oh look i'm 19
i keep on getting older and i don't even know what i'm doing besides the obvious. going to school, having friends/boyfriend. i have so much motivaton. and all these fucking goals...and i don't know what for. i know what i want to do with my life. but what about all the shit inbetween? people always tell me that i am good at balancing my school work, and that i'm able to resist temptations to keep my life in order. but in reality, thats about the only part of me that's in order. i'm out of fucking control! my mind is spinning in every direction at all times. if i didn't keep tangible things in order, god knows. seriously. because i know what i'm capable of. i know what happens when i get into my head. it's all so repetitive and just goes on and on and on. just like this stupid entry. because i don't know how to explain this to sane people. SO I GUESS YOU LUCK OUT.