the sad thing is, most of this story is actually true.
Terrible news:
I was driving my poor (mostly) blind mother to the bank today (don't feel sorry for her; as will soon be revealed, she's an awful person and doesn't deserve it) and we were chatting happily about tater tots and Jeopardy and asbestos - you know, normal mother-daughter stuff - and out of nowhere she says, "I do like the way you wear your bangs these days, but isn't it sort of - oh, what's that word. That thing people call you that you hate."
YOU GUYS. MY MOTHER CALLED ME A FUCKING HIPSTER.
So I kicked her out of the car and drove away, blasting Bon Iver on my stereo and smoking a handrolled clove cigarette.
And now, in slightly better news:
A Doctor Who and Sherlock meme filched from mrv3000 and muneca_brava, because these are the fandoms of my soul.
1. Sherlock or Doctor Who
Already this is impossible.
What exactly am I choosing between, here? Because neither Sherlock nor post-2005 Who exist in isolation for me - their respective source materials are a huge part of what drives my devotion to each show. If we're talking Moffat and Gatiss' Sherlock versus the entire freakin' history of Doctor Who, then obviously Who wins. But if this meme is honestly asking me to choose between Sherlock Holmes in all his incarnations and the Doctor in all of his, then it just cannot be done. It's madness to even ask me to try. I mean, it may actually drive me mad.
What is this meme trying to do to me?
2. Moriarty or the Master?
I would like to counter this question with an analogy:
Delgado!Master is to Simm!Master as Canon!Moriarty is to BBC!Moriarty.
Thoughts? Questions? Concerns?
3. Benedict or Martin?
I have had an absurd crush on Martin Freeman for at least three times longer than I have even known Benedict Cumberbatch existed, so this is a fairly easy one. I think.
4. Favourite Doctor Who companion?
GOD MEME. AND WE WERE DOING SO WELL.
BarbaraJamieJoSarahJaneLeelaTeganPeriAceCharleyRoseMickeyMarthaDonnaAmyRory.
Oh. I guess that question wasn't so hard after all.
5. Favourite Doctor
*dies*
6. Favourite Sherlock character
John, I think, though I am also excessively fond of Mrs. Hudson, Molly, and Moriarty.
7. Favourite Sherlock episode
Reichenbach Fall may have displaced The Great Game in my affections, but it's hard to say just yet.
8. Favourite Doctor Who episode
For sanity's sake, I'm restricting this answer to New Who: The Doctor Dances, The Satan Pit, Utopia, Midnight, Vincent and the Doctor, The Doctor's Wife.
9. Favourite Doctor Who monster
The giant clam from Genesis of the Daleks. I'm a bit of a Davros fan, too.
10. Least favourite Sherlock character
I genuinely cannot think of an answer to this question. Your mom?
11. Least favourite Doctor Who character
Poor Captain Jack. I've never loved him like I should.
12. The Doctor or Sherlock?
The Doctor. BBC!Sherlock has a lot of growing up to do before he can compete.
(It takes centuries to become as big an asshole as the Doctor. Faking your own death is a pretty good start, though.)
13. Rose Tyler or Amy Pond?
I have to say Rose Tyler, but it's a near thing.
14. Least favourite companion?
I was already cruel to Jack once this meme; don't make me say something I can't take back.
15. Thoughts on Mycroft/Lestrade
Works for me. I don't have any great consuming enthusiasm for the ship, but I do kind of see it.
16. What do you think of Molly Hooper?
MAGIC. KITTENS. CORPSES.
I think a lot of things. Many are best expressed in interpretative dance and elaborate, indescripherable word pictures.
17. Do you believe in Sherlock Holmes?
Of course. Didn't you know? Everytime someone says they don't believe in Sherlock Holmes, a Sherlock Holmes somewhere just drops down dead.
(But he's probably faking it. The bastard.)
18. 10th Doctor or 11th?
Very sneaky, meme, but that shit isn't going to work on me. I WILL NOT CHOOSE.
19. 9th Doctor or 10th
NO.
20. 11th Doctor or 9th
NOOOOO
21. Thoughts on Johnlock?
Oh crap, is that we're calling it now? That is unsightly.
22. Sherlock or Doctor Who cast
I think this one has to go to Doctor Who. Too many amazing moments over the years - Weakest Link, The Proclaimers, Matt Smith and Karen Gillan's long-limbed dorktasticness, everything David Tennant and Catherine Tate have ever said or done - it's just too much.
23. Favourite Sherlock actor
I said Martin Freeman up top, so I'll give this one to Cumberbatch, I suppose. I'm sure he'll appreciate that.
24. Favourite Doctor Who actor
David Tennant is kind of an amazing human being, isn't he? And Catherine Tate's no slouch herself. I pick them.
I was driving my poor (mostly) blind mother to the bank today (don't feel sorry for her; as will soon be revealed, she's an awful person and doesn't deserve it) and we were chatting happily about tater tots and Jeopardy and asbestos - you know, normal mother-daughter stuff - and out of nowhere she says, "I do like the way you wear your bangs these days, but isn't it sort of - oh, what's that word. That thing people call you that you hate."
YOU GUYS. MY MOTHER CALLED ME A FUCKING HIPSTER.
So I kicked her out of the car and drove away, blasting Bon Iver on my stereo and smoking a handrolled clove cigarette.
And now, in slightly better news:
A Doctor Who and Sherlock meme filched from mrv3000 and muneca_brava, because these are the fandoms of my soul.
1. Sherlock or Doctor Who
Already this is impossible.
What exactly am I choosing between, here? Because neither Sherlock nor post-2005 Who exist in isolation for me - their respective source materials are a huge part of what drives my devotion to each show. If we're talking Moffat and Gatiss' Sherlock versus the entire freakin' history of Doctor Who, then obviously Who wins. But if this meme is honestly asking me to choose between Sherlock Holmes in all his incarnations and the Doctor in all of his, then it just cannot be done. It's madness to even ask me to try. I mean, it may actually drive me mad.
What is this meme trying to do to me?
2. Moriarty or the Master?
I would like to counter this question with an analogy:
Delgado!Master is to Simm!Master as Canon!Moriarty is to BBC!Moriarty.
Thoughts? Questions? Concerns?
3. Benedict or Martin?
I have had an absurd crush on Martin Freeman for at least three times longer than I have even known Benedict Cumberbatch existed, so this is a fairly easy one. I think.
4. Favourite Doctor Who companion?
GOD MEME. AND WE WERE DOING SO WELL.
BarbaraJamieJoSarahJaneLeelaTeganPeriAceCharleyRoseMickeyMarthaDonnaAmyRory.
Oh. I guess that question wasn't so hard after all.
5. Favourite Doctor
*dies*
6. Favourite Sherlock character
John, I think, though I am also excessively fond of Mrs. Hudson, Molly, and Moriarty.
7. Favourite Sherlock episode
Reichenbach Fall may have displaced The Great Game in my affections, but it's hard to say just yet.
8. Favourite Doctor Who episode
For sanity's sake, I'm restricting this answer to New Who: The Doctor Dances, The Satan Pit, Utopia, Midnight, Vincent and the Doctor, The Doctor's Wife.
9. Favourite Doctor Who monster
The giant clam from Genesis of the Daleks. I'm a bit of a Davros fan, too.
10. Least favourite Sherlock character
I genuinely cannot think of an answer to this question. Your mom?
11. Least favourite Doctor Who character
Poor Captain Jack. I've never loved him like I should.
12. The Doctor or Sherlock?
The Doctor. BBC!Sherlock has a lot of growing up to do before he can compete.
(It takes centuries to become as big an asshole as the Doctor. Faking your own death is a pretty good start, though.)
13. Rose Tyler or Amy Pond?
I have to say Rose Tyler, but it's a near thing.
14. Least favourite companion?
I was already cruel to Jack once this meme; don't make me say something I can't take back.
15. Thoughts on Mycroft/Lestrade
Works for me. I don't have any great consuming enthusiasm for the ship, but I do kind of see it.
16. What do you think of Molly Hooper?
MAGIC. KITTENS. CORPSES.
I think a lot of things. Many are best expressed in interpretative dance and elaborate, indescripherable word pictures.
17. Do you believe in Sherlock Holmes?
Of course. Didn't you know? Everytime someone says they don't believe in Sherlock Holmes, a Sherlock Holmes somewhere just drops down dead.
(But he's probably faking it. The bastard.)
18. 10th Doctor or 11th?
Very sneaky, meme, but that shit isn't going to work on me. I WILL NOT CHOOSE.
19. 9th Doctor or 10th
NO.
20. 11th Doctor or 9th
NOOOOO
21. Thoughts on Johnlock?
Oh crap, is that we're calling it now? That is unsightly.
22. Sherlock or Doctor Who cast
I think this one has to go to Doctor Who. Too many amazing moments over the years - Weakest Link, The Proclaimers, Matt Smith and Karen Gillan's long-limbed dorktasticness, everything David Tennant and Catherine Tate have ever said or done - it's just too much.
23. Favourite Sherlock actor
I said Martin Freeman up top, so I'll give this one to Cumberbatch, I suppose. I'm sure he'll appreciate that.
24. Favourite Doctor Who actor
David Tennant is kind of an amazing human being, isn't he? And Catherine Tate's no slouch herself. I pick them.