[Uraboku] Bruises and Bitemarks (5/?)
Title: Bruises and Bitemarks
Author: masanami
Character(s): Hotsuma/Shusei, mentions of Senshirou/Kuroto, Tsukumo/Touko, Takashiro, Tachibana
Word Count: 6,282
Rating: R
Warnings: Host AU. Suggestive material.
Summary: Shusei's the perfect host and Hotsuma's the perfect person to ruin everything for him.
Author's Note: Honestly, this is probably my favorite chapter so far. Not that easy to write but I was happy with the outcome^^
The night is early when Kuroto Hourai steps into the streets outside of the New World bar.
The area surrounding the bar is already beginning to fill with men and women as they make their way towards the bars and the restaurants, hoping to catch any early table or a cheap drink before the hordes of people make walking along the sidewalks almost impossible. Streetlights illuminate the sidewalks and cars honk noisily in the distance, just outside of sight from the pedestrian only street side area where the club is located.
It’s in moments like these-when he’s watching all the people walk aimlessly around these lie-infected streets-that Kuroto remembers why he makes it a point not to get involved with others.
He’s always been the type to watch from the sidelines rather than allow himself to become entangled in another person’s mess. Human emotions, interactions, feelings-they were all so convoluted and trifling.
He wasn’t like Shusei, he couldn’t naturally predict another person’s emotions or understand just what needed to be said in order for the women that come into these bars to find happiness. He wasn’t like Senshirou either; not able to easily gravitate others toward him with a warm and welcoming personality. For people like Shusei and Senshirou, though so different in personalities, it came effortlessly, while Kuroto struggled. Perhaps that was why he was constantly summoned for outdoors duty-having to muck through rain or nightfall on the streets outside New World in order to hustle new women into the bar.
It was one of the worst jobs in the club but it was something he could do. He could do anything to get himself through this for the next few years until staying at this bottomless pit of a job was no longer necessary.
You could leave…I would take care of you.
Senshirou’s words come to Kuroto’s mind that night, just like every night, when he stands outside the bar and wonders why he continues to do this again and again. He’s not particularly fond of the other man but he likes him well enough-but still not quite enough to let him take care of him like he’s some pet or bought object.
But still…sometimes it was a nice thought to entertain.
He’d be lying if he said Senshirou meant nothing to him but Kuroto knew he wasn’t ready to accept whatever he did see Senshirou as. For right now things could just remain the way they were or Senshirou could leave-and that would be the end of it.
I wish you’d see just how much I care about you, Kuroto.
He closes his eyes as he recalls the soft cadence of Senshirou’s voice. The older man is ringing his fingers through his ebony hair and trailing fingertips down the spine of his bare back as they lay tangled in the sheets together. Kuroto remembered huffing at Senshirou’s words, but even in his annoyance Kuroto couldn’t deny the quiet pounding in his chest.
Sighing softly, Kuroto brushed his long bangs from in front of his eyes and looked out into the night sky. It’s still early and there are still many hours before him where he’ll be standing out here in the chilly evening sky. Throughout the crowds of people he glances absently at the women, discerning with a quick glance just who would be worth stopping. He can spot the desperate or lonely ones right away, they’re the easiest and the ones that come with him with the least effort.
“Good evening, Kuroto.”
He blinks and looks up toward the sound of his name. Stepping across the walkway is Shusei Usui. He is dressed to perfection as always; every strand of hair in perfect arrangement, suit tailored and snug, every accessory a compliment. Even though it’s been months that he’s worked along side Shusei, it still can take Kuroto by surprise when he sees the other man. For the longest time Shusei had been so distant that it seemed as if no one really knew who he was. Only Senshirou, someone who had been a host when Shusei had only just begun working at New World, seemed to know anything about the enigma of a man-and even then Senshirou was strangely quiet about Shusei and his past.
Yet still-still this man who was inwardly turned and cold on the exterior knew how to warm the hearts of any woman he met. It was like there was a switch he could turn on at any moment and within that second he could draw any person into his charming smile and soft embrace. The Shusei that he knew around clients and the Shusei he saw all the other times were two completely different people.
But, lately, Kuroto could discern a change.
This time as Shusei approaches him the other man isn’t wearing a downcast or straight lipped expression, or no expression at all-keeping it all hidden tightly behind whatever mask he’s chosen to wear for whatever reason-but now there’s actually the hint of a small smile wearing the corners of his lips. This isn’t the first night that Kuroto has seen that new expression upon Shusei’s visage. It didn’t take him long to realize that Shusei only wore that expression on the days when he saw Hotsuma. By now everyone who worked at the New World knew about Hotsuma Renjou and Shusei Usui’s relationship even if Shusei never said anything publicly about it. Even Kuroto was baffled that a man like Hotsuma had managed to bring out this side in Shusei that no one could remember seeing. It wasn’t a big change, it was only something small and subtle but that tiny change was enough to make all the difference.
Shusei wasn’t the same person he had been a few weeks ago.
Kuroto sighed as he gave Shusei a slight nod and greeting before the other man walked into the building. He leaned against the wall of the bar’s exterior, hands crossing over his chest, and bangs falling forward to make a veil over his eyes. Seeing Shusei like that-such a tiny but significant change-made him wonder if he could change as well with someone like Senshirou.
Maybe he was foolish for continuing to live this unsatisfying life when someone who cared about him wanted to take him away from it all.
Maybe one day he’d learn to stop being so foolish and just enjoy the things he had been blessed with. Because, just like with Shusei, those happy moments could disappear just as quickly as they were formed.
It was best to enjoy them while they lasted.
++++
Shusei stared at his reflection in the mirror.
He’s alone but he can hear the sounds of the other hosts in the adjacent rooms preparing for the night. They move around the tables, set out glasses, make sure every seat is perfectly positioned. Shusei still remembers the days he had spent doing the same task night after night. It was all about finding the exact place to sit amongst a table of women where attention could be equally divided but where they would still vive for a closer position, the nearer proximity to the thing they wanted.
When he had first begun working as a host, chair positioning had been a special trick of his own. Flirt with the one sitting the closest, draw out the ones that were further out, change seats casually when getting up to get drinks or when playing games with the group. It was really rather easily when thought out correctly-and seemingly without any effort at all the one furthest away would buy a drink with a private room after growing tired of the games and wanting to claim him as the victor.
It worked every single time.
Shusei crosses his arms over his chest and takes a deep breath. His brow furrowed at the slight noise that drifted from the area behind him, pulling him from the thoughts of the past.
"What is it Tachibana?"
"How do you always manage to do that?"
Shusei opened his eyes and watched Tachibana in the reflection of the mirror. He’s wearing another one of his ridiculously bright outfits with a large yellow bowtie and oversized fuchsia hat that hangs low on his brow.
"Do what?"
"It's like you have eyes in the back of your head."
"You're just loud."
"Ah, that one really hurt Shu-kun. Shouldn't you be nicer to the person you work for?"
"I need to finish getting ready."
"Before you do the boss wants to see you."
Shusei blinked and turned around to look at Tachibana. The other man leaned against the entranceway of the door and crossed his arms over his chest. "Now?"
"He's waiting upstairs in his office."
Shusei’s eyes narrow. “Is it bad?”
Tachibana shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, Shu-kun, you’ll have to find that one out for yourself.”
Shusei looked at the corridor behind Tachibana, to the area in the back and the stairs that led toward an upstairs office. Rarely did anyone go up there and never without an invitation.
And an invitation was rarely a good thing.
The single flight of stairs to Takashiro’s office is narrow. Walking up the steep incline feels suffocating. The office itself is above the main floor where the hosts work and Shusei knows from previous visits to the office that it boosts a rather spectacular view of the main street of Kabuchiko. A person could see the entirety of the red light district from Takashiro’s viewpoint.
When Shusei reaches the top of the stairs it’s only a short walk down a hallway to reach Takashiro’s office. The door’s closed when he gets to the top of the stairs but he can see light seeping in through the cracks in the door. He hesitates for a moment, wanting to lean an ear against the sturdy frame and just hear if Takashiro is really waiting there for him-as if even the sound of Takashiro’s sigh will be enough to fill the whole presence of the office and the world and not just the thudding place that's squeezing around his heart.
He knows it’s only natural to be nervous.
The music from downstairs meanders up from the ground and seethes in the air around Shusei’s ears. It pounds, it bullies, it makes everything that much more difficult to concentrate on. He remembers the way Hotsuma’s hand wound around his fingers, the warmth of his touch, the taste of his lips, the pounding of his heart-he held onto all these thoughts before daring to step through that door. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew it was only a matter of time before this summoning occurred though he never anticipated that it would be this soon.
He pushes open the door to Takashiro’s office and steps inside.
The room is always smaller than he remembers. It’s a large wooden desk against a large window and papers that fill the cabinets and high shelves-binders, books, ledgers-everything it takes to run an operation of this size and scale in a city that chokes itself on rules and regulations-especially in a place such as Kabuchiko. Takashiro is there just as he anticipates but he can’t hear his sigh or even the rush of air that leaves Takashiro’s chest when the other man sighs and waves him forward upon hearing him enter. He’s busy typing on the computer screen in front of him, the light of the illuminated screen casting pale shadows upon his furrowed brow.
Shusei steps inside and sits down at the single chair before the desk. He doesn’t say anything-just sits and crosses his leg and rests his hand on his knee and waits.
Finally Takashiro stopped strumming on the keyboard and looked up at him. His hair was let down tonight and it’s cascading over his shoulders in long thick strands that frame the harsh curves of his face and the jagged lines of scar that Shusei doesn’t know the origin of. The glasses are gone as well, abandoned along with his suit’s jacket across the small couch that’s sitting flush against the wall-sandwiched between two shelves and a file cabinet.
“I don’t have to explain, do I?”
Takashiro’s gaze meets his from across the desk and Shusei holds it-holds it until it overwhelms him and he has to look away. He doesn’t say anything because there’s nothing to say.
The sound of Takashiro’s long sigh fills the silence between them. “Don’t set yourself down this path, Shusei. I can’t protect you if you do this.” Takashiro leans back against the plush leather chair, palms coming to rest in his lap. “I’m warning you. Got it?”
“This won’t be an issue.” Shusei looked upward. "I have it under control, Takashiro."
“Are you sure about that?” Takashiro watches him and a frown draws a line on his lips. “I should have stopped this before it progressed any further.” He seems to say the words to himself more than the younger man sitting before him. “If you want to have a relationship you shouldn’t do it in this club. I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Senshirou when he wanted to get engaged to one of his clients: relationships and this place don’t work. You know perfectly well what happened to that relationship. You saw the consequences of Senshirou’s actions with your own eyes.”
Shusei remembers Tsubaki clearly; she was loud, forward, and abrasive. She was the exact type of woman that one would never expect to find in a host bar-a woman that openly stated her distaste for men and the way they acted toward women-yet still she was a regular that came merely for Senshirou and no one else. She became one of Senshirou’s long time clients in no time at all-and they spent hours together both inside and outside of the bar until the lines between host and client became indistinguishable.
But Shusei also knows these feelings he’s carrying around in his chest aren’t the same as the one’s Senshirou held for Tsubaki.
“This isn’t love. This is a job. The same thing won’t happen.”
Takashiro seemed to regard him for a long moment. Finally, he nodded his head. “Fine.” He leaned forward until his elbows were leaning on the table. “Just remember that if you screw this up I won’t hesitate to remove you just like Senshirou. I made a top host out of him and you, I could do the same with another person.” He paused. “You’re not irreplaceable, Shusei.”
He let his last words hang in the silence between them before dismissing Shusei.
++++
It’s pitch black outside by the time Shusei leaves the bar.
Most of the city is covered in a backdrop of dim lights but Kabuchiko is still thriving. The streets are still full with dwindling groups even well after midnight. Shusei makes his way past those bumbling down the sidewalks in a drunken haze, some so wasted that they just lay down against a wall to sleep it off. This scene has become such a second nature that he doesn’t even glance at the bodies that litter the streets or the drunken banter that reaches his ears. This is his world and he’s used to it so nothing shocks him anymore.
Besides, he has more important things on his mind.
Takashiro’s warning keeps playing in the back of his head, the warning in the other man’s words having been perfectly clear. It was true that he was replaceable. He had replaced Senshirou and so could he too be replaced by another man. Some might argue that he had always been a better host than Senshirou but Shusei knew better than to think like that-everything in this world was held in a tremulous balance.
Shusei sighs and stops at the corner of a crosswalk. Cars meander by him and he shoves in his hands into his pockets and thinks of Hotsuma. Thinking about the other man both calms and sends his thoughts into a frenzy-because the moment the other man enters his mind he’s overwhelmed with thoughts of wanting to be next to him and protect him from this dark world that he lives in. He’s terrified that his darkness could extinguish the light that he sees in Hotsuma.
It’s then that Shusei decides he needs to see him, even if only a glance of the building that he sleeps in.
It’s too late for the trains to still be running so he catches a cab to Hotsuma’s apartment. The entire way there he can’t help but stare out the window and think about Takashiro’s words and try to unravel some way out of them. Before he’s barely even left the red light district his mind is a muddled mess of thoughts and possibilities.
The cab takes him in front of the apartments where Hotsuma lives together with Tsukumo. The street is off of the main roads and several minutes away from the closest train station so it’s quiet and dark at this time of night. The only lights emitting from the area are from blinking street lamps. All the apartments and houses that surround him look dark and distant. The difference between this place and the one he had just been in is so obviously different.
When he gets out of the cab he doubts himself. He lets himself wonder for a moment whether he’s made a mistake in coming here. But he can’t get himself to leave the sidewalk beside the building and he’s not sure how long he’s just stood there outside but he does begin to get cold and it’s a long walk back to a main road where he would be able to catch another cab. He thinks maybe the walk would be good for him but he knows he wants to see Hotsuma more than he wants to go home.
Shusei made his way to Hotsuma’s apartment and knocked.
The pause only lasts for a second because Hotsuma opens the door a moment later. The man before him doesn’t look tired despite the late hour but he does look surprised to see Shusei at his doorstep.
“What’s wrong, Shusei?” He holds the door open further and the light from the apartment seeps into the hallway. Shusei can discern the slight concern in Hotsuma’s expression-after all, in all the time since they had first met it’s never been Shusei who prompts the first move. It’s always been Hotsuma-the one who meets him, the one who drops by New World, the one who invites him over to his apartment in the middle of the night. Shusei has always been the instigator who gives Hotsuma the push to do what he wants.
“I wanted to see you,” Shusei says, his voice a soft whisper.
The slight change in Hotsuma’s expression shows he’s satisfied with that answer-maybe even feeling a little boastful that Shusei’s finally taken the step to make an initiative for once. He’s not put off by the late hour or the unexpected intrusion-he actually seems happy to see him. Hotsuma opens the door a little further and Shusei steps inside. A quick glance around the open living room tells him that Tsukumo either isn’t home or is sleeping because the room is quiet and dark except for the small burst of light emitting from Hotsuma’s partially opened bedroom door.
“Tsukumo’s staying the night at Touko’s place.” Hotsuma explained, reading his expression.
“Ah.” He follows Hotsuma back toward his bedroom. He peels off his jacket from work and lays it down gently on the desk as Hotsuma sits heavily on the bed. He watches as Hotsuma draws up a single knee to his chest, the other dangling just above the ground. His golden eyes are following Shusei’s every move.
Shusei crossed the distance between them easily enough. Hotsuma is still looking up toward him as he stands right before the other man. He reaches down a hand and gently brushes the golden strands of hair away from Hotsuma’s face.
“You wanted to see me, huh?” Hotsuma murmurs under his breath, closing his eyes, enjoying the feel of Shusei’s cool touch.
“Yeah.” Shusei says but the word is merely a whisper off his lips, barely perceptible.
Hotsuma eyes open slowly and Shusei looks down into them for only a moment before Hotsuma’s arms wrap around his waist and he’s pulled into the other man’s embrace. Those long and warm limbs clasp around him, Hotsuma’s head buried in his abdomen so that Shusei can feel the pressure of Hotsuma’s nose as he nuzzles his midsection.
He can feel one of Hotsuma’s arms let go of his waist as the fingers find the hem on his shirt and slowly lift. The small burst of cool air makes him inhale but soon he’s covered in the warmth of Hotsuma’s lips on the curves of his hip.
Shusei closes his eyes.
“Shusei.” He hears his name on Hotsuma’s husky voice. “Come here.”
Shusei knows how to compile. He moves into the space that Hotsuma provides, straddling his lap until their faces are inches apart. He finds Hotsuma’s lips and presses softly. The other man reacts by running his fingers through his hair and deepening their kiss when Shusei’s mouth opens for the entrance of Hotsuma’s moist tongue. He sucks lightly, earning a soft grumble of approval from the back of Hotsuma’s throat.
He loses track of the time. He just thinks about the warmth radiating off Hotsuma’s body and how it seems to warm the very corner of his soul; the way Hotsuma’s mouth tastes, the reassurance of Hotsuma’s arms tangled around his body. He isn’t sure how much time passes when he finally pushes away. Hotsuma stares at him with heavy, dozy eyes and he knows without a doubt that tonight-for the first night-Hotsuma isn’t going to be content with just this.
He forces his shaky legs to stand on the ground before Hotsuma.
“Shusei…” Hotsuma’s voice is questioning, cautious.
“It’s okay.” He affirms as he reaches up a hand to his shirt and slowly starts to unbutton it. He looked down toward where Hotsuma sat, hair falling in front of his face until his eyes were nearly invisible behind the veil of brown strands. “I want to do this together with you.” He reached out a hand, gently cupping the side of Hotsuma’s face. “Help me undress, Hotsuma.”
There were no arguments from the younger man. This time Hotsuma stood and gingerly traced his lips on the exposed skin of Shusei’s chest. The flesh was soft and warm, delicate against the brush of Hotsuma’s moist lips. Shusei closed his eyes as Hotsuma’s fingers found the seams of his shirt and slowly undid the last of the buttons that remained.
The exposure of his skin made Shusei shiver until Hotsuma’s arms drew around him and pulled him against his chest. He felt the gentle pressure of Hotsuma’s lips on the top of his head, the other man’s fingers running through the strands to soothe him before slowly sliding the shirt from his shoulders and letting it land on the ground at their feet.
Hotsuma’s hands explored the exposed flesh with trepidation. Shusei’s eyes reflexively closed as he laid back against the mattress and let Hotsuma hover over him. He felt Hotsuma’s hands trace a line down from his chest to his abdomen, causing him to involuntary suck in a breath.
“You’re so skinny,” Hotsuma murmured against the soft flesh of his abdomen as he leaned down to lick at Shusei’s navel, his large hands finding a place to rest on the curve of Shusei’s hips.
“Hmm…” Shusei heard his voice murmur inaudibly.
He heard the sound of Hotsuma pulling his own shirt over his head and discarding it on the floor. He thought Hotsuma looked breathtakingly beautiful. He’s muscular and strong, even covered in a few strange-shaped scars that could have come from any brawl. There is nothing fragile about Hotsuma. He is nothing like Shusei himself.
Those muscular arms circle around him and wrap him in warmth. Hotsuma’s leaning over him and there’s a hazy lust in his eyes different from the type he’s seen in the past. This isn’t just the need to satiate an appetite, this is something else entirely. Shusei can’t pinpoint what it is that he sees in Hotsuma’s eyes and he’s not sure if it even really matters. He’s already decided on this path and this course that he’s taken with Hotsuma and nothing that the other man could say or do would change the way he felt now. He would remain by Hotsuma’s side as long as the other man would let him.
“I care about you, Shusei.”
Shusei looks up at him and smiles softly. “You…really are amazing, Hotsuma.”
The rest of their clothes effortlessly made their way to the floor.
++++
Shusei doesn’t want to wake up from this.
Hotsuma’s arms are tangled around him and he’s warm from the heat of Hotsuma’s body pressed against his bare back. The other man is snoring lightly and Shusei can feel the tingle of his breath on the top of his head.
He feels comfortable like this. Safe. It’s a strange and foreign feeling after living on his own for so long…but he takes a moment and lets himself take it in and experience it.
There is no telling if he’ll ever have another chance to feel this way again.
It’s cold when he shrugs off Hotsuma’s embrace. The apartment is quiet accept for the sound of Hotsuma breathing and the slight noise the bed makes when Shusei slides away from Hotsuma. When he finally gets up he’s surprised at the sores in his muscles and legs but manages to move slowly toward where he discarded his clothes only a few hours ago. He dresses quietly as the sun begins to seep in through the blinds of the curtains. He watches Hotsuma sleeping so comfortably, so peacefully oblivious to everything in his slumber.
For a moment he has to lean against the wall to steady himself. He places a hand on his heart, sure that he would be able to feel the rapid beating through his skin, muscles, and bone.
He didn’t know it could hurt like this.
A small part of him had come here to say goodbye to Hotsuma. A part of him knew the best thing to do would be to leave-to not drag Hotsuma any further into his world, into his darkness-but he can’t.
He’s selfish.
He doesn’t want to be alone anymore, doesn’t want to live in a life faded in darkness without Hotsuma’s light to guide his way. He could have tried to love Hotsuma from afar, to let him go but keep his memory in his heart to remember but after tonight Shusei knows that’s impossible.
He can’t tell Hotsuma these things that he’s struggling with because he knows Hotsuma is too innocent to understand. There’s no way someone bathed in such purity and love and light could understand a dark and selfish thing like himself.
Shusei glances back toward the window and forces himself to stand up straight again. He closes the partially opened curtains until the entire room is bathed in darkness in again. He moves across the small room until he’s before Hotsuma’s bed and undresses once again-crawling back into Hotsuma’s arms and staying there until sleep finally claims him.
++++
Hotsuma’s taking Shusei to dinner.
It’s been a week since the last night when Shusei came to Hotsuma in the middle of the night and it’s the first time they’ve seen each other since. Hotsuma’s been forced into studying for midterms by Tsukumo and Shusei’s been picking up extra hours at New World-and for the first time in a week Shusei’s been able to accept Hotsuma’s request for a celebration dinner with Touko and Tsukumo for the end of midterm exams.
Shusei makes sure to pick his clothes carefully this time-nothing showy or particularly stylish-just jeans, t-shirt, and a hooded leather jacket. Today he won’t be Shusei Usui, the number one host of the New World host bar-today he’s just Shusei.
The train station near his apartment isn’t particularly crowded and he’s grateful when the train that will take him to Hotsuma’s apartment pulls up and is essentially vacant despite the still early hour of the night. He finds a seat among the long row of empty spots and closes his eyes as he feels the train rocking to a start and the soft hum of it speeding down underground tunnels.
The train pulls to a stop at the next station and Shusei’s ears pick up the sound of the train’s doors opening. He hears the shuffle of feet as several people enter and the murmur of animated conversation when the voices come to a sudden and striking halt.
“Well look who it is…”
Shusei’s eyes snapped open at the familiar voice. He looked toward the source, a feeling torn between annoyance and dread filling him at the sight of Jekyll and Hyde entering the train. They weren’t alone either. A small, almost child-like girl entered with them, dressed in gothic lolita clothes of black and purple frills.
Gritting his teeth, Shusei stood to leave the train before the doors closed, not wanting to risk an altercation after just being warned by Takashiro only a week ago to watch his actions. Hyde stepped in front of him before he made it to the door, leather-gloved fingers finding their way around the front of his jacket. “Want to leave?” The man grinned out of one corner of his mouth. “We can make that happen.”
Jekyll shoved him from behind while Hyde pulled him by the collar of his jacket off the train. The small girl with them let out a frightening giggle.
“Who is this beautiful man? I want him.” She clutched a small, almost doll-like purse in her hands and grinned with lips spread too thickly with hot pink lipstick.
“Quiet, Ashley, this one is ours to deal with.”
The girl sighed. “Another person you have a grudge against?” She smiled sweetly, showing a set of pearly white teeth, batting eyelashes weighed down with heavy layers of mascara.. “Just let me have a little bit of fun too, won’t you?”
“Back off Ashley.” This time it’s Jekyll snapping at the girl. “Just sit down over there and watch for anyone coming.” He points toward a bench against the wall. Ashley doesn’t go right away-she huffs and pouts and eventually storms off in a rage but she leaves nonetheless and the feeling spreading through Shusei is getting worse and worse.
He looks around but there’s no one else in sight and he’s smart enough to know that he has no chance of taking down two men their size. He knows his best chance is to run the moment he sees an opening-but Hyde seems to have thought of just that and grips onto him a little bit tighter.
“Don’t be getting any ideas, pretty boy.”
Shusei feels Jekyll’s arm reach across his shoulder until he is pinned against the man’s shoulder. “C’mon Mr. Number-One-Host, we’ve got a few words to share with ya.”
He’s led down one of the corridors of the train station. It’s a dark, unlit area with the only light illuminating it coming from the far away subway exits. The area is closed for renovations but Jekyll and Hyde pay the warning signs no heed as they usher him further into the stomach of the abandoned train station corridor. Finally the twins seem to think they’ve gone far enough and release him.
The tiled floor feels rough even through his jeans when he’s abruptly pushed to the ground.
He can feel the firm pressure of hands on his shoulders, an arm snaking around him and applying too much pressure around his neck to be comfortable. Shusei has to gulp back the bile that builds in his throat at the gruff grip of this man on his skin. He uses his arm to shove Jekyll away and move his back against the wall so the two can’t get between him.
“Don’t touch me.” He spat out.
“Ahaha, he speaks, Hyde!” Jekyll snarls, unfazed. “I was wondering when he’d open that pretty little mouth of his and give us a show.”
“Dirty more than pretty. Can’t even begin to imagine what’s been down there.” Hyde added. “He even does guys these days.”
Shusei's fingers balled into fists at his side.
Hyde grinned. “Hey Jekyll, I bet he’d even do you.”
“Ah? Ya think so?” Jekyll’s eyes narrow as he looks at Shusei. “How much, eh, Shusei? How much do you charge?”
Shusei’s eyes narrowed and his lips set into a straight line. He can feel his fingernails digging into the soft flesh of his palm.
Jekyll crosses the distance between them until he’s nearly on top of Shusei. He can smell the stench of his breath, the moist and dirty heat of his words as he leans near Shusei’s ear to whisper. “I’ll make you regret those words you said before you little-“
He never got a chance to finish hearing the sentence because the next moment Shusei’s pushing himself off the wall and making a run for the exit-but then he’s not. He’s doubled over against the wall, slumping down the wall with his breath gone and his stomach aching from where he’s been hit. He isn’t even given a moment to think about taking a lung full of oxygen when a fist connects with his face and he hits the ground face first. He tastes blood and dirt and gravel-and all he can feel is the kick at his side and the pang of his head banging against the side of the ground-and he barely manages to tuck his body inward to protect himself before he feels his vision hazing in and out.
Jekyll slams his boot into his back causing Shusei to cough out in pain. The heel of his shoe digs in and Shusei grits his teeth as he feels his eyes tearing up.
"Thinking you're better than everyone else...this'll teach ya to be so high and mighty in the future."
Fingers dig into his hair, scrapping the top of his scalp and pulling until he was forced to look up-but he couldn't see anything because his vision was blotched with blood and spots of darkness.
"Look at me when we're talking to ya."
He doesn't know who's speaking anymore but he feels fingers lace under his jaw and jerk his head in a painful direction.
"Pathetic." His jaw is roughly released. "Let's get out of here, Hyde."
He didn’t know how long he remained like that on the floor of the subway station and just how long he was able to hold on to consciousness but at some point in time it stopped and it felt as if he were trying to keep himself awake when all he wanted to do was fall into a chasm of a deep sleep.
Shusei didn’t get up.
He vaguely recalled the sound of voices speaking to him, of his body being pushed over onto his back by a foot-but nothing was clear and nothing made sense. Eventually the sounds seemed to dissipate-it must have been the echo of Jekyll and Hyde’s footsteps fading into the distance-but still, Shusei lay there on the ground unmoving.
Shusei stared up at the ceiling for so long that he lost track of all time. He just waited, trying to keep himself awake, forcing his eyes to focus. Eventually he managed to roll himself onto his back and push himself into a sitting position against the wall. He looked down at the space between his legs, bangs falling forward and covering the sides of his face until they drifted into his field of vision. He didn’t need to touch his head to know the soft strands were matted in blood, clinging to the side of his face where it was drying. His lip was tender, tasting faintly of metallic when his tongue gingerly swept across it.
He sighed.
Jekyll and Hyde had always been harmless annoyances in the past. They tagged along with Reiga, acted gruff but they had always been more bark than bite. But now something must have changed to make them more active. Without a doubt Shusei knew this had to do with Takashiro. But Reiga and Takashiro’s relationship had always been shadowed in unknown, which meant there was no telling what this could lead to.
The only thing Shusei felt sure about was that there would only be trouble ahead-and he needed to be even more careful. He needed to protect Hotsuma. Takashiro’s warnings were not something to take lightly.
His fingers dug into the pocket of his jacket until they encircled around his phone. There was a text message waiting for him from Hotsuma.
Where are you?
He knows letting Hotsuma find out about this will only make things more difficult.
I can’t meet with you tonight.
It’s only seconds after he hits the send button that he can hear his phone ringing. It’s Hotsuma.
His eyes close as he answers the phone.
“Yes?”
“Why?”
“Something’s come up. I’ll see you another time.”
A pause. “Shusei?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re alright, aren’t you?”
“Of course.” He lied. “I have to go now, Hotsuma.”
“Okay…”
Shusei hung up the phone, letting it slip inbetween his fingers until it clanked to the ground. He wasn’t ready to stand up yet so he just sat there and buried his face into his hands.
Author: masanami
Character(s): Hotsuma/Shusei, mentions of Senshirou/Kuroto, Tsukumo/Touko, Takashiro, Tachibana
Word Count: 6,282
Rating: R
Warnings: Host AU. Suggestive material.
Summary: Shusei's the perfect host and Hotsuma's the perfect person to ruin everything for him.
Author's Note: Honestly, this is probably my favorite chapter so far. Not that easy to write but I was happy with the outcome^^
The night is early when Kuroto Hourai steps into the streets outside of the New World bar.
The area surrounding the bar is already beginning to fill with men and women as they make their way towards the bars and the restaurants, hoping to catch any early table or a cheap drink before the hordes of people make walking along the sidewalks almost impossible. Streetlights illuminate the sidewalks and cars honk noisily in the distance, just outside of sight from the pedestrian only street side area where the club is located.
It’s in moments like these-when he’s watching all the people walk aimlessly around these lie-infected streets-that Kuroto remembers why he makes it a point not to get involved with others.
He’s always been the type to watch from the sidelines rather than allow himself to become entangled in another person’s mess. Human emotions, interactions, feelings-they were all so convoluted and trifling.
He wasn’t like Shusei, he couldn’t naturally predict another person’s emotions or understand just what needed to be said in order for the women that come into these bars to find happiness. He wasn’t like Senshirou either; not able to easily gravitate others toward him with a warm and welcoming personality. For people like Shusei and Senshirou, though so different in personalities, it came effortlessly, while Kuroto struggled. Perhaps that was why he was constantly summoned for outdoors duty-having to muck through rain or nightfall on the streets outside New World in order to hustle new women into the bar.
It was one of the worst jobs in the club but it was something he could do. He could do anything to get himself through this for the next few years until staying at this bottomless pit of a job was no longer necessary.
You could leave…I would take care of you.
Senshirou’s words come to Kuroto’s mind that night, just like every night, when he stands outside the bar and wonders why he continues to do this again and again. He’s not particularly fond of the other man but he likes him well enough-but still not quite enough to let him take care of him like he’s some pet or bought object.
But still…sometimes it was a nice thought to entertain.
He’d be lying if he said Senshirou meant nothing to him but Kuroto knew he wasn’t ready to accept whatever he did see Senshirou as. For right now things could just remain the way they were or Senshirou could leave-and that would be the end of it.
I wish you’d see just how much I care about you, Kuroto.
He closes his eyes as he recalls the soft cadence of Senshirou’s voice. The older man is ringing his fingers through his ebony hair and trailing fingertips down the spine of his bare back as they lay tangled in the sheets together. Kuroto remembered huffing at Senshirou’s words, but even in his annoyance Kuroto couldn’t deny the quiet pounding in his chest.
Sighing softly, Kuroto brushed his long bangs from in front of his eyes and looked out into the night sky. It’s still early and there are still many hours before him where he’ll be standing out here in the chilly evening sky. Throughout the crowds of people he glances absently at the women, discerning with a quick glance just who would be worth stopping. He can spot the desperate or lonely ones right away, they’re the easiest and the ones that come with him with the least effort.
“Good evening, Kuroto.”
He blinks and looks up toward the sound of his name. Stepping across the walkway is Shusei Usui. He is dressed to perfection as always; every strand of hair in perfect arrangement, suit tailored and snug, every accessory a compliment. Even though it’s been months that he’s worked along side Shusei, it still can take Kuroto by surprise when he sees the other man. For the longest time Shusei had been so distant that it seemed as if no one really knew who he was. Only Senshirou, someone who had been a host when Shusei had only just begun working at New World, seemed to know anything about the enigma of a man-and even then Senshirou was strangely quiet about Shusei and his past.
Yet still-still this man who was inwardly turned and cold on the exterior knew how to warm the hearts of any woman he met. It was like there was a switch he could turn on at any moment and within that second he could draw any person into his charming smile and soft embrace. The Shusei that he knew around clients and the Shusei he saw all the other times were two completely different people.
But, lately, Kuroto could discern a change.
This time as Shusei approaches him the other man isn’t wearing a downcast or straight lipped expression, or no expression at all-keeping it all hidden tightly behind whatever mask he’s chosen to wear for whatever reason-but now there’s actually the hint of a small smile wearing the corners of his lips. This isn’t the first night that Kuroto has seen that new expression upon Shusei’s visage. It didn’t take him long to realize that Shusei only wore that expression on the days when he saw Hotsuma. By now everyone who worked at the New World knew about Hotsuma Renjou and Shusei Usui’s relationship even if Shusei never said anything publicly about it. Even Kuroto was baffled that a man like Hotsuma had managed to bring out this side in Shusei that no one could remember seeing. It wasn’t a big change, it was only something small and subtle but that tiny change was enough to make all the difference.
Shusei wasn’t the same person he had been a few weeks ago.
Kuroto sighed as he gave Shusei a slight nod and greeting before the other man walked into the building. He leaned against the wall of the bar’s exterior, hands crossing over his chest, and bangs falling forward to make a veil over his eyes. Seeing Shusei like that-such a tiny but significant change-made him wonder if he could change as well with someone like Senshirou.
Maybe he was foolish for continuing to live this unsatisfying life when someone who cared about him wanted to take him away from it all.
Maybe one day he’d learn to stop being so foolish and just enjoy the things he had been blessed with. Because, just like with Shusei, those happy moments could disappear just as quickly as they were formed.
It was best to enjoy them while they lasted.
++++
Shusei stared at his reflection in the mirror.
He’s alone but he can hear the sounds of the other hosts in the adjacent rooms preparing for the night. They move around the tables, set out glasses, make sure every seat is perfectly positioned. Shusei still remembers the days he had spent doing the same task night after night. It was all about finding the exact place to sit amongst a table of women where attention could be equally divided but where they would still vive for a closer position, the nearer proximity to the thing they wanted.
When he had first begun working as a host, chair positioning had been a special trick of his own. Flirt with the one sitting the closest, draw out the ones that were further out, change seats casually when getting up to get drinks or when playing games with the group. It was really rather easily when thought out correctly-and seemingly without any effort at all the one furthest away would buy a drink with a private room after growing tired of the games and wanting to claim him as the victor.
It worked every single time.
Shusei crosses his arms over his chest and takes a deep breath. His brow furrowed at the slight noise that drifted from the area behind him, pulling him from the thoughts of the past.
"What is it Tachibana?"
"How do you always manage to do that?"
Shusei opened his eyes and watched Tachibana in the reflection of the mirror. He’s wearing another one of his ridiculously bright outfits with a large yellow bowtie and oversized fuchsia hat that hangs low on his brow.
"Do what?"
"It's like you have eyes in the back of your head."
"You're just loud."
"Ah, that one really hurt Shu-kun. Shouldn't you be nicer to the person you work for?"
"I need to finish getting ready."
"Before you do the boss wants to see you."
Shusei blinked and turned around to look at Tachibana. The other man leaned against the entranceway of the door and crossed his arms over his chest. "Now?"
"He's waiting upstairs in his office."
Shusei’s eyes narrow. “Is it bad?”
Tachibana shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, Shu-kun, you’ll have to find that one out for yourself.”
Shusei looked at the corridor behind Tachibana, to the area in the back and the stairs that led toward an upstairs office. Rarely did anyone go up there and never without an invitation.
And an invitation was rarely a good thing.
The single flight of stairs to Takashiro’s office is narrow. Walking up the steep incline feels suffocating. The office itself is above the main floor where the hosts work and Shusei knows from previous visits to the office that it boosts a rather spectacular view of the main street of Kabuchiko. A person could see the entirety of the red light district from Takashiro’s viewpoint.
When Shusei reaches the top of the stairs it’s only a short walk down a hallway to reach Takashiro’s office. The door’s closed when he gets to the top of the stairs but he can see light seeping in through the cracks in the door. He hesitates for a moment, wanting to lean an ear against the sturdy frame and just hear if Takashiro is really waiting there for him-as if even the sound of Takashiro’s sigh will be enough to fill the whole presence of the office and the world and not just the thudding place that's squeezing around his heart.
He knows it’s only natural to be nervous.
The music from downstairs meanders up from the ground and seethes in the air around Shusei’s ears. It pounds, it bullies, it makes everything that much more difficult to concentrate on. He remembers the way Hotsuma’s hand wound around his fingers, the warmth of his touch, the taste of his lips, the pounding of his heart-he held onto all these thoughts before daring to step through that door. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew it was only a matter of time before this summoning occurred though he never anticipated that it would be this soon.
He pushes open the door to Takashiro’s office and steps inside.
The room is always smaller than he remembers. It’s a large wooden desk against a large window and papers that fill the cabinets and high shelves-binders, books, ledgers-everything it takes to run an operation of this size and scale in a city that chokes itself on rules and regulations-especially in a place such as Kabuchiko. Takashiro is there just as he anticipates but he can’t hear his sigh or even the rush of air that leaves Takashiro’s chest when the other man sighs and waves him forward upon hearing him enter. He’s busy typing on the computer screen in front of him, the light of the illuminated screen casting pale shadows upon his furrowed brow.
Shusei steps inside and sits down at the single chair before the desk. He doesn’t say anything-just sits and crosses his leg and rests his hand on his knee and waits.
Finally Takashiro stopped strumming on the keyboard and looked up at him. His hair was let down tonight and it’s cascading over his shoulders in long thick strands that frame the harsh curves of his face and the jagged lines of scar that Shusei doesn’t know the origin of. The glasses are gone as well, abandoned along with his suit’s jacket across the small couch that’s sitting flush against the wall-sandwiched between two shelves and a file cabinet.
“I don’t have to explain, do I?”
Takashiro’s gaze meets his from across the desk and Shusei holds it-holds it until it overwhelms him and he has to look away. He doesn’t say anything because there’s nothing to say.
The sound of Takashiro’s long sigh fills the silence between them. “Don’t set yourself down this path, Shusei. I can’t protect you if you do this.” Takashiro leans back against the plush leather chair, palms coming to rest in his lap. “I’m warning you. Got it?”
“This won’t be an issue.” Shusei looked upward. "I have it under control, Takashiro."
“Are you sure about that?” Takashiro watches him and a frown draws a line on his lips. “I should have stopped this before it progressed any further.” He seems to say the words to himself more than the younger man sitting before him. “If you want to have a relationship you shouldn’t do it in this club. I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Senshirou when he wanted to get engaged to one of his clients: relationships and this place don’t work. You know perfectly well what happened to that relationship. You saw the consequences of Senshirou’s actions with your own eyes.”
Shusei remembers Tsubaki clearly; she was loud, forward, and abrasive. She was the exact type of woman that one would never expect to find in a host bar-a woman that openly stated her distaste for men and the way they acted toward women-yet still she was a regular that came merely for Senshirou and no one else. She became one of Senshirou’s long time clients in no time at all-and they spent hours together both inside and outside of the bar until the lines between host and client became indistinguishable.
But Shusei also knows these feelings he’s carrying around in his chest aren’t the same as the one’s Senshirou held for Tsubaki.
“This isn’t love. This is a job. The same thing won’t happen.”
Takashiro seemed to regard him for a long moment. Finally, he nodded his head. “Fine.” He leaned forward until his elbows were leaning on the table. “Just remember that if you screw this up I won’t hesitate to remove you just like Senshirou. I made a top host out of him and you, I could do the same with another person.” He paused. “You’re not irreplaceable, Shusei.”
He let his last words hang in the silence between them before dismissing Shusei.
++++
It’s pitch black outside by the time Shusei leaves the bar.
Most of the city is covered in a backdrop of dim lights but Kabuchiko is still thriving. The streets are still full with dwindling groups even well after midnight. Shusei makes his way past those bumbling down the sidewalks in a drunken haze, some so wasted that they just lay down against a wall to sleep it off. This scene has become such a second nature that he doesn’t even glance at the bodies that litter the streets or the drunken banter that reaches his ears. This is his world and he’s used to it so nothing shocks him anymore.
Besides, he has more important things on his mind.
Takashiro’s warning keeps playing in the back of his head, the warning in the other man’s words having been perfectly clear. It was true that he was replaceable. He had replaced Senshirou and so could he too be replaced by another man. Some might argue that he had always been a better host than Senshirou but Shusei knew better than to think like that-everything in this world was held in a tremulous balance.
Shusei sighs and stops at the corner of a crosswalk. Cars meander by him and he shoves in his hands into his pockets and thinks of Hotsuma. Thinking about the other man both calms and sends his thoughts into a frenzy-because the moment the other man enters his mind he’s overwhelmed with thoughts of wanting to be next to him and protect him from this dark world that he lives in. He’s terrified that his darkness could extinguish the light that he sees in Hotsuma.
It’s then that Shusei decides he needs to see him, even if only a glance of the building that he sleeps in.
It’s too late for the trains to still be running so he catches a cab to Hotsuma’s apartment. The entire way there he can’t help but stare out the window and think about Takashiro’s words and try to unravel some way out of them. Before he’s barely even left the red light district his mind is a muddled mess of thoughts and possibilities.
The cab takes him in front of the apartments where Hotsuma lives together with Tsukumo. The street is off of the main roads and several minutes away from the closest train station so it’s quiet and dark at this time of night. The only lights emitting from the area are from blinking street lamps. All the apartments and houses that surround him look dark and distant. The difference between this place and the one he had just been in is so obviously different.
When he gets out of the cab he doubts himself. He lets himself wonder for a moment whether he’s made a mistake in coming here. But he can’t get himself to leave the sidewalk beside the building and he’s not sure how long he’s just stood there outside but he does begin to get cold and it’s a long walk back to a main road where he would be able to catch another cab. He thinks maybe the walk would be good for him but he knows he wants to see Hotsuma more than he wants to go home.
Shusei made his way to Hotsuma’s apartment and knocked.
The pause only lasts for a second because Hotsuma opens the door a moment later. The man before him doesn’t look tired despite the late hour but he does look surprised to see Shusei at his doorstep.
“What’s wrong, Shusei?” He holds the door open further and the light from the apartment seeps into the hallway. Shusei can discern the slight concern in Hotsuma’s expression-after all, in all the time since they had first met it’s never been Shusei who prompts the first move. It’s always been Hotsuma-the one who meets him, the one who drops by New World, the one who invites him over to his apartment in the middle of the night. Shusei has always been the instigator who gives Hotsuma the push to do what he wants.
“I wanted to see you,” Shusei says, his voice a soft whisper.
The slight change in Hotsuma’s expression shows he’s satisfied with that answer-maybe even feeling a little boastful that Shusei’s finally taken the step to make an initiative for once. He’s not put off by the late hour or the unexpected intrusion-he actually seems happy to see him. Hotsuma opens the door a little further and Shusei steps inside. A quick glance around the open living room tells him that Tsukumo either isn’t home or is sleeping because the room is quiet and dark except for the small burst of light emitting from Hotsuma’s partially opened bedroom door.
“Tsukumo’s staying the night at Touko’s place.” Hotsuma explained, reading his expression.
“Ah.” He follows Hotsuma back toward his bedroom. He peels off his jacket from work and lays it down gently on the desk as Hotsuma sits heavily on the bed. He watches as Hotsuma draws up a single knee to his chest, the other dangling just above the ground. His golden eyes are following Shusei’s every move.
Shusei crossed the distance between them easily enough. Hotsuma is still looking up toward him as he stands right before the other man. He reaches down a hand and gently brushes the golden strands of hair away from Hotsuma’s face.
“You wanted to see me, huh?” Hotsuma murmurs under his breath, closing his eyes, enjoying the feel of Shusei’s cool touch.
“Yeah.” Shusei says but the word is merely a whisper off his lips, barely perceptible.
Hotsuma eyes open slowly and Shusei looks down into them for only a moment before Hotsuma’s arms wrap around his waist and he’s pulled into the other man’s embrace. Those long and warm limbs clasp around him, Hotsuma’s head buried in his abdomen so that Shusei can feel the pressure of Hotsuma’s nose as he nuzzles his midsection.
He can feel one of Hotsuma’s arms let go of his waist as the fingers find the hem on his shirt and slowly lift. The small burst of cool air makes him inhale but soon he’s covered in the warmth of Hotsuma’s lips on the curves of his hip.
Shusei closes his eyes.
“Shusei.” He hears his name on Hotsuma’s husky voice. “Come here.”
Shusei knows how to compile. He moves into the space that Hotsuma provides, straddling his lap until their faces are inches apart. He finds Hotsuma’s lips and presses softly. The other man reacts by running his fingers through his hair and deepening their kiss when Shusei’s mouth opens for the entrance of Hotsuma’s moist tongue. He sucks lightly, earning a soft grumble of approval from the back of Hotsuma’s throat.
He loses track of the time. He just thinks about the warmth radiating off Hotsuma’s body and how it seems to warm the very corner of his soul; the way Hotsuma’s mouth tastes, the reassurance of Hotsuma’s arms tangled around his body. He isn’t sure how much time passes when he finally pushes away. Hotsuma stares at him with heavy, dozy eyes and he knows without a doubt that tonight-for the first night-Hotsuma isn’t going to be content with just this.
He forces his shaky legs to stand on the ground before Hotsuma.
“Shusei…” Hotsuma’s voice is questioning, cautious.
“It’s okay.” He affirms as he reaches up a hand to his shirt and slowly starts to unbutton it. He looked down toward where Hotsuma sat, hair falling in front of his face until his eyes were nearly invisible behind the veil of brown strands. “I want to do this together with you.” He reached out a hand, gently cupping the side of Hotsuma’s face. “Help me undress, Hotsuma.”
There were no arguments from the younger man. This time Hotsuma stood and gingerly traced his lips on the exposed skin of Shusei’s chest. The flesh was soft and warm, delicate against the brush of Hotsuma’s moist lips. Shusei closed his eyes as Hotsuma’s fingers found the seams of his shirt and slowly undid the last of the buttons that remained.
The exposure of his skin made Shusei shiver until Hotsuma’s arms drew around him and pulled him against his chest. He felt the gentle pressure of Hotsuma’s lips on the top of his head, the other man’s fingers running through the strands to soothe him before slowly sliding the shirt from his shoulders and letting it land on the ground at their feet.
Hotsuma’s hands explored the exposed flesh with trepidation. Shusei’s eyes reflexively closed as he laid back against the mattress and let Hotsuma hover over him. He felt Hotsuma’s hands trace a line down from his chest to his abdomen, causing him to involuntary suck in a breath.
“You’re so skinny,” Hotsuma murmured against the soft flesh of his abdomen as he leaned down to lick at Shusei’s navel, his large hands finding a place to rest on the curve of Shusei’s hips.
“Hmm…” Shusei heard his voice murmur inaudibly.
He heard the sound of Hotsuma pulling his own shirt over his head and discarding it on the floor. He thought Hotsuma looked breathtakingly beautiful. He’s muscular and strong, even covered in a few strange-shaped scars that could have come from any brawl. There is nothing fragile about Hotsuma. He is nothing like Shusei himself.
Those muscular arms circle around him and wrap him in warmth. Hotsuma’s leaning over him and there’s a hazy lust in his eyes different from the type he’s seen in the past. This isn’t just the need to satiate an appetite, this is something else entirely. Shusei can’t pinpoint what it is that he sees in Hotsuma’s eyes and he’s not sure if it even really matters. He’s already decided on this path and this course that he’s taken with Hotsuma and nothing that the other man could say or do would change the way he felt now. He would remain by Hotsuma’s side as long as the other man would let him.
“I care about you, Shusei.”
Shusei looks up at him and smiles softly. “You…really are amazing, Hotsuma.”
The rest of their clothes effortlessly made their way to the floor.
++++
Shusei doesn’t want to wake up from this.
Hotsuma’s arms are tangled around him and he’s warm from the heat of Hotsuma’s body pressed against his bare back. The other man is snoring lightly and Shusei can feel the tingle of his breath on the top of his head.
He feels comfortable like this. Safe. It’s a strange and foreign feeling after living on his own for so long…but he takes a moment and lets himself take it in and experience it.
There is no telling if he’ll ever have another chance to feel this way again.
It’s cold when he shrugs off Hotsuma’s embrace. The apartment is quiet accept for the sound of Hotsuma breathing and the slight noise the bed makes when Shusei slides away from Hotsuma. When he finally gets up he’s surprised at the sores in his muscles and legs but manages to move slowly toward where he discarded his clothes only a few hours ago. He dresses quietly as the sun begins to seep in through the blinds of the curtains. He watches Hotsuma sleeping so comfortably, so peacefully oblivious to everything in his slumber.
For a moment he has to lean against the wall to steady himself. He places a hand on his heart, sure that he would be able to feel the rapid beating through his skin, muscles, and bone.
He didn’t know it could hurt like this.
A small part of him had come here to say goodbye to Hotsuma. A part of him knew the best thing to do would be to leave-to not drag Hotsuma any further into his world, into his darkness-but he can’t.
He’s selfish.
He doesn’t want to be alone anymore, doesn’t want to live in a life faded in darkness without Hotsuma’s light to guide his way. He could have tried to love Hotsuma from afar, to let him go but keep his memory in his heart to remember but after tonight Shusei knows that’s impossible.
He can’t tell Hotsuma these things that he’s struggling with because he knows Hotsuma is too innocent to understand. There’s no way someone bathed in such purity and love and light could understand a dark and selfish thing like himself.
Shusei glances back toward the window and forces himself to stand up straight again. He closes the partially opened curtains until the entire room is bathed in darkness in again. He moves across the small room until he’s before Hotsuma’s bed and undresses once again-crawling back into Hotsuma’s arms and staying there until sleep finally claims him.
++++
Hotsuma’s taking Shusei to dinner.
It’s been a week since the last night when Shusei came to Hotsuma in the middle of the night and it’s the first time they’ve seen each other since. Hotsuma’s been forced into studying for midterms by Tsukumo and Shusei’s been picking up extra hours at New World-and for the first time in a week Shusei’s been able to accept Hotsuma’s request for a celebration dinner with Touko and Tsukumo for the end of midterm exams.
Shusei makes sure to pick his clothes carefully this time-nothing showy or particularly stylish-just jeans, t-shirt, and a hooded leather jacket. Today he won’t be Shusei Usui, the number one host of the New World host bar-today he’s just Shusei.
The train station near his apartment isn’t particularly crowded and he’s grateful when the train that will take him to Hotsuma’s apartment pulls up and is essentially vacant despite the still early hour of the night. He finds a seat among the long row of empty spots and closes his eyes as he feels the train rocking to a start and the soft hum of it speeding down underground tunnels.
The train pulls to a stop at the next station and Shusei’s ears pick up the sound of the train’s doors opening. He hears the shuffle of feet as several people enter and the murmur of animated conversation when the voices come to a sudden and striking halt.
“Well look who it is…”
Shusei’s eyes snapped open at the familiar voice. He looked toward the source, a feeling torn between annoyance and dread filling him at the sight of Jekyll and Hyde entering the train. They weren’t alone either. A small, almost child-like girl entered with them, dressed in gothic lolita clothes of black and purple frills.
Gritting his teeth, Shusei stood to leave the train before the doors closed, not wanting to risk an altercation after just being warned by Takashiro only a week ago to watch his actions. Hyde stepped in front of him before he made it to the door, leather-gloved fingers finding their way around the front of his jacket. “Want to leave?” The man grinned out of one corner of his mouth. “We can make that happen.”
Jekyll shoved him from behind while Hyde pulled him by the collar of his jacket off the train. The small girl with them let out a frightening giggle.
“Who is this beautiful man? I want him.” She clutched a small, almost doll-like purse in her hands and grinned with lips spread too thickly with hot pink lipstick.
“Quiet, Ashley, this one is ours to deal with.”
The girl sighed. “Another person you have a grudge against?” She smiled sweetly, showing a set of pearly white teeth, batting eyelashes weighed down with heavy layers of mascara.. “Just let me have a little bit of fun too, won’t you?”
“Back off Ashley.” This time it’s Jekyll snapping at the girl. “Just sit down over there and watch for anyone coming.” He points toward a bench against the wall. Ashley doesn’t go right away-she huffs and pouts and eventually storms off in a rage but she leaves nonetheless and the feeling spreading through Shusei is getting worse and worse.
He looks around but there’s no one else in sight and he’s smart enough to know that he has no chance of taking down two men their size. He knows his best chance is to run the moment he sees an opening-but Hyde seems to have thought of just that and grips onto him a little bit tighter.
“Don’t be getting any ideas, pretty boy.”
Shusei feels Jekyll’s arm reach across his shoulder until he is pinned against the man’s shoulder. “C’mon Mr. Number-One-Host, we’ve got a few words to share with ya.”
He’s led down one of the corridors of the train station. It’s a dark, unlit area with the only light illuminating it coming from the far away subway exits. The area is closed for renovations but Jekyll and Hyde pay the warning signs no heed as they usher him further into the stomach of the abandoned train station corridor. Finally the twins seem to think they’ve gone far enough and release him.
The tiled floor feels rough even through his jeans when he’s abruptly pushed to the ground.
He can feel the firm pressure of hands on his shoulders, an arm snaking around him and applying too much pressure around his neck to be comfortable. Shusei has to gulp back the bile that builds in his throat at the gruff grip of this man on his skin. He uses his arm to shove Jekyll away and move his back against the wall so the two can’t get between him.
“Don’t touch me.” He spat out.
“Ahaha, he speaks, Hyde!” Jekyll snarls, unfazed. “I was wondering when he’d open that pretty little mouth of his and give us a show.”
“Dirty more than pretty. Can’t even begin to imagine what’s been down there.” Hyde added. “He even does guys these days.”
Shusei's fingers balled into fists at his side.
Hyde grinned. “Hey Jekyll, I bet he’d even do you.”
“Ah? Ya think so?” Jekyll’s eyes narrow as he looks at Shusei. “How much, eh, Shusei? How much do you charge?”
Shusei’s eyes narrowed and his lips set into a straight line. He can feel his fingernails digging into the soft flesh of his palm.
Jekyll crosses the distance between them until he’s nearly on top of Shusei. He can smell the stench of his breath, the moist and dirty heat of his words as he leans near Shusei’s ear to whisper. “I’ll make you regret those words you said before you little-“
He never got a chance to finish hearing the sentence because the next moment Shusei’s pushing himself off the wall and making a run for the exit-but then he’s not. He’s doubled over against the wall, slumping down the wall with his breath gone and his stomach aching from where he’s been hit. He isn’t even given a moment to think about taking a lung full of oxygen when a fist connects with his face and he hits the ground face first. He tastes blood and dirt and gravel-and all he can feel is the kick at his side and the pang of his head banging against the side of the ground-and he barely manages to tuck his body inward to protect himself before he feels his vision hazing in and out.
Jekyll slams his boot into his back causing Shusei to cough out in pain. The heel of his shoe digs in and Shusei grits his teeth as he feels his eyes tearing up.
"Thinking you're better than everyone else...this'll teach ya to be so high and mighty in the future."
Fingers dig into his hair, scrapping the top of his scalp and pulling until he was forced to look up-but he couldn't see anything because his vision was blotched with blood and spots of darkness.
"Look at me when we're talking to ya."
He doesn't know who's speaking anymore but he feels fingers lace under his jaw and jerk his head in a painful direction.
"Pathetic." His jaw is roughly released. "Let's get out of here, Hyde."
He didn’t know how long he remained like that on the floor of the subway station and just how long he was able to hold on to consciousness but at some point in time it stopped and it felt as if he were trying to keep himself awake when all he wanted to do was fall into a chasm of a deep sleep.
Shusei didn’t get up.
He vaguely recalled the sound of voices speaking to him, of his body being pushed over onto his back by a foot-but nothing was clear and nothing made sense. Eventually the sounds seemed to dissipate-it must have been the echo of Jekyll and Hyde’s footsteps fading into the distance-but still, Shusei lay there on the ground unmoving.
Shusei stared up at the ceiling for so long that he lost track of all time. He just waited, trying to keep himself awake, forcing his eyes to focus. Eventually he managed to roll himself onto his back and push himself into a sitting position against the wall. He looked down at the space between his legs, bangs falling forward and covering the sides of his face until they drifted into his field of vision. He didn’t need to touch his head to know the soft strands were matted in blood, clinging to the side of his face where it was drying. His lip was tender, tasting faintly of metallic when his tongue gingerly swept across it.
He sighed.
Jekyll and Hyde had always been harmless annoyances in the past. They tagged along with Reiga, acted gruff but they had always been more bark than bite. But now something must have changed to make them more active. Without a doubt Shusei knew this had to do with Takashiro. But Reiga and Takashiro’s relationship had always been shadowed in unknown, which meant there was no telling what this could lead to.
The only thing Shusei felt sure about was that there would only be trouble ahead-and he needed to be even more careful. He needed to protect Hotsuma. Takashiro’s warnings were not something to take lightly.
His fingers dug into the pocket of his jacket until they encircled around his phone. There was a text message waiting for him from Hotsuma.
Where are you?
He knows letting Hotsuma find out about this will only make things more difficult.
I can’t meet with you tonight.
It’s only seconds after he hits the send button that he can hear his phone ringing. It’s Hotsuma.
His eyes close as he answers the phone.
“Yes?”
“Why?”
“Something’s come up. I’ll see you another time.”
A pause. “Shusei?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re alright, aren’t you?”
“Of course.” He lied. “I have to go now, Hotsuma.”
“Okay…”
Shusei hung up the phone, letting it slip inbetween his fingers until it clanked to the ground. He wasn’t ready to stand up yet so he just sat there and buried his face into his hands.