Staring through the broken mirror at the reflection that never was there...
I feel like I need to write something, but what is there to say? The clouds in my head are nothing but storms that have been brewing as they await the time when they will unleash on me the damage that they have prepared to inflict.
I have been sitting here for over an hour, staring blankly, my head full of thoughts and memories and emotions, and my mind empty, not knowing how to deal with the void. My sleep is restless, as insomnia plagues me without mercy. It is only satisfied when my body succumbs in exhaustion and drifts off to the nightmares that are ever so ready to unleash their torment. Last night I tried to sleep, thinking rest would do some good for me, or at least offer me an escape. I couldn't sleep, so I ended up at the Mont a little after midnight and stayed there drinking and smoking until they closed. I went back to my apartment and tried to go to sleep, but I just tossed and turned until I finally passed out from exhaustion, or was it from being plastered? Either way, I passed out only to wake up a short time later from some horrible nightmare. For the rest of the night I would pass out and shortly wake up again, until finally I was able to pass out and get about 2 hours of dead sleep.
There is so much more that I wish that I could express, things that I wish I could say, questions that I wish I could ask, and answers that I wish I could have; but for all of these I don't... I can't... I won't...
I have been sitting here for over an hour, staring blankly, my head full of thoughts and memories and emotions, and my mind empty, not knowing how to deal with the void. My sleep is restless, as insomnia plagues me without mercy. It is only satisfied when my body succumbs in exhaustion and drifts off to the nightmares that are ever so ready to unleash their torment. Last night I tried to sleep, thinking rest would do some good for me, or at least offer me an escape. I couldn't sleep, so I ended up at the Mont a little after midnight and stayed there drinking and smoking until they closed. I went back to my apartment and tried to go to sleep, but I just tossed and turned until I finally passed out from exhaustion, or was it from being plastered? Either way, I passed out only to wake up a short time later from some horrible nightmare. For the rest of the night I would pass out and shortly wake up again, until finally I was able to pass out and get about 2 hours of dead sleep.
There is so much more that I wish that I could express, things that I wish I could say, questions that I wish I could ask, and answers that I wish I could have; but for all of these I don't... I can't... I won't...