Fic: Possibilities, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bananas 3/3
Title: Possibilities, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bananas
The conclusion of my thrilling tale is too long for one post; thus, it has been divided into two.
Part One
Part Two
++
Rose hadn’t realised how much she’d enjoyed being an only child until she wasn’t one anymore.
“You absolute moron,” she seethed, red-faced and tugging futilely under her jumper at the still half-undone clasp of her bra. “What the hell were you thinking, wandering into a strange space ship like that? You didn’t even knock!”
Reggie picked up the Vortexual translator circuit and turned it over carelessly in his hands. “Please. It’s a big blue box with Police written on the front. What other space ship could it possibly be?”
Rose turned to the Doctor for help, but he just shrugged. She gave him a look that quite clearly said, You are useless, and I will remember this moment next time you want to take off my clothes, and then snatched the translator circuit from her brother’s hands. “Mum is going to kill you if she finds out you were in here.”
Reggie grinned. “And who’s going to tell her? You’re, like, five times more scared of her than I am.”
“I am not.”
“Are too.”
“Reginald Prentice Tyler,” Rose growled, but before she could finish her threat Reggie ducked around the console and ran for the corridor that led to the rest of the TARDIS’ many rooms.
Reggie was fast, but Rose was faster - a moment later she had him in a headlock and was dragging him back to the console room. The Doctor watched the struggle from the sidelines, wide-eyed.
“We are never procreating,” he said, sinking down into the mangled armchair, his expression horrified. “For no reason. Absolutely not.”
“Oi!” Reggie said. “No nuggies!”
“I’m not even sure we should be allowed to have a dog,” the Doctor said.
Rose grabbed the Doctor’s arm and pulled him out of the armchair before shoving Reggie into it. The cushion springs made a pitiful twanging sound. Rose took a deep, calming breath, then reached behind her back and fixed her bra clasp. “Doctor, this is my brother Reggie. Reggie, this is the Doctor.”
The Doctor and Reggie each nodded in the other’s general direction, not quite meeting each other’s eyes. Reggie folded his arms over his chest. “So. This is your space ship, then.”
“It’s called the TARDIS,” the Doctor said. “T-A-R-D-I-S. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.”
Reggie sighed as only an eight year old boy can sigh - at once communicating his boredom, your painful ineptitude, and an unfulfilled longing for a Game Boy.
The Doctor stared at him expectantly. “Well?” he said.
Reggie scowled. “Well what?”
“It’s bigger on the inside,” the Doctor said gently, as if he thought Reggie might be a little slow but was too polite to say anything about it.
Reggie sighed again, compounding the effect with a roll of his eyes. “I’ve only been hearing stories about the TARDIS since I was born.” He looked up at Rose. “I thought you said he was clever.”
“He usually is,” Rose said.
Reggie leaned forward in the chair, his expression fierce. “Then why’d it take so long for him to come back, huh? And, what, now that he’s finally shown up he just expects you drop everything and leave with him like you did before?” He looked away. “Mum started crying when she heard he was here. She said she was happy, but I don’t think she was. I think she knows you’re going to leave.”
Rose opened her mouth to argue, but the Doctor touched her arm and she closed it again. He crouched in front of the armchair and met Reggie’s eyes. “Rose isn’t leaving,” he said, his voice even. “I didn’t ask her to, but even if I had - she wouldn’t have said yes.”
Reggie’s hard expression didn’t change. “Why’d you come if you weren’t going to ask her to go with you?”
“I might’ve asked, if things had been different. I didn’t know anything about her life before tonight. I wasn’t even sure how long it would have been for her since we’d separated.”
“She could’ve had kids and stuff,” Reggie said, nodding in comprehension. “She could’ve been dead.”
“Reg,” Rose said, but the Doctor nodded.
“She could’ve been,” he agreed. “Time travel’s like that. No matter how hard you try, you always seem to be too late.”
Reggie thought about this for a moment, picking at a tear in the upholstery. “If you hadn’t come back, you never would’ve known. You can’t be too late if you never show up at all.”
The Doctor smiled and looked as old as Rose had ever seen him. “I thought like that for a long time.”
Reggie frowned. “Why’d you change your mind?”
The Doctor shrugged. “I didn’t, really. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, Reggie, but I’m an old coward at heart. A clever old coward, and once I’d figured how to get here I distracted myself with gadgets and bananas and maths so I wouldn’t have to think about what I’d find when I succeeded.” He stood and slipped his hands into his pockets. “Also, I really wanted to snog your sister.”
Reggie mimed sticking his finger down his throat, gagging.
“Charming,” Rose said, and curled her hand over the Doctor’s shoulder, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. He turned into her, smiling, and her lips found the corner of his mouth.
“Geez,” Reggie said. “You guys are almost as bad as Mickey and Jake.”
Rose went still, eyes wide with disbelief. “Mickey and Jake were-”
“I walked in on them snogging in the laundry room before dinner.” Reggie’s face scrunched up a little at the memory. “I don’t think they’re mad at each other anymore.”
The Doctor’s hand settled low on Rose’s back. “Is this universe always this exciting, or is it only when I’m around?”
“Let me put it this way,” Rose said. “I’m a lot better at Sudoku than I used to be.”
Reggie let his head fall back against the armchair with a thump. “I’m bored. Can we go see the rest of the TARDIS now?”
“Absolutely not,” Rose said, just as the Doctor said, “We could start with the arboretum, if you like.” Their eyes locked - Rose glaring, the Doctor looking rather nervous.
“Reggie,” Rose said, still glaring, “aren’t you hungry? We were supposed to have dinner ages ago.”
Reggie snorted. “Are you kidding? It’s Mum’s night to cook; Dad snuck me a sandwich after I got home from school.”
“He did what?” Jackie thundered, stomping up the ramp to the console room in a storm of velour and sweet-smelling perfume. “Reginald Prentice Tyler, when I say ‘stay in the house or I’ll set all your video games on fire,’ I mean ‘stay in the house or I’ll-’” She paused, looking around the TARDIS. “What the hell happened in here?”
The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “Well, hello to you too, Jackie.”
“Oh, come here, you great alien git,” Jackie said, and threw her arms around him in a crushing hug. The Doctor squeaked, and one pinstripe-clad arm flailed back and forth, as if calling for help.
“This is absolutely nothing like I imagined it,” Pete said from the door, staring up at the vaulted ceiling, his face bathed green in the glow of the time rotor.
Mickey followed him through the door and clapped him on the shoulder. “It’s better, yeah?”
“Food coming through,” Jake said, his arms full of takeaway bags. He slipped past Pete and Mickey and carried the bags up to Rose. “There was an incident with the roast, so we’ve got Chinese. Is there a table in here somewhere?”
“The console will do,” Rose said, and helped him unpack carton after carton, narrowly avoiding the levers and more ominous looking buttons. The smell of kung pao chicken filled the TARDIS.
“Dibs on the egg rolls,” Reggie said, darting out of the armchair and grabbing a carton. Mickey wrapped an arm around his waist and lifted him into the air.
“I don’t think so, pipsqueak,” Mickey said. When he snatched the carton from Reggie’s hand, the boy tried to bite him. “Oi!”
Pete and Jackie were bickering about something - Rose heard the words pot roast and fire extinguisher and bloody disgusting banana bread - and Jake had been pulled into the battle over the egg rolls, trying to keep Mickey from getting chewed on and Reggie from getting dropped head first onto the floor. Rose and the Doctor stood back from the chaos, watching.
“It’s okay if this is too much for you,” Rose said quietly. “I’d understand.”
The Doctor took her hand, fingers fitting smoothly into hers. “No,” he said with a smile. “It’ll be an adventure.”
It was.
++
A few months later Reggie looked up from his bowl of cereal. “Oh! I get it now.”
Jackie closed the refrigerator door. “Get what, love?”
“A banana is funny because it’s shaped like a penis.” He sat back in his chair, shaking his head. “The Doctor is weird.”
The End.
The conclusion of my thrilling tale is too long for one post; thus, it has been divided into two.
Part One
Part Two
++
Rose hadn’t realised how much she’d enjoyed being an only child until she wasn’t one anymore.
“You absolute moron,” she seethed, red-faced and tugging futilely under her jumper at the still half-undone clasp of her bra. “What the hell were you thinking, wandering into a strange space ship like that? You didn’t even knock!”
Reggie picked up the Vortexual translator circuit and turned it over carelessly in his hands. “Please. It’s a big blue box with Police written on the front. What other space ship could it possibly be?”
Rose turned to the Doctor for help, but he just shrugged. She gave him a look that quite clearly said, You are useless, and I will remember this moment next time you want to take off my clothes, and then snatched the translator circuit from her brother’s hands. “Mum is going to kill you if she finds out you were in here.”
Reggie grinned. “And who’s going to tell her? You’re, like, five times more scared of her than I am.”
“I am not.”
“Are too.”
“Reginald Prentice Tyler,” Rose growled, but before she could finish her threat Reggie ducked around the console and ran for the corridor that led to the rest of the TARDIS’ many rooms.
Reggie was fast, but Rose was faster - a moment later she had him in a headlock and was dragging him back to the console room. The Doctor watched the struggle from the sidelines, wide-eyed.
“We are never procreating,” he said, sinking down into the mangled armchair, his expression horrified. “For no reason. Absolutely not.”
“Oi!” Reggie said. “No nuggies!”
“I’m not even sure we should be allowed to have a dog,” the Doctor said.
Rose grabbed the Doctor’s arm and pulled him out of the armchair before shoving Reggie into it. The cushion springs made a pitiful twanging sound. Rose took a deep, calming breath, then reached behind her back and fixed her bra clasp. “Doctor, this is my brother Reggie. Reggie, this is the Doctor.”
The Doctor and Reggie each nodded in the other’s general direction, not quite meeting each other’s eyes. Reggie folded his arms over his chest. “So. This is your space ship, then.”
“It’s called the TARDIS,” the Doctor said. “T-A-R-D-I-S. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.”
Reggie sighed as only an eight year old boy can sigh - at once communicating his boredom, your painful ineptitude, and an unfulfilled longing for a Game Boy.
The Doctor stared at him expectantly. “Well?” he said.
Reggie scowled. “Well what?”
“It’s bigger on the inside,” the Doctor said gently, as if he thought Reggie might be a little slow but was too polite to say anything about it.
Reggie sighed again, compounding the effect with a roll of his eyes. “I’ve only been hearing stories about the TARDIS since I was born.” He looked up at Rose. “I thought you said he was clever.”
“He usually is,” Rose said.
Reggie leaned forward in the chair, his expression fierce. “Then why’d it take so long for him to come back, huh? And, what, now that he’s finally shown up he just expects you drop everything and leave with him like you did before?” He looked away. “Mum started crying when she heard he was here. She said she was happy, but I don’t think she was. I think she knows you’re going to leave.”
Rose opened her mouth to argue, but the Doctor touched her arm and she closed it again. He crouched in front of the armchair and met Reggie’s eyes. “Rose isn’t leaving,” he said, his voice even. “I didn’t ask her to, but even if I had - she wouldn’t have said yes.”
Reggie’s hard expression didn’t change. “Why’d you come if you weren’t going to ask her to go with you?”
“I might’ve asked, if things had been different. I didn’t know anything about her life before tonight. I wasn’t even sure how long it would have been for her since we’d separated.”
“She could’ve had kids and stuff,” Reggie said, nodding in comprehension. “She could’ve been dead.”
“Reg,” Rose said, but the Doctor nodded.
“She could’ve been,” he agreed. “Time travel’s like that. No matter how hard you try, you always seem to be too late.”
Reggie thought about this for a moment, picking at a tear in the upholstery. “If you hadn’t come back, you never would’ve known. You can’t be too late if you never show up at all.”
The Doctor smiled and looked as old as Rose had ever seen him. “I thought like that for a long time.”
Reggie frowned. “Why’d you change your mind?”
The Doctor shrugged. “I didn’t, really. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, Reggie, but I’m an old coward at heart. A clever old coward, and once I’d figured how to get here I distracted myself with gadgets and bananas and maths so I wouldn’t have to think about what I’d find when I succeeded.” He stood and slipped his hands into his pockets. “Also, I really wanted to snog your sister.”
Reggie mimed sticking his finger down his throat, gagging.
“Charming,” Rose said, and curled her hand over the Doctor’s shoulder, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. He turned into her, smiling, and her lips found the corner of his mouth.
“Geez,” Reggie said. “You guys are almost as bad as Mickey and Jake.”
Rose went still, eyes wide with disbelief. “Mickey and Jake were-”
“I walked in on them snogging in the laundry room before dinner.” Reggie’s face scrunched up a little at the memory. “I don’t think they’re mad at each other anymore.”
The Doctor’s hand settled low on Rose’s back. “Is this universe always this exciting, or is it only when I’m around?”
“Let me put it this way,” Rose said. “I’m a lot better at Sudoku than I used to be.”
Reggie let his head fall back against the armchair with a thump. “I’m bored. Can we go see the rest of the TARDIS now?”
“Absolutely not,” Rose said, just as the Doctor said, “We could start with the arboretum, if you like.” Their eyes locked - Rose glaring, the Doctor looking rather nervous.
“Reggie,” Rose said, still glaring, “aren’t you hungry? We were supposed to have dinner ages ago.”
Reggie snorted. “Are you kidding? It’s Mum’s night to cook; Dad snuck me a sandwich after I got home from school.”
“He did what?” Jackie thundered, stomping up the ramp to the console room in a storm of velour and sweet-smelling perfume. “Reginald Prentice Tyler, when I say ‘stay in the house or I’ll set all your video games on fire,’ I mean ‘stay in the house or I’ll-’” She paused, looking around the TARDIS. “What the hell happened in here?”
The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “Well, hello to you too, Jackie.”
“Oh, come here, you great alien git,” Jackie said, and threw her arms around him in a crushing hug. The Doctor squeaked, and one pinstripe-clad arm flailed back and forth, as if calling for help.
“This is absolutely nothing like I imagined it,” Pete said from the door, staring up at the vaulted ceiling, his face bathed green in the glow of the time rotor.
Mickey followed him through the door and clapped him on the shoulder. “It’s better, yeah?”
“Food coming through,” Jake said, his arms full of takeaway bags. He slipped past Pete and Mickey and carried the bags up to Rose. “There was an incident with the roast, so we’ve got Chinese. Is there a table in here somewhere?”
“The console will do,” Rose said, and helped him unpack carton after carton, narrowly avoiding the levers and more ominous looking buttons. The smell of kung pao chicken filled the TARDIS.
“Dibs on the egg rolls,” Reggie said, darting out of the armchair and grabbing a carton. Mickey wrapped an arm around his waist and lifted him into the air.
“I don’t think so, pipsqueak,” Mickey said. When he snatched the carton from Reggie’s hand, the boy tried to bite him. “Oi!”
Pete and Jackie were bickering about something - Rose heard the words pot roast and fire extinguisher and bloody disgusting banana bread - and Jake had been pulled into the battle over the egg rolls, trying to keep Mickey from getting chewed on and Reggie from getting dropped head first onto the floor. Rose and the Doctor stood back from the chaos, watching.
“It’s okay if this is too much for you,” Rose said quietly. “I’d understand.”
The Doctor took her hand, fingers fitting smoothly into hers. “No,” he said with a smile. “It’ll be an adventure.”
It was.
++
A few months later Reggie looked up from his bowl of cereal. “Oh! I get it now.”
Jackie closed the refrigerator door. “Get what, love?”
“A banana is funny because it’s shaped like a penis.” He sat back in his chair, shaking his head. “The Doctor is weird.”
The End.