Somewhere in Wolverhampton, Day Three, Afternoon [Possibly]
"So this island you've been on has monsters, magicians, and... mermaids?"
"Yes, Jake, we have those," Rose said, exasperated. "How many times do I have to repeat it for you to believe me?"
"Until you bring proof."
"We work for Torchwood! Impossible things are normal for us, how can you possibly be a skeptic after everythin'?"
"Just call me Lana Mully to your Sculder."
Rose rolled her eyes, which was a feat considering she was chest deep in mud. She had mud in places she didn't even want to think about. "You're just jealous you're not a petite redhead."
"Think I look pretty gorgeous the way I am, thanks."
"Blond and mouthy?"
"That'd be you, you're describing."
"What can I say? Mickey has a type." Rose pushed at a weed. She thought after the rain festival in Fandom she'd be dry. No joy with her luck. "Are you sure you're readin' that thing right?"
Jake wiped the mud from his eyes, "Pretty sure I am."
"Pretty sure? Just pretty sure? You mean you're not certain?!" Rose gestured at the mud bog that magically (or temporally or dimensionally) appeared out of nowhere. "D'you mean we've been trekking through all this sh--"
"Ah-ah, no cursing." Jake waggled his finger at her. "Think of the children."
"Oh, bugger off," she snapped. "Just tell, are we lost?"
He moved a foot a way. "'Course not, the scanner says we're right on the-- oi!"
Rose pulled the scanner from Jake's hand, stared at it and glared, "It's broken!"
"It is not!"
"Is too! Readin's all over the place!"
"Doesn't mean it's broken, just," he made a wobbly gesture with his muddy hand, "lots of interference."
She didn't drop the glare. "And you were going to tell me when?"
"Soon," he said, sincerely. "Ish. When we passed the whole lot where there are rocks and sticks so's you won't hit me."
"Do you mean to say we've been wanderin' around, lost in the world's worst playground, for a better part of an hour?"
Jake grinned at her, as if he thought that by grinning she'd be won over by his male logic. Grinning didn't save the Doctor from a slap when he'd gone and ruined Rose's whole wardrobe that one time, why did Jake thing he'd be any different? "And what makes you think I still won't hit you with my bag?"
"A sense of decency?" He gestured at her rucksack. "And taste? Prada's better for hittin' people with." Just for that, Rose hit him on the arm. He yelped and stuck his tongue out at her. "If you're done bein' violent and channelin' your mother, can you do that thing you do?"
"What thing?" Rose asked, confused. She winced and moved forward, trying to find some place higher.
"You know, when you sniff the air, taste the trees."
"What do you think I am, a yappy dog?"
"Well, you an' that dog have the same name... Ow! Stop hittin' me!"
"Don't be a baby," Rose said and tiptoed. Was that..? It looked like land. She grabbed Jake's collar. "I think I see land."
"Is that you're dog sense talking?"
Prada or not, the rucksack really made for great head thwapping.
[NFB due to distance]