guess.
Haley Rose
I am actually cleaning just in hopes that i can have everyone over. That Everyone can come see me so i dont have to be alone. I know nothing will get fixed, but at least i can have someone look at me like i am important. I want to hang out with Caleb more. He looks at me like he is in love.. and he probably is, but its ok. I hate that I use that a bit, but I need to be looked at like im worth something. I need someone to notice when there is sad in my eyes and not just get fed up and say 'here we go again'.
News Flash: Until I get help, "here we go again" is going to be thought a lot.
No, I am not suicidal. I am not going to turn to drugs (no matter how much i want to). This just all makes it worse. I have no outlet, no escape. I am ACTUALLY having to face being fucking miserable and now that I am not turning towards negative outlets, no positive ones are making themselves available.
I am so sad. And It makes me so angry that no one notices.
Thats all I guess.
Haley Rose