Everybody know what "sporking" is?
Well, I didn't, until I found badfic_quotes.
My first sporking. I hope it doesn’t suck LOL. Sporking and comments in bold.
Allegedly a Doctor Who fic, with - 10th Doctor & Rose T. - being the characters.
A/N: A special thank you to … my unofficial beta, who would not stop pestering me until I completed this story! And is really sorry she didn’t. Also, she’s changed her name and left the state.
…I kind of took the names Romeo and Juliet and made them Roman and Julie.
If Shakespeare were alive, he’d thank you for that.
Mainly because I am super tired and can't be bothered coming up with original names. I suck at naming LOL. And couldn’t be bothered to put them in the character list.
Roman...rushed past the bored woman at the receptionist desk, who was tired of being in badfic, and jumped into an elevator. Whee! First floor. Second floor. It was going too slowly for his liking. Besides, it wouldn’t shut up. Third floor. Men’s toiletries! Fourth floor. Roman sprinted out of the yappy elevator…
He made it to his beloved’s room.
… Her hair matted and a countless number of tubes sticking out of her.
The elevator could probably have counted them, but…
Invisible hands tugged at his heart from all directions…
Uh…what?
“Julie,” He whispered to himself under his breath…
As opposed to whispering at the top of his lungs.
…“Julie,” The way Roman said it would have made a conscious person burst into tears.
As opposed to…what?
…He took her hand and held it to his lips before putting it in both of his hands and stroking it with his thumbs. Does that sentence sound creepy to anyone else?
…Julie stirred underneath Roman’s gaze and her eyes wavered for a moment.
Neat trick, considering they were closed…
…Julie’s eyes slowly flickered open and she looked into the eyes of the man who stole her heart. Is that the guy with all the invisible hands?
More urple prose, then Julie went into V-fib, doctors and nurses rushed in, etc., and it looked like they were going to use the defibrillator, but…
…an electric shot racing though Julie’s fragile body.
Apparently they used a Taser gun instead! I’m glad I don’t have that HMO…
This nightmare of a badfic continued for a few more minutes, until the doctor put the machine Taser away and walked up to Roman… Roman’s hushed whisper cut him off and gave him left the message to leave on his answering machine.
…Roman moved a seat back to Julie’s bed and whispered softly in her ear three words. Not caring that she couldn’t hear him. Not caring about life.
Isn’t that eleven words?
On the other side of the TV, otherwise known as reality…
Thanks for clearing that up!
…a certain redheaded companion had tears streaming down her face and was sobbing uncontrollably. Enter insultingly OOC Donna. The author couldn’t be bovvered bothered to put her in the character list either.
While, somehow, managing to suffocate a random teddy bear by squeezing it to her chest with inhuman strength. I…um…I don’t even know where to start. Knock yourselves out. Oh, and would somebody icon that, please?
…Donna picked up the remote and turned off the TV, leaving Roman next to Julie’s bed trapped inside the dark television with a solitary tear running down his cheek. That emo tear of doom really gets around!
Donna stood up and walked towards the sound of explosions and the Doctor’s swearing.
Enter insultingly OOC 10th Doctor. Because EVERYBODY knows the Doctor swears like a sailor. At least he’s in the character list. Insultingly OOC Rose must be around here somewhere…
The Doctor’s head peeked out from under the console when he heard Donna's loud footsteps… Clomp, clomp!
Donna was still crying her eyes out over the bad sad movie.
…"What was it about?" The Doctor asked… smirking a little. Because EVERYBODY knows the Doctor is an insensitive git.
"Some... idiot didn't tell the girl he loved that he loved her before it was too late,” Donna was trying to stop the tears that came rolling down her face before she passed out from dehydration. Is Rose in the fic or not?
…"God, I'd hate that man if that movie was real," Donna said, oblivious to the fact that the Doctor was motionless. Because EVERYBODY knows that Donna is utterly clueless about how the Doctor is.
[The Doctor was] turning back to the console and fiddling with buttons and levers stroking bits of the TARDIS. Rose could have told the author that that’s what he does. If only she were in the fic…
Donna sniffed and put the DVD…in front of the Doctor. "Here, you can watch it if you like, you insensitive git."
…"Oh no, I don't think that will be necessary," He said while patting the DVD cover fondly, making the TARDIS insanely jealous, in addition to being mad she’s not in the character list either! (And she wants to know where Rose is!)
Donna muttered something that sounded a lot like "Whatever…Oh, look, she’s in character! No, wait…that’s in character for Jack. My mistake.
…the Doctor opened the lid of the case and read the dedication.
To a precious rose.
Oh, there she is.
Forever yours,
John Smith.
*vomits*
I suspect trollfic. It was fun sporking, anyway. (If you’re the troll and you’re reading this, hope you enjoyed.)
Link to actual fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4662705/1/Forever_Yours
Crossposted to badfic_quotes community.
My first sporking. I hope it doesn’t suck LOL. Sporking and comments in bold.
Allegedly a Doctor Who fic, with - 10th Doctor & Rose T. - being the characters.
A/N: A special thank you to … my unofficial beta, who would not stop pestering me until I completed this story! And is really sorry she didn’t. Also, she’s changed her name and left the state.
…I kind of took the names Romeo and Juliet and made them Roman and Julie.
If Shakespeare were alive, he’d thank you for that.
Mainly because I am super tired and can't be bothered coming up with original names. I suck at naming LOL. And couldn’t be bothered to put them in the character list.
Roman...rushed past the bored woman at the receptionist desk, who was tired of being in badfic, and jumped into an elevator. Whee! First floor. Second floor. It was going too slowly for his liking. Besides, it wouldn’t shut up. Third floor. Men’s toiletries! Fourth floor. Roman sprinted out of the yappy elevator…
He made it to his beloved’s room.
… Her hair matted and a countless number of tubes sticking out of her.
The elevator could probably have counted them, but…
Invisible hands tugged at his heart from all directions…
Uh…what?
“Julie,” He whispered to himself under his breath…
As opposed to whispering at the top of his lungs.
…“Julie,” The way Roman said it would have made a conscious person burst into tears.
As opposed to…what?
…He took her hand and held it to his lips before putting it in both of his hands and stroking it with his thumbs. Does that sentence sound creepy to anyone else?
…Julie stirred underneath Roman’s gaze and her eyes wavered for a moment.
Neat trick, considering they were closed…
…Julie’s eyes slowly flickered open and she looked into the eyes of the man who stole her heart. Is that the guy with all the invisible hands?
More urple prose, then Julie went into V-fib, doctors and nurses rushed in, etc., and it looked like they were going to use the defibrillator, but…
…an electric shot racing though Julie’s fragile body.
Apparently they used a Taser gun instead! I’m glad I don’t have that HMO…
This nightmare of a badfic continued for a few more minutes, until the doctor put the machine Taser away and walked up to Roman… Roman’s hushed whisper cut him off and gave him left the message to leave on his answering machine.
…Roman moved a seat back to Julie’s bed and whispered softly in her ear three words. Not caring that she couldn’t hear him. Not caring about life.
Isn’t that eleven words?
On the other side of the TV, otherwise known as reality…
Thanks for clearing that up!
…a certain redheaded companion had tears streaming down her face and was sobbing uncontrollably. Enter insultingly OOC Donna. The author couldn’t be bovvered bothered to put her in the character list either.
While, somehow, managing to suffocate a random teddy bear by squeezing it to her chest with inhuman strength. I…um…I don’t even know where to start. Knock yourselves out. Oh, and would somebody icon that, please?
…Donna picked up the remote and turned off the TV, leaving Roman next to Julie’s bed trapped inside the dark television with a solitary tear running down his cheek. That emo tear of doom really gets around!
Donna stood up and walked towards the sound of explosions and the Doctor’s swearing.
Enter insultingly OOC 10th Doctor. Because EVERYBODY knows the Doctor swears like a sailor. At least he’s in the character list. Insultingly OOC Rose must be around here somewhere…
The Doctor’s head peeked out from under the console when he heard Donna's loud footsteps… Clomp, clomp!
Donna was still crying her eyes out over the bad sad movie.
…"What was it about?" The Doctor asked… smirking a little. Because EVERYBODY knows the Doctor is an insensitive git.
"Some... idiot didn't tell the girl he loved that he loved her before it was too late,” Donna was trying to stop the tears that came rolling down her face before she passed out from dehydration. Is Rose in the fic or not?
…"God, I'd hate that man if that movie was real," Donna said, oblivious to the fact that the Doctor was motionless. Because EVERYBODY knows that Donna is utterly clueless about how the Doctor is.
[The Doctor was] turning back to the console and fiddling with buttons and levers stroking bits of the TARDIS. Rose could have told the author that that’s what he does. If only she were in the fic…
Donna sniffed and put the DVD…in front of the Doctor. "Here, you can watch it if you like, you insensitive git."
…"Oh no, I don't think that will be necessary," He said while patting the DVD cover fondly, making the TARDIS insanely jealous, in addition to being mad she’s not in the character list either! (And she wants to know where Rose is!)
Donna muttered something that sounded a lot like "Whatever…Oh, look, she’s in character! No, wait…that’s in character for Jack. My mistake.
…the Doctor opened the lid of the case and read the dedication.
To a precious rose.
Oh, there she is.
Forever yours,
John Smith.
*vomits*
I suspect trollfic. It was fun sporking, anyway. (If you’re the troll and you’re reading this, hope you enjoyed.)
Link to actual fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4662705/1/Forever_Yours
Crossposted to badfic_quotes community.