SAME STORY DIFFERENT SETTING
What the hell is wrong with me, i dont know what i am doing half the time anymore. I am either bored as hell trying to talk to any and everyone here, just so that i can have some sort of social life, or watching these love stories and trying to create another love equation into my life that really should not fit! Why do i continue to do this over and over again, i am only ninteen, i have the rest of my life to fall in love, right? So why the fuck do i have this urge to create the image of the rest of my life with everyone that i meet?
This is so fucked up, because he would be the catch of a century, only problem is ME. I was perfectly fine before we got a chance to connect on that personal level, and every since then i cant stop thinking about him. He crosses my mind more than sex on the brain of a straight man!
What am i doing? I dont want him to think that things are already getting wierd and we havent even met good yet. I know what it is, its the curse that we all get from my mother. Its the fear of being alone and falling in love with the thought of being in love. Only up until now i have always been the one that can ignore that feeling, or stop it before it causes too much harm.
But he is so cute, and the thing that i am most attracted to is him as a person. There actually isnt anything shallow here, we click together. I have never met someone that i could just get this comfortable around this early on. He is an amazing artist and he is actually from home. We have so many things in common, but there are also twice as many things that we dont even get about each other, but let me just say that that is just a suspicion. He travels the world, he is in magazines, his ex is a wealthy masculine and beautiful. How would i ever compete with that.
No, shut up bitch! I am supposed to be trying to figure out how to get it in my head that this is not going to work, not thinking up ways to try to get it too work.
When I looked into his eyes, i didnt see worry, stress, anger, in fact it was purity and positive. What do i make of that. We talked for hours and it seemed like minutes. I need to learn how to just have friends, and if we are friends and its supposed to happen then i will be there for it to happen.
No, no, no. This is not supposed to be happening this way. I am supposed to be just going to work and not even trying to have a social life. This is a new start and i am already bringing drama into my own life. Why couldnt i just wait for someone to just do it for me. I dont know whats going on lately.
I am changing and ive never went through anything like it before. Nothing i say anymore is set in stone. My mind changes as easily as the direction of tall grass in a strong wind. Maybe i am just going through a phase. Its nothing, its just a phase!
This is so fucked up, because he would be the catch of a century, only problem is ME. I was perfectly fine before we got a chance to connect on that personal level, and every since then i cant stop thinking about him. He crosses my mind more than sex on the brain of a straight man!
What am i doing? I dont want him to think that things are already getting wierd and we havent even met good yet. I know what it is, its the curse that we all get from my mother. Its the fear of being alone and falling in love with the thought of being in love. Only up until now i have always been the one that can ignore that feeling, or stop it before it causes too much harm.
But he is so cute, and the thing that i am most attracted to is him as a person. There actually isnt anything shallow here, we click together. I have never met someone that i could just get this comfortable around this early on. He is an amazing artist and he is actually from home. We have so many things in common, but there are also twice as many things that we dont even get about each other, but let me just say that that is just a suspicion. He travels the world, he is in magazines, his ex is a wealthy masculine and beautiful. How would i ever compete with that.
No, shut up bitch! I am supposed to be trying to figure out how to get it in my head that this is not going to work, not thinking up ways to try to get it too work.
When I looked into his eyes, i didnt see worry, stress, anger, in fact it was purity and positive. What do i make of that. We talked for hours and it seemed like minutes. I need to learn how to just have friends, and if we are friends and its supposed to happen then i will be there for it to happen.
No, no, no. This is not supposed to be happening this way. I am supposed to be just going to work and not even trying to have a social life. This is a new start and i am already bringing drama into my own life. Why couldnt i just wait for someone to just do it for me. I dont know whats going on lately.
I am changing and ive never went through anything like it before. Nothing i say anymore is set in stone. My mind changes as easily as the direction of tall grass in a strong wind. Maybe i am just going through a phase. Its nothing, its just a phase!