WHAT DO I FEEL, AND WHY AM I SO CONFUSED ABOUT IT?
I am so confused when it comes to my relationships lately. There are times when i miss the exes, because when you love someone that isnt something that can be turned of or placed on the back burner and brought up front when its convienent for you.
This past weekend I did something that made me feel better than i had in quite some time. I went to Toronto to visit with a new friend. From the moment i arrived there was a sea of questions that i was asking myself and i didnt have any answers to any of them, but i just went with it.
It was one of the best decisions that i had ever made because i was able to just let loose and relax, and the amazing thing is that this is someone that i had just met and i felt so comfortable around him. We were speaking before hand and our conversation were just intensified by the chemistry that we have. I was able to talk to him about things that i only tell my closest friends and sometime is dont even tell them because i feel like they think i am just bitching again. There wasnt any of that, he offered his opinions when he sensed that they were needed, or just simply sat there and listened. I felt as if he was really interested in what i had to say and wanted to know more about me, who i am, where is come from, what i've been through, and in the end wasnt judgemental at all.
The thing i most enjoyed was holding him as we slept. It wasnt forced attraction or affection, it was almost electrifying. Almost as if there were waves of some sort flowing freely between our bodies and connecting us. It was unlike anything that i had expirienced before and i was truly happy and satisfied in that moment, and i didnt want it to end, and even when it did, i couldnt wait to feel his breath against my chest again.
He is by far one of the most cultured, sexy, sensitive, beautiful, and free spirited people that i have ever met. There is a sense of humility that he posses that makes me want to be around him every moment that i can. I find myself wondering throughout the day what he may be doing, thinking, and hoping that i am in his thoughts, because he is all i ever think about. I know that i have a history of rushing things and I really want this time to be different. I want to foundation. I want us to be lovers AND friends. He is the kind of person that would be beneficial to have in my life and i have a feeling that he is going to be around for a long time.
The best thing about the situation is that we have already talked about the possibilities of a relationship and decided that it would be best for the both of us if we would just be, for now and if our feelings grow stronger and we would like to expirience things on a different level then so be it. My intuition thinks that there is a strong possibility that things will reach that level one day, but i still say i'll take it one day at a time and take things as they go.
I guess when i read back over this post, i am not so confused. I know what i have to do, it is just a matter of doing it and making my actions speak louder than words. I went out last night, and i didnt have to urge to impress anyone, or get over dressed. I think that nice guys really dont finish last, we just have a longer race to run and have to run the race throughout the entire duration. Until next time!
This past weekend I did something that made me feel better than i had in quite some time. I went to Toronto to visit with a new friend. From the moment i arrived there was a sea of questions that i was asking myself and i didnt have any answers to any of them, but i just went with it.
It was one of the best decisions that i had ever made because i was able to just let loose and relax, and the amazing thing is that this is someone that i had just met and i felt so comfortable around him. We were speaking before hand and our conversation were just intensified by the chemistry that we have. I was able to talk to him about things that i only tell my closest friends and sometime is dont even tell them because i feel like they think i am just bitching again. There wasnt any of that, he offered his opinions when he sensed that they were needed, or just simply sat there and listened. I felt as if he was really interested in what i had to say and wanted to know more about me, who i am, where is come from, what i've been through, and in the end wasnt judgemental at all.
The thing i most enjoyed was holding him as we slept. It wasnt forced attraction or affection, it was almost electrifying. Almost as if there were waves of some sort flowing freely between our bodies and connecting us. It was unlike anything that i had expirienced before and i was truly happy and satisfied in that moment, and i didnt want it to end, and even when it did, i couldnt wait to feel his breath against my chest again.
He is by far one of the most cultured, sexy, sensitive, beautiful, and free spirited people that i have ever met. There is a sense of humility that he posses that makes me want to be around him every moment that i can. I find myself wondering throughout the day what he may be doing, thinking, and hoping that i am in his thoughts, because he is all i ever think about. I know that i have a history of rushing things and I really want this time to be different. I want to foundation. I want us to be lovers AND friends. He is the kind of person that would be beneficial to have in my life and i have a feeling that he is going to be around for a long time.
The best thing about the situation is that we have already talked about the possibilities of a relationship and decided that it would be best for the both of us if we would just be, for now and if our feelings grow stronger and we would like to expirience things on a different level then so be it. My intuition thinks that there is a strong possibility that things will reach that level one day, but i still say i'll take it one day at a time and take things as they go.
I guess when i read back over this post, i am not so confused. I know what i have to do, it is just a matter of doing it and making my actions speak louder than words. I went out last night, and i didnt have to urge to impress anyone, or get over dressed. I think that nice guys really dont finish last, we just have a longer race to run and have to run the race throughout the entire duration. Until next time!